300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

Let's get a show of hands: Who among us is still into physical fitness after seeing that picture? That's what I thought, no one. Pass me a Twinkie!

This will be probably be the last Trivia Friday for a few weeks. Someone is on the verge of winning the contest, and Trivia Friday needs to put its head down on a big, fluffy pillow and have a little nap for a spell. It's for the best, the Lord spoke in my ear and told me to kibosh the Trivia game. That Lord, he's so down with the inner-city talk it's not funny.

Here are the updated totals of our Carbon Credit game:

Chris Taylor --3/3 = 290 carbon credits
Todd --0/3 = 220 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 265 credits
Dmorris--1/3 = 155 credits
Nancy 0/3 = 105 carbon credits
Linds 0/3 = 95 carbon credits <----- suppose to pop out child today!
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Cudgel--0/5= 56.8481 carbon credits
Reg--0/3 = 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 3/3 = 90 carbon credits
Darren 2/3 = 85 carbon credits
Polska 0/3 45 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--0/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--1/3 = 45 credits
OMMAG 0/3 = 30 carbon credits
Dino 0/3 30 credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 0/3 20 Credits

Here are this weeks questions:

1) Captain Darren and Professor OMMAG played chess. They played seven games, each won the same number of games, and there weren't any draws or stalemates. How could this have happened?

2) If a grandfather clock takes five seconds to strike 6 o'clock, how many seconds will it take to strike 12 o'clock?

3) J. M. Heinrich's got out of jail and pushed his car to the St. James Place Hotel. When he arrived he realized he was bankrupt. How could this financial disaster be explained?

If the answer is *duh* for all three questions, then I have gone a perfect 3/3 this week.

Good luck to all the participants this week. We encourage all new Mitchievillian's to participate, including special needs players and limbless-Canadians.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

We are inching closer to 300 Carbon Credits and a giant prize extravaganza, it's just around the corner. And you know what else is just around the corner? The rapture. I suggest you make peace with our Christian Lord and start flying straight, as it stands now, I might be the only Mitchievillian to even reach the pearly gates. That doesn't bode well for you. Sinners.

In order to figure out the newly revised scores of the contest, we have to dial it back to June 6 when we had our last trivia game. I remember the day well. The corn was high in the fields, there was a gentle breeze on my cheeks, the sun was shining and a local radio station played happy songs with the word love in it each and every time. Those are what we refer to around here as the *good ole days*. Yes sir.

The answers from the June 6 trivia are thusly: 1) Never 2) Rainbow 3) Pink

Shocking, oui?

Here is how the standings have been affected:

Chris Taylor --2/3 = 245 carbon credits
Todd --0/3 = 220 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 210 credits
Dmorris--1/3 = 140 credits
Nancy 1/3 = 95 carbon credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Linds 1/3 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Reg--0/3= 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/3 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel--0/3= 53.18409 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--0/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/3 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 1/3 45 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/3 20 Credits
Dino 1/3 20 credits

For the first time since the contest started, Todd has been removed from the top spot and Chris has moved right in. Not only did Chris move right in, he took all of Todd's belongings, poured gas on them, took them to the curb and lit everything on fire. He also sang showtunes while doing it.

Let's get you three new questions, each with a value of 10 points:

1) I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?

2) Peter decided to walk to the local waterfall, 10 miles away. At the moment he started, his dog ran off from his side and proceeded to the waterfall at a constant 8 miles per hour. As soon as the dog reached the waterfall, it started the return journey to Peter, keeping to the same speed. The dog continued this odd behaviour until Peter reached the waterfall. If Peter kept to a constant 4 miles per hour, how far did the dog run in total?

3) At the annual dancer's ball a number of very experienced dancers performed their favourite dance with their favourite partners. Alan danced the tango, whilst Becky watched the waltz. James and Charlotte were fantastic together. Keith was magnificent during his foxtrot and Simon excelled at the rumba. Jessica danced with Alan, but Laura did not dance with Simon. Can you determine who danced with whom and which dance they each enjoyed?

I find that my copy and paste technique is pretty much unrivaled in the blogging world. I really should get a medal for that.

Good luck to all that participate this week. Even if you are not in the contest but would like to play, feel free to jump in and leave your answers. We love seeing new players, this isn't the Royal family, we have no intention on having relations with our sisters and brothers. Wow, you just creeped me the hell out.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

Another terrific prize has been added to the mix this week: an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* t-shirt? Well, I personally officialized it.

So, to recap, the winner of the 300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame will receive a giant bottle of the finest Mennonite maple syrup known to man (it really is some amazing stuff), a Tim Horton's or Starbuck's gift card, and an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* Mitchieville T-Shirt. I'm not going to explain that twice, try keeping up with the tour next time.

I've had a few of these shirt commissioned, and starting next week I will start giving them away for various reasons, through various games, and however else I deem it necessary to unload them.

Here are the answers to last week's questions:

1) 1= Jamie the Dalmatian
2= Sammy the Alsatian
3= Whitney the Dane
4= Jimmy the Poodle

2) 20 Miles

3) Upside down

And here is the new scoreboard:

Todd --3/3 = 200 carbon credits
Chris Taylor --3/3 = 175 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 165 credits
Dmorris--0/3 = 105 credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Reg--0/3 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/3 = 75 carbon credits <----- ready to pop out baby any second now
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrich’s 1/3 = 60 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Nancy 2/3 = 75 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 3/3 = 75 carbon credits
Polska 2/3 =60 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel--1/3= 45.739015 carbon credits

Man, is it ever humid today. What a humid day.

Where most games will tally the totals and place the ranking from first to last, we've decided at Mitchieville central to just list the scores and names of the person willy-nilly. We are big fans of willy-nilly, we think those two words are a laugh riot.

Let's have a boo at this week's questions:

1) A man and a boy who are walking together step out with their right feet first. The boy walks three paces while the man walks two. When will the both put their left feel forward together. Explain.

2) This natural phenomenon is always a full circle. If someone said to you they had seen one at high noon, they would not be telling the truth. As a matter of fact, it cannot be seen if the sun is at an altitude greater than 42 degrees, since no part of it would be above the horizon.

3) What color does litmus turn when dipped into acid?

Best of luck to everybody who plays this week. Man, it really is humid in here.

Oh, I nearly forgot, to catch up on lost trivia and a chance to propel yourself to the top of the leader board, remember to play Tuesday Trivia with Fenris, and What's in The Mayor's Lunch?

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

We had a terrific response to last week's trivia, I couldn't be happier. We had quite a few people participate last week, and now those people are on their way to 300 carbon credits and the chance to win some fabulous prizes. Give the people something sparkly, Fenris, that's how we got Manhattan!

The answers for last week's trivia were--

1) Air force
2) Net
3) Sinatra
4) M & K
5) Oil

After some calculations, a bevy of addition, a few conference calls with Fenris and a meeting with UN officials, we have the first tally in regarding the leader board. It is as follows:

Todd 50 carbon credits
Chris Taylor 40 carbon credits
Rhebner 40 carbon credits
Linds (who is very pregnant, so no sudden noises) 30 carbon credits
Nancy 30 carbon credits
Reg 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Darren 10 carbon credits
Cudgel .025 carbon credits
Anon 50 carbon credits (but all for nothing, I suppose)

If anyone has found a mistake in my calculations, please let me know and I will correct it immediately.

For those of you looking up Todd's rear, he may be leading now, but there are plenty of chances to catch his rear. Like What's in The Mayor's Lunch? that's a great opportunity to catch Todd's rear. Or Trivia Tuesday, that's another chance to catch and beat Todd's rear.

Today I have a series of riddles for you, each correct answer is worth 15 carbon credits. Good luck to you:

1) Throw it off the highest building, and I'll not break. But put me in the ocean, and I will. What am I?

2) I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I?

3) What kind of coat can only be put on when wet?

I never knew this before I typed out those questions, but over all, riddles are pretty gay.

I encourage those who haven't played before to start today. I encourage those that have played before to play agin. I encourage those that are unemployed to buck up and get off welfare and give us taxpayers a break. you know who you are, drug addict.

Origins Friday

Last week, I was informed by Franky, that the previous week's MindTrap Friday was no more than a farce. Franky was good enough to point out to The Mayor that it was Tom Hanks and not Woody Harrelson that was the voice of Woody from Toy Story.

Never in the history of MindTrap Friday have we ever had a colossal cock-up like the one we had last week. I'm ashamed, I'm mortified, but most of all, I'm not horny in the least.

Seeing as though Tom Hanks was the correct answer and not Woody Harrelson, I revoke the winnership of the previous winners and have put a stop payment on the cheque that was issued to them. Therefore, for only the eighth time in MindTrap history, there were no winners....two weeks ago.

As for last week though? There was one winner: Franky.

Typically, Franky would be entitled to a myriad of wonderful gifts and cash prizes. However, seeing as though Franky thought it wise to embarrass The Mayor in front of his constituents, Franky will actually have his personal property taken away from him. He will also lose three privileged tokens, and Fenris has restricted Franky's Victory Coffee intake to just one cup a week.

Sure, Franky is last week's MindTrap Smarty Panted Winner of the Week, but not without a cost. Congratulations, Franky, and sorry for your loss.

Let's face it though, Franky will know better next time not to call The Mayor out on things.

This week we are slipping back into the Origin's game. We've always had a good time with that, why wouldn't we this week? The answer is that we will have a good time this week. Man, I must be nervous, I can't stop typing.

Let's git 'er dun!

1) Invention--The first recorded use of this concept was in early Egypt. The original mixture was a combination of honey and crocodile feces. Whether it worked or not is open to speculation, but it certainly shows the extent to which people will go to obtain the pleasures, while avoiding possible consequences.

2) Name--The world famous American military corps, was once part of the British army. It was formed in 1740, in the present day territory of New York city. At the conclusion of the American Revolution, the newly formed nation simply adopted this branch of British military for its own.

3) Name--Under certain conditions, a shaved head is a prudent head. For years, military personnel, embroiled in combat, shaved their heads to avoid problematic head lice. This particular bird is virtually bald for the same reason. It is constantly poking its head into places that breed mites, lice, and other disease carrying bacteria.

Before you go guessing that the answer for #3 is Sandra Bernhardt, it isn't, please refer to my award-winning Sandra Bernhardt post from two days ago.

Good luck with those questions, and let's see what you are made of this week. Ya, I'm talking to you, Franky.

Entertainment Friday--So, It's Not MindTrap, But It's Still Trivia, So I Thought You Would Be Happy--You Are Happy, Right?

Not to sound like a blues song, but I woke up this morning and I felt as if I was coming down with a cold. I had all the classic symptoms: stuffy head, aches and pains, sore throat, big erection. But then I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup a tea, went into the computer room and sat down and poof--I feel like 3/4 million bucks.

I'm not sure what to make of that. Maybe our bedroom is diseasey. Perhaps I was just seconds away from a cold but I escaped its terrifying grip. Or maybe I'm a super-hero and am immune from the forces of disease. Ya, that sounds sexy, I'm ColdMan!

We had so many MindTrap winners last week that if we were having a parade and had to stretch out our winners by laying them down flat, head to feet, they would stretch out a good 25 feet. That's a lot of feet!

Look at this list and marvel at the brilliance that are/is the MindTrap winner(s). JustanotherJaybird, DINO, Polska, Todd--he's a foreigner! And Steamboat McGoo.

If We are the Champions wasn't the most over-played AND gayest song ever written, I would play that for you right now and announce that you folks are Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week.

However, seeing as though I detest that song, I will just announce that you are all Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week without the musical fanfare.

You pretty much know that after these guys take home the Smarty Panted Award, they are so full of confidence that they march into their house, grab their woman by the ass and throw her onto the bed and say, "Woman, suck my tit". And you know, that's pretty hot. Good on ya, mates!

This week we are taking a break from MindTrap and going with general entertainment trivia. However, the trivia won't be strictly about generals, but rather trivia *in general*. Sometimes it's hard to make that distinction, and I didn't want you feeling like a total tool.

Let's git 'er dun!

1) Who was the first feline featured in Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?

2) Who was the voice behind Woody, the cowboy doll in Toy Story?

3) What infomercial diet guru penned the monster bestseller "Never Say Diet"?

4) What's the first word of the most pop song titles?

5) What Adam Sandler comedy featured Bob Barker's screen debut?

It's hard to say, but I think that the winner of this game will have to get 4/5.

I got a solid 4, it was question 4 that threw me for a loop, I may be way off on my answer.

What say you? Do you have what it takes to stand on the same crowded podium as this week's winners? Give it a try, it's the only was to find out if you're smart, or, well, stupid. Better finding out from me that from some other guy that would mush it into your face.

MENSA Friday/Linkie Love

Great picture, from Curmudgeonly and Skeptical. I knew there was something fishy about the original.

I've decided to mix MENSA Friday and Linkie Love today, I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, but I predict it will be delicious. How is it possible to link the finest game on the internets with the finest link dump on the webs? Oh, it's possible, you just keep on providing the viewership and I'll keep providing the magic. Ta da. Oh, right, you can't see that. But if you could, you would have seen that I just pulled a giant sausage from my underwear.

There was only one winner of MENSA Friday last week, and that gentleman goes by the name of Daniel Mahaffey. I've never heard of Daniel before, he might have Googled the word MENSA and was directed here, or he might be a lurker from way back and just decided to join in the fun as of last week. Either way, he owns you people, and for that you should be ashamed. Or happy, I couldn't care less, either way I'm eating a ham steak tonight. Congrats, Daniel, you are the MENSA-Head of the week.

Replace the second letter of each word in both columns with the same letter so that two new words are formed. Place the letter used in the empty section. When this has been completed for all the words, another word can be read down. What is the word?

Avid_________________Exit
Cord_________________Bore
Aces_________________Aped
Ball_________________Mind
Opus_________________Slap
Sway_________________Shun
Toil_________________Mute

Two words, using the same letters in their construction, can be used to replace the dots in this sentence. The sentence will then make sense. What are the words?

After the double wedding, the two ****** walked through the hall, which was littered with the ****** from the party held the previous night.

Hmmmm. I think I know the second question right off the bat, I'll have to work on the first question for a bit. There, I got it. It took me less that 1 second.

On to the linkie love...

KaleidoDraw is the web version of Kaleidoscope, and it is something that will keep you busy for a spell. Oh what fun, wow, the colours. I'm totally freaking out.

After more than 30 years of civil war, ending in 1998, the Cambodian government destroyed 125,000 weapons across the country. The Peace Art Project Cambodia was a sculpture project turning weapons into art as expressions of peace (I really digged the Uzi ottoman)

Amnesy Internation, those raving commies, have designed a replica of Guantanamo cell occupied by David Hicks. Nice digs, I wish I had a cell that big.

Would I say that the Japanese Spiderman is cool as the North American version of Spiderman? No, I wouldn't say that at all. Not even for a second does he compare.

I've been screwing around Witty Comics for a few days, and I have to say that dollars for donuts, this is the best place, barr none to make your own comic strips. Great fun.

Stefan Meyes has a great collection of high res pictures from three continents. I'm not sure, but he has one picture of a giant Rhino that's pretty incredible...then again, it might be Rosie O'Donnell chewing on a gazelle. Either way, it's worth a look.

If you care to see if there is currently any extreme weather taking place in Europe, perhaps you need to see if it is cloudy, that might affect what day you'll bomb France, then head over to Meteoalarm. You need to see it to appreciate it.

I've posted something like this before, but ugly celebrities are always worth seeing. It goes to show that even that zit-faced little puke who lives beside you could make it to Hollyweird if enough makeup was applied to her/him.

Jay and Silent Bob sing the Dope song, and The Mayor laughed until a trickle of blood ran out of my nose. Good times, very good times.

That's it for MENSA Friday/Linkie Love, I'm exhausted. Good luck with the questions today, and good luck with the broken links I gave you.

MENSA Friday

If you have ever wondered if your cat can run at supersonic speeds, the answer is yes. If you care to see your cat run at breakneck speed, this is what you're going to need: A set of stairs and a water bottle.

Make sure that your water bottle is at least half full. Wait until your cat is at the bottom of the stairs, it's also best if you're descending the stairs. When you're walking past the cat, look away, pretend to not pay any attention to it. When you are just past the cat, swing around violently and hit the cat in the ass with the water bottle. You have 13 steps on your staircase, I guarantee your cat will leap all of them in less than one second.

Supersonic cat, go try it out.

MENSA Friday is back, and looking for vengeance. I know you missed MENSA Friday as much as you miss that red spotted growth that was taking up half your lip about two years ago. Well, you can relax, it's back. Not the red spotted growth, that's not back, at least not on your lip, however, I would get that large green lump that has attached itself to your nutsac checked out. Let's just admit it, that thing is super gross.

Let's play MENSA Friday, River Rat, give me a drum roll....

Replace the second letter of each word in both columns with the same letter so that two new words are formed. Place the letter used in the empty section. When this has been completed for all the words, another word can be read down. What is the word?

Star_________Ants
Play_________Blow
Sack_________Wane
Acid_________Shut
Tear_________Arks
Ripe_________Vale
Goat_________Ions

Here's another type of MENSA puzzle you might find interesting:

Five of the words in the diagram are associated for some reason. Find the words and then work out whether PLANT belongs to the group.

BURNT-----EVENT
COUNT-----CADET
MERIT-----FAULT
FLINT-----CARAT
ABBOT-----GIANT

Remember, keep to yourself, don't be looking on any else's paper, that's called cheating, my friend, and Mitchievillian's aren't cheaters. Well, I can only speak for myself...and Fenris, and maybe TH III, and River Rat. And Mark. And maybe Suvorov. And Alex.

MENSA Friday

As Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in N.E. Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, the World, it is my job to listen to *the people*. My government is a government by the people and for the people. And I swear to you, as God is my witness, I'm saying that with a straight face.

I had a suggestion this week by a Mitchievillian that goes by the name of MechEng. This was the suggestion which MechEng gave The Mayor regarding MENSA Friday, "can you link back to the previous post when you put up the answers so that we can easily go back and read everyone else's answer? The wrong answers are usually VERY creative and fun to read".

Yes, MechEng, yes I can. Thank you for your wonderful suggestion, it sure beats the last one you gave me, "Hey, Mayor, you should take your head out of your ass and learn some facts before you go spouting off about things you have no idea about". Oh MechEng, you'll be the death of me.

Here are the answers to last weeks questions: 1) Wrongway Blacktopp drives his car in reverse.

2) The hair on a man's head is usually at least twenty years older than the hair in his moustache

3) Thursday

4) This is part of the story of Oedipus, who replied to the Sphinx, "Man, who in childhood creeps on hands and knees, in manhood walks erect, and in old age with the aid of a staff." Morning, day and night are representative of the stages of life. The Sphinx was so mortified at the solving of her riddle that she cast herself down from the rock and perished.

Harrison, Mac, Jihad Jimmy and Fenris all answered question 1 correctly.

2) Harrison was the only soul to answer correctly...although all the other answers were fantastic.

3) Mac, Alex, Scott, Jihad Jimmy and MechEng answered correctly.

4) Harrison, Mac, Scott, Jihad Jimmy, MechEng and Fenris all answered correctly.

The winners of MENSA Friday are Jihad Jimmy, Mac, and Harrison. That seems like an awful lot of winners, but aren't we all winners, at least in our heart? Aren't we all winners according to God? Aren't we all winners in the eyes of our children? Hahaha, of course not, I told you, Jimmy, Mac and Jihad Jimmy are winners, the rest of you can stand on the sidewalk and clap as the real winners go by.

Here are the questions for this week's MENSA Friday:

1) Galilea is afraid of big, green and blue, pyjama-eating monsters hiding under her bed. She usually runs from her bedroom door and leaps onto her bed so the monsters can't get her. Even though Galilea's bed is twelve feet from the door, she manages to switch off her light and jump into bed before her room is dark. Since Galilea doesn't use The Clapper or any other devices to flip the switch, how is she able to accomplish this remarkable feat and protect herself from the Boogeyman?

2) Brandon, a normal(?) businessman with no criminal tendencies or physical disabilities, was travelling to Convergence in Boston. Every time he came to an airport, he took off his NiceBoots™ to save himself trouble with airport security. He took his boots off for a few minutes only and then put them on again. Why?

3) You have two traditional hourglass-type egg timers, named Ridley and Orson. One takes 7 minutes for the sand to run through, the other takes 11 minutes. You want to boil an ostrich egg for exactly 15 minutes. How can you do it? And how soon after the start of the whole process will the egg be ready?

4) How do they get the caramel centres into the Caramilk chocolate bar

The last question is kind of a personal question I've always wondered about.

So there you have it, best of luck, god speed, may the wind be at your back, and do anything to avoid the stomach flu. That shit will murderfy you.

Remember, leave your answers in the box, no peaking at the other answers, and all newbies are welcome to play...this is an inclusive society, we love everyone equally.

MENSA Friday

Another weekend is upon us, is everyone excited? I sure am, because that can only mean one thing: It's MENSA Friday. By far the bestest game ever in the history of civilization. Sure, Deal or no Deal is pretty popular, but in MENSA Friday you don't have to put up with that insufferable prick Howie Mandel. Howie in the hell does that guy keep finding work? Only in America, I suppose.

Here are the answers to last weeks questions:

6. Whoa!
7. You would rather the tiger attack the lion.
8. Parents.
9. A dead dog.
10. In the dark.

Harrison, the Retired Geez, Scott and Lindsay all answered correctly. The rest of you had some great answers, but they were still, none the less, dead wrong.

7) Darren, Kton, Scott, the Geez and ELZBTH all answered correctly.

8) After consulting Fenris, we have decided that the Geez is the only one that got this question correct. He said Ancestors. You didn't.

9) No one answered correctly, although Kton had a pretty funny answer, so I'll credit him/her with .3 of a point for making me chuckle.

10)The Retired Geez and Scott answered correctly. The rest of you were not prepared for the trickery that was that question. MENSA is wise, it tricked you, now you must find it and kill it.

And the winner is....the Retired Geez! Mt brotha from a different baby motha wins MENSA Friday. I do believe this is the Geez's second MENSA win, putting him in the higher echelon of the Butchs' (who no longer plays, boo Butch), MechEng (who no longer plays) Richard (who no longer plays) and Einstein (who's quite dead). Congrats Geez, you are the MENSA-head of the week.

On to this week's incredibly delicious, and very nutritious questions:

1) John and his pet duck, Saltene, were watching television. Just after the midnight news there was a weather forecast: "It is raining now and will rain for the next two days." This made Saltene very happy. "However," the forecast continued, "in 72 hours it will be bright and sunny." John laughed. "Wrong again!" He was correct, but how did he know?

2) A woman gave a man something to eat. It caused him to die. It was not poisoned or poisonous. They both knew it was dangerous, because they had been given warnings by a duck who was sitting in a pond in their garden. Why did the man die?

3) Carey Queen works on the 35th floor of an office tower. Most mornings Carey will ride the elevator as far as the 25th floor, then climb the stairs to the 35th. On mornings when it's raining, however, he will always ride the elevator to the 35th floor. Since Carey is neither fond of exercise nor superstitious, what could be the reason for this rather bizarre behaviour?

Is the word *Dhu* an answer? Cuz if it is, I got all three right this week.

Thanks for playing MENSA Friday, I always enjoy your answers, your camaraderie, and the way you have built me up into some kind of God on earth. I think it's the God on earth part that really turns me on. Wow, I just admitted that you turn me on. How sexy.

MENSA Friday

Welcome to another addition of MENSA Friday. Last week's MENSA game was perhaps the greatest game we have ever had on Mitchieville, and I owe it all to me, The Mayor of Mitchieville. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank me for doing such a fantastic job. Great work me, I should be very proud. Why thank you, I am. Here are the answers to last week's questions:

First the man took the duck across, then he came back and took the fox over. He left the fox on the far side of the river and returned with the duck. He then left the duck on the near side and took the corn over. Then he returned and took the duck across.

1. The outside.
2. In the ground.
3. Chap 1.
4. On the head.
5. A leg.

Fergy, JayBird and possibly Ann answered the long question correctly. I say possibly because I can't figure if she's right or wrong. So I'm going to say she was right because women are soft and smell good.

Fergy answered 1 and 2 correctly. Mark answered #1 correctly. Jaybird got #2 right. Rob Huck got #1 and #5 correct. Genius X answered 1 and 5 correctly. Ann answered 1, 2 and 5 correctly, making her le grande champione.

Good job, Ann, I'm very proud of you. We're all very proud of you. Let's just say that I dedicate this day to you, the champion of Mitchieville. Please, take a bow.

You folks could stand to be a lot more like Ann. And I don't mean having the ability to fill out a sweater, I mean in the smarts department. I'm not disappointed in you, I just think you could learn a thing or two from Ann...who probably fills out a sweater very well.

Oh well, that portion of the show is finished, let's more on to this week's questions:

6. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his epic ride?
7. Would you rather a tiger attack you or a lion?
8. What is it that Adam, the first man, never had and never saw yet he left to his children?
9. What kind of dog, found in every country, has legs but never runs?
10. Where are all men equally good-looking?

I can honestly say that the words *who the hell knows?* fit into every answer this week. Maybe you'll have more luck than me, only time will tell.

I have my legitimate children tonight, so I'm going to be blogging up a storm, come by and join me if you can tonight and we'll drink copious amounts of booze and make fun of people. Date?

MENSA Friday Returns

It was Patrick Hillman's birthday yesterday, and I would have wished him a happy birthday yesterday, but the *new cool* suggests that it's in bad fashion to wish someone a happy birthday on their actual birthday, it's only cool to wish them a happy birthday the day after their birthday. Having said that, happy birthday, Patrick. In true Mitchievillian fashion, I suggest going to Patrick's site and wishing him a happy birthday. He'd do it for you.

MENSA Friday is back, can't you just smell the excitement? What? That's not the smell of excitement? Well, something stinks in here, and it stinks as bad as actual MENSA excitement. I wonder what the hell that stank could possibly be. Oh, hahaha, River Rat, you dog!

The last question I left you with was nearly impossible. It was a question that involved 12 balls, or something like that. Suffice to say, no one even came close to answering the question correctly. Don't worry, I don't love you any less. The last time we MENSA'd or MindTrapped, I was running a little contest. Relax, the contest is still on, I'm just going to run it for a few more weeks.

Butch was winning if I remember correctly, followed by MechEng and a few others were very close to matching the greatness of Butch and the MechEng. In other words, it's anyone's game.

Let's get started, shall we?

A man was traveling across the country carrying a fox, a duck, and a bag of corn, when he came to a river. There was a small boat in which he could ferry only one of the three items across the river at any one time. He could not leave the fox alone with the duck or the duck would be eaten. And he dare not leave the duck alone with the corn or the corn would be eaten. So how did he get all three across?

1. On which side of a cup is it best to have the handle?
2. Where do the biggest potatoes grow?
3. Who was the first man mentioned in the Bible?
4. Where did Noah strike the last nail in the ark?
5. What living thing has only one foot?

Riddle me that, MENSA-heads.

All questions are worth one point, and if you don't know a particular question, don't be a cheating scoundrel. Although, it is safe to say I like cheating scoundrels, there is no place for them when it comes to MENSA Friday. If I catch you cheating, I will not only deduct 3 points from your score, but I will kick you squarely in your funny spot.

Good luck, and may God go with you.

MENSA Friday

We haven't had a MENSA Friday is quite some time, I think I might have lost upwards of 95,000 readers because of it, and that saddens me like the death of a personal pet. Well, my sadness ends today, because MENSA Friday is back...for now.

I have four great questions today, guaranteed to please that outrageously sexy brain of yours.

Good luck:

1) David is half his father Duncan's age. In 10 years, David will be three-fifths Duncan's age. Ten years ago, David was one-third Duncan's age. How old are David and Duncan now?

22 and 44
16 and 32
20 and 40
18 and 36

2) Peter likes Susan but not Shawna. He likes Nancy but not Edith, and he likes William but not Charles. Following this same logic, will he like Roger or Chris? (it has nothing to do with the *H*)

3) What word can be found if one fills in the missing letters: S_ _ _u_p_ _ _ _i_n?

4) A word square is composed of four words that read the same across and down. The first word of the following square has been filled in for you. Complete the square with the missing three words using five E's; Four N's; two each M, A, D; and one S, in total (16 letters for the complete square).

M A N E
A
N
E

I need to invent *Penthouse Friday*, relating around questions that I actually have a chance in hell of answering.

Let's see who will take the reigns of *Mitchieville MENSA-Head of the week*, this week. Leave your answers in the comment box, and we'll go by the honour system from now on. If you have some or all of the answers, leave them in the box, and just don't look at the comments before yours.

Sound fair?

MENSA Friday

After a brief hiatus, MENSA Friday is back, and it's 3% better. 3% may not sound like an awful lot, and it probably isn't, but just by typing 3% into this post, I have managed to fill up two more lines of filler and added close to 40 words to this post. That, my friends, is what I like to call "MENSA smart*.

Last weeks MENSA questions were answered correctly by Richard Evans, who, BTW, has a good post up on his site called, "Why do we support the head choppers", Doug, and Lance, from Catprint in the Mash.

Last week, one of the questions I gave was poorly worded, yet despite this obvious mistake, Richard, Doug, and Lance managed to successfully answer the question with little bloodshed, and for that they will receive the medal of Honour and the keys to Mitchieville, along with a box of Tim Horton donuts.

Let's jump right into this weeks MENSA questions. Good luck, unlike your ex girlfriend, there is nothing easy about these questions:

A special dartboard has only eight segments. 1) The segments are numbered clockwise from the top as follows:

15, 3, 6, 4, 12, 5, 10 & 0

The number on each segment corresponds with its unique point score.

How many different combinations are there to score 18 on this dartboard using three darts only ?

Each dart lands in a segment and no dart falls to the floor.

2) The following words have a connection. What is it ?

ARCHIVE DILLY-DALLY

?

MESSAGE BAYONET

3) A caterpillar crawls at a speed of 21 inches per hour towards a vegetable patch. After being overindulgent it returns, over exactly the same distance, at only seven inches per hour.

What is the caterpillar's average speed over the entire journey ?

4) Pear is to apple as potato is to?

A) Banana
B) Radish
C) Strawberry
D) Peach
E) Lettuce
F) RyCrisps underwear

5) Peter likes Susan but not Shawna. He likes Nancy but not Edith, and he likes William but not Charles. Following this same logic, will he like Roger or Chris?

Hmmmm, if The Mayor likes the Little Danish girl, and Fenris like Linds, Sargon likes Addy but Carin doesn't like Bob Noxious, then who is going to impregnate Emily E? That's simple, The Mayor is. And then he's going to buy her something frilly.

These MENSA questions are getting easier every week.

MENSA Friday

Is it MENSA Friday again? Why am I asking you, it's not as if you're the one churning out these MENSA pearls week in and week out. It is MENSA Friday though, and we should all be glad that we made it through another stinkin' week without freaking out at the workplace and wasting hostages. Good for us.

Last week the Old Guy emailed me with all the correct Wordy Gurdy answers, that impressed The Mayor, it made me happy. The Old Guy has his shit together, there's no doot aboot it. However, as the adage states, "What the hell have you done for me lately?" With that in mind, let's get to some original MENSA questions:

1) The same word can be added to the end of GRASS and the beginning of SCAPE to form two other English words?

2) The same three-letter word can be placed in front of the following words to make a new word:

LIGHT BREAK TIME

3) What is the following word when it is unscrambled?

H C P R A A T E U

4) Continue the following number series with the group of numbers below which best continues the series?

1 10 3 9 5 8 7 7 9 6 ? ?

5) Two men, starting at the same point, walk in opposite directions for 4 meters, turn left and walk another 3 meters. What is the distance between them?

2 meters 6 meters 10 meters 12.5 meters 14 meters

That should keep your giant brains occupied for a few minutes.

I'm very impressed that there are so many Mitchievillians who play MENSA Friday, and get most, if not all of the answers correct. It just goes to prove one thing: Mitchieville is reserved for geniuses, and people who like to hang around geniuses. Either that, or you guys cheat like hell.

Either way, I'm eating steak and potatoes tonight, I refuse to let you kill my buzz.

MENSA Question #97

Welcome to another edition of MENSA Friday, I'm certain that you are going to enjoy this MENSA question, it's quite a tease this week. If you consider yourself only partially smart, you might want to skip this post and scroll down for some easier reading on the subject of skin conditioners. This question is for true MENSA-heads, folks that are so smart that usually they're pretty annoying to the rest of us non-MENSA-head smart people.

Regardless, I love you all, you are all my children. Except for Jerilyn, she's like a step-daughter to me, a hot, sensual, steamingly vivacious step-daughter. A step-daughter that I make wear teddy's around the house on the coldest of days, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.

Here is your MENSA question of the week. Enjoy:

If you add the digits of a certain two-digit number and multiply the sum by itself, you'll get the original number with the digits reversed.

Can you find the number?

That's not an easy question, at least it's not an easy question for me. Then again, I have never professed to be as smart as the folks who seem to answer these questions every week at will. God bless the smart folks, without them we'd all be living in trash cans and eating cats.

MENSA Question #75 Revealed

I know that this question dates back to January 6, but I've been such a busy boy lately that everything MENSA had to be put on the back burner. Now it's time to put it back on the front burner and reveal the answer in all its naked glory.

In case you just arrived here from a Google search of *Scarlett Johanson's breasts*, and have no idea what's going on, I post one MENSA question every Friday and let the good readership of Mitchieville rack their brains over the answer. Question #75 was a hard one, but someone who goes by the handle *Mad Hitter* answered it correctly.

To refresh your memory, this was the question:

A man is born in 1982 and dies in 1962 at the age of 35.

How is that possible?

There were quite a few interesting answers and theories, and when I say interesting, what I really mean to say is bizarre. How bizarre? Quite bizarre. Go root around the comment section and you'll see exactly what I mean.

The Mad Hitter had no problem answering the question correctly. For all we know he/she is probably one of those MENSA spies we hear so much about that go around various sites such as this one, showing everyone how blatently smart he/she is. Good job MENSA spy, good job indeed. And what was the correct answer?

I'd say they are numbers in a hospital.

And I'd say that you, sir/madam, are correct.

It all makes sense now, everything seems to fit perfectly in place. Now I can rest easy tonight knowing that the brilliant readership of Mitchieville have cracked an egg that had previously never been cracked. Christ, I need a vacation.

Tune in tomorrow for MENSA question Friday, it's going to be a doozy.

MENSA Question #23

I was playing Foggy Mountain on my banjo for a few constituents from the hills of Mitchieville tonight, when it suddenly occurred to me, right out of the blue, that the Friday MENSA questions have been somewhat weak lately.

Last week proved it, everyone seemed to get the answer correct. This week though, that changes. It's time to shift this into high-gear. This week I'm going to put the peddle to the metal and give you a question so hard that when you think about it, you will develop a migraine so bad that your Chinese Doctor will have to use *leech treatment* on you to cure you of your ills:

I'm thinking of a number that, when I multiply it by two and divide the result by four, then multiply the result of that by itself, gives me a number that, when I subtract four and divide the result by ten, gives me six.

What was the number I originally thought of?

Let me just borrow a NASA computer for a second and I'll get right back to you.

There you have it, let's see whatcha got.

MENSA question #37--Revealed

Hot damn, Mitchievillians are smart cookies. We had a few people who were all over last Friday's MENSA question, I'm very proud of all my little geniuses.

In case you're arriving late for the party, here's last weeks brain twister:

Find 5 animals in these sentences.

1. Give the imp a large brandy.

2. Have a holiday on a German lake.

3. Watch out for he suspects you.

4. Place the saucepan the right way up.

5. Make sure that it's level and true.

Scott, from LMNOP got question 1, 3, and 4 correct, while the Retired Geezer got #2 right, and basically got #5 right , too.

Doug, from parts unknown, actually got the correct spelling for question 5, and in this game spelling counts. Don't think it doesn't, because it does. Seriously. It counts.

The answers to the MENSA brain twister are thus:

1. Impala

2. Onager

3. Rhesus

4. Panther

5. Eland

Congratulations to all the folk who guessed correctly, you are obviously in a league of your own. For those of you slower Mitchievillians who didn't get any of the answers right, I'll post a new question this Friday for you. With any luck, maybe you can get your social worker to read it to you.

MENSA question #63

It's Fri with a *Y* day, the third best day of the week. If you're at work right now you're probably day-dreaming, day-dreaming about leaving work and frolicking in a meadow, or dreaming that you're on some beautiful Caribbean beach, or even thinking about leaving work and going to the Hard Rock Cafe and getting toastie. What lovely thoughts, however, it's not going to happen, sunshine, it's time to taste the bitter reality we call life. Smarten up or you'll lose your job, they don't pay you to day-dream, they pay you to be productive.

It's time to get your mind in shape, it's time for MENSA Friday.

Last week, Doug, from parts unknown, although I'm certain he's from Calgary, got the MENSA question correct. Doug is a smart guy, you people could learn alot from him. I suggest emailing him with any question you might have about any subject. If I know Doug like I think I know Doug, he'll be happy to spend countless hours a week helping you solve your petty and trivial questions.

This weeks MENSA question might prove to be somewhat hard, then again it might just be the easiest question I've given you so far. Time will tell, oh yes, time will indeed tell.

Let's do it!

A man was on holiday in Spain with his wife. The police were called, because his wife had fallen to her death from a 9th floor balcony. The policeman was suspicious after her had examined their belongings: he said, "I believe that this will be a murder case."

Why did he say that?

Very interesting, is it not? Are the wheels turning? Are you so curious that now the question is starting to eat away at your brain? Is the question so consuming that you can't think of anything else but a possible answer? Ya, sure it is.

Anyway, leave your answers in the comment box, and I'll check back periodically to make fun of your ridiculous suggestions.

This is the bestest Friday ever!