300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

Let's get a show of hands: Who among us is still into physical fitness after seeing that picture? That's what I thought, no one. Pass me a Twinkie!

This will be probably be the last Trivia Friday for a few weeks. Someone is on the verge of winning the contest, and Trivia Friday needs to put its head down on a big, fluffy pillow and have a little nap for a spell. It's for the best, the Lord spoke in my ear and told me to kibosh the Trivia game. That Lord, he's so down with the inner-city talk it's not funny.

Here are the updated totals of our Carbon Credit game:

Chris Taylor --3/3 = 290 carbon credits
Todd --0/3 = 220 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 265 credits
Dmorris--1/3 = 155 credits
Nancy 0/3 = 105 carbon credits
Linds 0/3 = 95 carbon credits <----- suppose to pop out child today!
Rhebner 0/5 = 85 carbon credits
Cudgel--0/5= 56.8481 carbon credits
Reg--0/3 = 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 3/3 = 90 carbon credits
Darren 2/3 = 85 carbon credits
Polska 0/3 45 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--0/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--1/3 = 45 credits
OMMAG 0/3 = 30 carbon credits
Dino 0/3 30 credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 0/3 20 Credits

Here are this weeks questions:

1) Captain Darren and Professor OMMAG played chess. They played seven games, each won the same number of games, and there weren't any draws or stalemates. How could this have happened?

2) If a grandfather clock takes five seconds to strike 6 o'clock, how many seconds will it take to strike 12 o'clock?

3) J. M. Heinrich's got out of jail and pushed his car to the St. James Place Hotel. When he arrived he realized he was bankrupt. How could this financial disaster be explained?

If the answer is *duh* for all three questions, then I have gone a perfect 3/3 this week.

Good luck to all the participants this week. We encourage all new Mitchievillian's to participate, including special needs players and limbless-Canadians.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

We are inching closer to 300 Carbon Credits and a giant prize extravaganza, it's just around the corner. And you know what else is just around the corner? The rapture. I suggest you make peace with our Christian Lord and start flying straight, as it stands now, I might be the only Mitchievillian to even reach the pearly gates. That doesn't bode well for you. Sinners.

In order to figure out the newly revised scores of the contest, we have to dial it back to June 6 when we had our last trivia game. I remember the day well. The corn was high in the fields, there was a gentle breeze on my cheeks, the sun was shining and a local radio station played happy songs with the word love in it each and every time. Those are what we refer to around here as the *good ole days*. Yes sir.

The answers from the June 6 trivia are thusly: 1) Never 2) Rainbow 3) Pink

Shocking, oui?

Here is how the standings have been affected:

Chris Taylor --2/3 = 245 carbon credits
Todd --0/3 = 220 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 210 credits
Dmorris--1/3 = 140 credits
Nancy 1/3 = 95 carbon credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Linds 1/3 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Reg--0/3= 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/3 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel--0/3= 53.18409 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--0/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/3 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 1/3 45 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/3 20 Credits
Dino 1/3 20 credits

For the first time since the contest started, Todd has been removed from the top spot and Chris has moved right in. Not only did Chris move right in, he took all of Todd's belongings, poured gas on them, took them to the curb and lit everything on fire. He also sang showtunes while doing it.

Let's get you three new questions, each with a value of 10 points:

1) I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?

2) Peter decided to walk to the local waterfall, 10 miles away. At the moment he started, his dog ran off from his side and proceeded to the waterfall at a constant 8 miles per hour. As soon as the dog reached the waterfall, it started the return journey to Peter, keeping to the same speed. The dog continued this odd behaviour until Peter reached the waterfall. If Peter kept to a constant 4 miles per hour, how far did the dog run in total?

3) At the annual dancer's ball a number of very experienced dancers performed their favourite dance with their favourite partners. Alan danced the tango, whilst Becky watched the waltz. James and Charlotte were fantastic together. Keith was magnificent during his foxtrot and Simon excelled at the rumba. Jessica danced with Alan, but Laura did not dance with Simon. Can you determine who danced with whom and which dance they each enjoyed?

I find that my copy and paste technique is pretty much unrivaled in the blogging world. I really should get a medal for that.

Good luck to all that participate this week. Even if you are not in the contest but would like to play, feel free to jump in and leave your answers. We love seeing new players, this isn't the Royal family, we have no intention on having relations with our sisters and brothers. Wow, you just creeped me the hell out.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

Another terrific prize has been added to the mix this week: an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* t-shirt? Well, I personally officialized it.

So, to recap, the winner of the 300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame will receive a giant bottle of the finest Mennonite maple syrup known to man (it really is some amazing stuff), a Tim Horton's or Starbuck's gift card, and an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* Mitchieville T-Shirt. I'm not going to explain that twice, try keeping up with the tour next time.

I've had a few of these shirt commissioned, and starting next week I will start giving them away for various reasons, through various games, and however else I deem it necessary to unload them.

Here are the answers to last week's questions:

1) 1= Jamie the Dalmatian
2= Sammy the Alsatian
3= Whitney the Dane
4= Jimmy the Poodle

2) 20 Miles

3) Upside down

And here is the new scoreboard:

Todd --3/3 = 200 carbon credits
Chris Taylor --3/3 = 175 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 165 credits
Dmorris--0/3 = 105 credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Reg--0/3 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/3 = 75 carbon credits <----- ready to pop out baby any second now
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrich’s 1/3 = 60 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Nancy 2/3 = 75 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 3/3 = 75 carbon credits
Polska 2/3 =60 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel--1/3= 45.739015 carbon credits

Man, is it ever humid today. What a humid day.

Where most games will tally the totals and place the ranking from first to last, we've decided at Mitchieville central to just list the scores and names of the person willy-nilly. We are big fans of willy-nilly, we think those two words are a laugh riot.

Let's have a boo at this week's questions:

1) A man and a boy who are walking together step out with their right feet first. The boy walks three paces while the man walks two. When will the both put their left feel forward together. Explain.

2) This natural phenomenon is always a full circle. If someone said to you they had seen one at high noon, they would not be telling the truth. As a matter of fact, it cannot be seen if the sun is at an altitude greater than 42 degrees, since no part of it would be above the horizon.

3) What color does litmus turn when dipped into acid?

Best of luck to everybody who plays this week. Man, it really is humid in here.

Oh, I nearly forgot, to catch up on lost trivia and a chance to propel yourself to the top of the leader board, remember to play Tuesday Trivia with Fenris, and What's in The Mayor's Lunch?

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

I was going to unleash a new prize this morning for the 300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame contest, but I think I'll leave it until next week. That will build up excitement as you will think in the back of your mind, "I wonder if it'll be a car, or a boat, or a pound of Victory coffee". I like when your imagination runs wild, you sound just like a little kid. And not your typical, mouthy little kid that's more like a little demon than a child, but a cool little kid, one that seldom opens his/her mouth and cries when he/she sees the belt come off.

The answers to last week's questions are thusly: 1) Windsor knot 2) Drag Queen 3) Shopping cart

Let's have a look at the leader board and make some sense of this:

Todd --3/3 = 155 carbon credits
Chris Taylor --3/3 = 130 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 120 credits
Dmorris--3/3 = 105 credits
Rhebner 3/3 = 85 carbon credits
Reg--2/3 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 3/3 = 75 carbon credits <----- ready to pop out baby any second now
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 3/3 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 3/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Nancy 1/3 = 45 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--1/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 2/3 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel--1/3= 30.214325 carbon credits

It's getting crowded up at the top, and in the middle, and at the bottom. If you are in the middle of the pack or closer to the bottom, fear not, any day now (not today or tomorrow or Sunday though--and not Monday for sure) we could, out of the blue, have a special question worth 100 carbon credits. You never know, and when or if we do, that will change everything. Possibly. Maybe. Hard to tell.

Here are this week's questions, love them, make love to them, make them your own:

1) Albert is a keen dog admirer and over the years has had a number of dogs. He has had an Alsatian, a Dalmatian, a Poodle and a Great Dane, but not necessarily in that order. Albert had Jamie first. The Dalmatian was an adored pet before the Great Dane. Sammy, the Alsatian, was the second dog Albert loved. Whitney was housed before the Poodle and Jimmy was not a Great Dane. Can you tell each of the dogs' name and the order in which Albert had them?

2) Peter decided to walk to the local waterfall, 10 miles away. At the moment he started, his dog ran off from his side and proceeded to the waterfall at a constant 8 miles per hour. As soon as the dog reached the waterfall, it started the return journey to Peter, keeping to the same speed. The dog continued this odd behaviour until Peter reached the waterfall. If Peter kept to a constant 4 miles per hour, how far did the dog run in total?

3) What is represented by this BrainBat?

E D O W N
D
I
S

This week, all correct answers are worth 15 carbon credits.

Good luck to everyone, the questions are a little harder this week, so you may want to grab a coffee or/and some hashish first before you sit down to play. If you are new to Mitchieville, feel free to jump and in and give it a go, we are an inclusive society here. We even let Australians play. Oy oy oy!

Friday Antonym Happy Fun-time Game

The picture is only disgusting if the ape is getting more that you are.

Since Franky exposed Friday MindTrap/Origins for the fraud that it is, I've done some thinking and have decided that in order to right the wrongs of those most-fraudulent games, I would have to take a breather from them, regroup, and come back with a game that is so good that it will literally make your head explode and your family scream in terror at your exploded head.

Unfortunately, there isn't a game in the world that will achieve what I am looking for, other than the game of shooting something into your skull and making your head explode while your family watches in horror. And truth be told, that really isn't a game it's more like murder.

This next game is a trivia game that involved a tremendous amount of copy and pasting. My Control C/Control V fingers are exhausted. Here's how the game works: I have selected a bunch of movie Antonyms. Your job is to guess which movie I have chosen from the lame clue that I have provided. Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.

Let's git 'er dun!

1. The Found Girls

Answer: (Three Words)


2. Unemployed Boy

Answer: (Two Words)


3. Fake Idiot

Answer: (Two Words)


4. Low Unfaithfulness

Answer: (Two Words)



5. Everything To Find

Answer: (Three Words)



6. Front To The Past

Answer: (Four Words)



7. Mother Gander

Answer: (Two Words)



8. The Wise Dawdle Out

Answer: (Three Words)



9. Worse On Alive

Answer: (Three Words)



10. The Good Alive

Answer: (Three Words)

As far as the winners were concerned lat week, we had a few. I like to call them *the chosen few*. The Chosen Few consist of Franky, the very pregnant Linds, the not-so-pregnant Donnah, and our Ozzy friend Tod (oy oy oy).

Imagine, four Smarty Panted Winners of the Week. I can smell a fight coming on.

I congratulate all the winners, to say I'm proud is an understatement. To say that I'm thrilled with your knowledge is an overstatement. To say that I'm craving Frosted Flakes is just about right.

Man, I really love Frosted Flakes.

Origins Friday

One way to determine if you have good neighbours is to get your car stuck in the snow outside your house and see who comes to help. This happened to me yesterday and I had two neighbours come over with shovels to help dig me out. One guy was about my age, and the other lady was about 65. Any time you have one, let alone two, people come by and help you shovel out snow, you're doing well.

Contrast this with the neighbours from my moms street. When my father was alive, he was the neighbourhood snow angel guy. He would shovel out every one on the street. If someone was sick, my old man was there in a pinch. My father use to shovel out both neighbours that lived beside him, just because it was a nice thing to do. Now that he's dead, do you think that either one of those two neighbours, who both have ploughs, would shovel out my 76 year old moms drive? Of course not, why should they, my father only helped them out for 30 years.

I hope you have good neighbours that aren't scumbags like the lazy pricks on my ma's street. I hope you help your neighbours out and they help you out. I hope you all grow old together.

The end.

So, have a good day and I'll...what? Right, you want some trivia questions.

Linds (Three or four time winner), Steyr (four or five time winner), and Nancy (Two or three time winner) were all winners again. And why are they winners? Because they guessed Giraffe, Pop, and Feminine products.

That is an awful lot of multiple winners. That is an awful lot of prizes I must now come up with in order to award them to all the special people with the giant brains that play this game. That is an awful lot of frames I will have to purchase so I can out their pictures in them and hang them from Mitchieville's Wall of Fame.

That's awful.

Anyway, I'm proud of you all, for thou art Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners' of the Week.

Here are this week's questions:

1) Superstition--This ancient superstition dates back to the days of primitive tree worship. Trees were believed to harbour protective spirits. It was believed that tapping a tree would summon the spirit who would in turn offer protection against impending misfortune.

2) Word--This word was originally used to describe the perimeter around a military prison. If an inmate attempted to cross this boundary, he could be shot dead. Today this word is more commonly used to describe a period of time in a which a given task must be accomplished.

3) Name--The original name of this company was the Computing Tabulating Recording Company. It started out by manufacturing meat scales and punch clocks. In 1924 it changed its name. Today this company's nickname is *Big Blue*, due to its reputation as being the bluest of all chips on the stock market.

#3 is a walk in the park, and I'm pretty sure I know #2, but I'll be damned if I can figure out #1.

Good luck to all participants, may the wind be at your back. As always, we welcome all new players, just jump right in an answer away.

Origins Friday

Some people say that chivalry is dead. I hope that's not the case, I enjoy being chivalrous, it does the heart good. I do notice however, the expression on the faces of old women when I hold a door open for them. Lately it seems, they are genuinely surprised that a man actually held a door for them instead of letting it slam in their face. That worries me, it's a man's duty to hold doors, no matter what feminist piggies say.

The thing I've noticed more than men not being chivalrous (or having manners), is women that don't say thank you when a door is held for them. That happened to me twice yesterday. Mind you, I never let an opportunity pass without reminding someone that manners are necessary in a civilized society. I also happen to be scary looking and rather large, so when I remind people to mind their manners, they listen.

When a woman doesn't say thank you when I hold a door for them, I always--ALWAYS--lean into them and with a louder than normal voice say, "YOU'RE WELCOME". 95% of the time I will get a "thank you", but then there are the 5%. For those people, I wait until they are 10 feet from me and make sure there are people around them, then I say even louder, "I SAID YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR MANNERS".

Usually they will keep walking, but my point has been made. Maybe that's not the right way to approach things, but I'm not Miss Manners, I only do what I can do. Why can you not feel my pain?

The answers from last week's trivia questions are thus: 1) The general ratio of boys to girls won't change 2) Coffin 3) Oil and vinegar don't mix so she could draw them out separately from the bottle

Emily (who must be at least a 5 time winner), rhebner, kton (hehe) and the Godless Commie were all winners.

To all the winners: Although today may indeed suck the fat one for you, this is still a great day. Maybe some homeless dreg will puke on your loafers and the snowflakes will make you cold as they fall down the back of your shirt. Even though everything will fall to shit today, you will always have the knowledge that you are Mitchieville's MindTrap Winner of the Week!

I'm so very proud of all of you. If you were here with me, I'd give you as firm handshake and a knowing wink.

This week I'm changing it up a little and going back to Origins. For those of you that aren't familiar with this game, I tell you whether you are looking for a word, name, or cliché, and ask you a question. Easy peezy. Let's git 'er dun!

1) (NAME) When seeing this animal for the first time, the Greeks believed it resulted from cross breeding a leopard and a camel. Accordingly they named it Cameloparalis.

2) (WORD) This word originated from carbonated soft drinks. A characteristic noise was heard when early style bottle caps were removed.

3) (Product) One of the trickier tasks of the century would have been marketing this product. Half the world needed it, yet nobody wanted to talk about it, least of all the manufacturer! To further compound matters, retailers wouldn't stock it, and magazines refused to run ads. It finally begun to sell in stores under the "Silent package plan". The customer picked up the unmarked package, dropped off their money into a box and left the store without uttering a word.

Those are some filthy good questions.

I'm starting a MindTrap contest next week. I'm working out the final details in the next few days, and should have everything ready by next week. I'm going to give out prizes and all sorts of fun and interesting shit to you. Consider yourself blessed, because that's exactly what you are. It is like an angel is sitting right on your shoulder, but you are not aware enough to acknowledge said angel. Good job, angel ignorerer.

Trivia

This is Trivia, but not Trivia/Mensa Friday. Although this is trivia, it is neither Mensa, nor Friday, nor both Mensa and Friday. Unless you read this on a Friday, but that does not count because the boundary condition of time is my time, not your time.

Last Week: In keeping with collectivist principles, awards have been awarded not according to merit, but need. Since I am the judge of needs (which sounds like a missing tarot deck court card), I judge that my personal driver, Blitz Smith, is the winner. He receives a two week inclusive cruise to the Mexican resort known as Club Paradise, which includes food, drink, whores, drugs, and ammo. Congratulations, Blitz!

This weeks questions:

1) What would be the blood type of the best donor of spare parts for Angelina Jolie?

2) In Astrology, what is a combust conjunction?

3) The skin from the area between the scrotum and the rectum was used by what famous Hollywood actor as a baldness cure?

4) How many meters of overhead concrete are required for adequate protection from overhead splinter bursts, according to the German Field Fortification Guidelines (Revised) of 1944?

5) At what stage in decomposition does the epidermis separate from the dermis? (Friends and Family of Red Tory cannot answer this one).



I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Your participating in this contest earns you an automatic privilege token, which gets you an additional packet of Instant Victory Coffee with your ration issue.

MindTrap Friday

I got that pic from my Campaign Manager. I find there's something slightly unsettling about about that little cartoon but I just can't put my finger on it. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I wonder why that is?

Andy was the Genital General Trivia Friday Smarty Panted Winner of the Week last week, making it 147 weeks in a row that he has won. Andy now eclipses the Huckaroonies total of 146 weeks in a row. Everyone that played last week did very well, but no one got the correct answer to #5. The answer was, *None of the Jessica's were banned from The Manor due to a yeast infection*. Every Jessica mentioned in that question are Princessess, and it sickens me that anyone could even think something otherwise. Shame on you.

We're changing everything up this week, we're turning back the clock and having ourselves a Hootaninnie MindTrap Friday. And instead of the 5 questions I usually ask, today I'm only going to ask four. That's right, four. Why am I only asking four and not five? I'm scared that if I keep asking five questions, you folks will become complacent, and I can't have that. I need my little Mitchievillian's to be fresh, full of pee and vinegar, all bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Let's stop fucking around and get right to it:

1) How could you give someone $63 using six bills, without using one dollar bills?

2) Dee Septor, the famous magician, claims that when he is in the far north, he can point his car north on an ordinary road, drive it for one mile, and without turning around, end up one mile south of where he started. How the hell did he do it?

3) If a wheel has 64 spokes, how many spaces are there between the spokes?

4)How long will it take to cut a wooden log into ten equal pieces if it takes one minute to make each cut?

HAHAHA, you'll NEVER answer those correctly, they're next to impossible.

I have one final question, but it isn't part of MindTrap Friday and it counts for nothing: If a man dresses up as a tree and goes into the forest, if he fell, would he make a sound?

Hmmmmm, chew on that for a while and get back to me, it's very important that I find out.

I hope you had a great week, there will be blogging eminating from this site all weekend I'm proud to say. If I was you, I'd forget about doing anything this sunny weekend, you should just stay at home checking Mitchieville every 1/2 hour. Yes, good times indeed.

BTW, has anyone seen MACCO around?

General Trivia Questions Friday

Imagine, George Bush stole that poor woman's dentures, he should be ashamed of himself. There is not a dirty trick in the world the GWB doesn't subscribe to, I'm maddened and sickened by the whole thing.

Last week we had two winners for Trivia Friday, Andy and Jason Huck. Andy has to share the spotlight with Jason this week, something he hasn't had to do in quite a few weeks. Perhaps Jason was so jealous of the fact that Andy got to help The Mayor construct a retaining wall last week that he put a little extra thought into his answers so he to could come to The Manor and help with various construction projects. Jason, you're dead on right, I'll allow you to help me with various construction projects.

This week we're going to build a dam, you lucky summabitch.

This week I have another excellent mix of trivia questions, I'm sure you will be thrilled when you read the questions, ponder them, and eventually put down the incorrect answers in the comment box. Let's do it, let's get started:

1) How many NHL franchises were there in California, by 1995?

2) What is the most widely eaten fish in the world?

3) What former Soviet newspaper had to depend on cash from the Greek Communist Party to stay alive in the 1990s?

4) Which will yield the most BTUs of energy--a gallon of oil, a pound of coal or a gallon of gasoline?

5) Which of these Jessica's was banned from The Manor in 2005 due to a nasty yeast infection that made The Mayor choke on his Salteen--Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Miller or Jessica Simpson?

Question 5 isn't a trick question, you have to search endlessly through the archives of Mitchieville to find out the answer, you may even be surprised.

I hope you have a great weekend, and as always, newcomers to the game are welcome, just leave your answers in the comment box and we'll judge you accordingly.

Liz Hurley Loves Her Son Deeply

Liz Hurley has been forced to withdraw this picture of her son off her website, after critics complained she was exploiting the little bitch boy for financial gain:

A bewildered little Damian —Liz's son with US millionaire Steve Bing—is seen sporting a vile neon pink swimming cossie in a campaign for Liz's swimwear range for kids.

Liz, 43, has been slammed for thoughtlessly humiliating the five-year-old in a "Milly Bikini" to help flog her £40-a-time outfits for girls.

The source added: "Liz suggested Damian pose in the bikini. Other people were uncomfortable with it but she insisted."

Dressing your young son in a bikini and having him pose for pictures to promote a bikini line brings up many ethical and moral questions. The main question has to be: Why aren't liquor stores open on Canada Day, what about the drunks, has anyone thought of the drunks?

After you wrestle with that question, everything else sort of falls into place.

General Trivia Questions Friday

Man, I slept like a baby last night. It's true, I woke up every two hours crying, I wet the bed and shit in my diapers like five times. Thank God for home care.

Last week we had quite a few contestants, but only one winner. Most people got every question correct except for the last one. The only person that answered every question correctly was none other than Andy. Their is a man with a head full of knowledge, I believe he is the reigning champion now for four weeks in a row. That's very impressive. If Andy wins this week he gets the honour of attending The Manor for a special service honouring him. And afterwards, Andy gets to help me construct a retaining wall in my backyard.

Andy, you are not only Mitchieville's smarty panted General Trivia winner of the week, but you get to help The Mayor work, drilling post holes and constructing cement walls for my new pond. Andy, you are one lucky son of a bitch. Yes you are.

Here are this weeks questions:

1) What Olympic aquatic event includes such positions as the Flamingo, crane and fishtail?

2) What food product did Hyppolyte Merge-mouries invent in 1868 by treating oils with hydrogen?

3) What did four million prisoners die mining for in Stalin's Kolyma forced labor camp?

4) What century did mathematicians first use plus and minus signs?

5) What movie's first victim was played by a skinny-dipping actress named Susan Backlinie?

Mitchieville's IT team did a bang-up job assembling those questions, I'm very proud of them. They are not only very smart, but they will be very useful when Andy and I build a retaining wall for my backyard this weekend.

Are you as smart as Andy? Are you as physically fit as him? Do you like construction projects and aren't afraid of a little hard work? Then General Trivia question Friday is for you.

As always, this game is open to everyone. Except Canadian Indians. Well, it is open for Canadian Indians, but just not today. Today is the Native day of action in Canada, which means that if you're First Nation, you get to walk around with guns, threatening violence and stopping trains from running and shutting down major highways for people that are going to work to pay taxes whch in turn will subsidize people from the First Nations. Boo whitey, you're all a bunch of slippery bigots. With fat wallets.

The Spice Girls Find Work

The Spice Girls announced today, or yesterday, or even possibly last month, that they are re-uniting for a series of concerts later this year. When the Spice Girls were in their prime, they wouldn't even look at The Mayor on a good day. Well, as fate would have it, I'm still 6', 200lbs of meaty goodness, and these crustaceans are 90 pounds heavier, 3 kids more haggard, and look like they are taste testers at a crack factory. Hell, I wouldn't even let the one on the left, the one with the big, plump titties lick the sweat off my left one. Actually, I probably would, but I'd have to be in one hell of a good mood. Whore spice.

George Michael Has Faith

Professional singer and full time cork smoker, George Michael, refuses to take an HIV test because...

he fears the result could come back as positive.

"George says he does not believe in tests. He says he finds the wait for results too harrowing and hasn't had a test since at least 2004 due to his fears it might be positive."

He doesn't believe in tests? Funny how the only people who have the nerve to say that are the folks most likely to die a shrivelled up prune.

On the bright side, what are the chances of a clean-cut, healthy young man like George Michael having AIDS? Hell, must be at least 5/2.

Suck away cowboy, it's gonna be a golden day!

Sinead O'Connor Finds Religion--As If It Was Lost In The First Place

Sinead O'Connor, that bald Irish douchebag who ripped up a picture of the Pope years ago on Saturday Night Live, is back, and has released a new CD of, wait for it...wait for it...wait for it....religious songs:

It contains within it a whole lot of songs, not only in the Psalms but in some of the books.

Wonderful. However, it didn't take long before O'Connor's interview with Beliefnet turned political. Here's her take on war, particularly the war in Iraq:

And anyone who says they're a Christian doesn't send bombs to kill anyone. The world has become a very frightened and frightening place. The existence of war is proof of the absolute lack of contact with God, and that is something I see as having got a lot worse.

To Sinead, the world before 9/11 was a much safer place--for her. The Jews may not think so, the Christian's of the Middle East and Africa may not agree, but in Sinead's cosy little world it was always sunny, flowers were always in bloom and children rode unicorns and frolicked in meadows.

If [the government of a country wants to go] to war, the people of any country should be asked and polled whether that is what they want, because they're going to be at risk.

Since the beginning of the war, both the US and Britain have had elections and GWB and Tony Blair both won, that's democracy, that's the will of the people. If a majority of people disagreed so deeply against the war, the elected leaders would be on the dole.

That's what has happened since Sept. 11--people all over the world have been put into a lot of danger by both sides, by Islam and by Christianity.

Really? How has Christianity endangered even one life? Are all coalition soldiers marching off to war under the guise of the cross? Interesting take, even Al Queda hasn't touched that one yet.

A Christian is supposed to say "What would Jesus do?" Jesus wouldn't be killing anyone and sending bombs on anyone.

And with a mighty wave of her wand, Sinead magically jumps into the brain of a dead messiah and tells the world what he believes. Is there nothing Sinead O'Connor doesn't know?

And to top it off, here is what O'Connor said when asked her view on the current Pope:

I don't know anything about him, to be honest. I actually couldn't tell you anything about him. I don't watch television because I've got four kids and they have the TV on the the whole time watching kiddie programs until 9 o’clock at night, so I don't get to see much of the world.

So the kids just sit, rotting away watching the TV from when they wake up until they go to bed. Good parenting skills you noxious bitch. Oh, and what do you think Jesus would say (WWJS) about you having four kids with four different fathers?

This is proof that just because someone says they have changed, you shouldn't always believe them. So O'Connor is singing religious songs now, whippy shit, it means nothing. All Sinead O'Connor has proven to me is that every time she opens her mouth nothing but excrement seeps out. She is still a whacked-out, loud, obnoxious troll who would be best turning into dust and just blowing the fuck away.

*Paris Hilton* Released From Jail

I saw this on someone's website and I thought you may be interested in it:

Before Paris Hilton was released from Lynwood this morning, her lawyer, Rich Hutton, slipped Harvey Levin a personalized sketch and note from the heiress herself.

I suppose the only question I have is this: Who is this Paris Hilton unit they are speaking of? I tried Googling her name today but I drew a big blank. It's a joke, right? There's no such person as Paris Hilton. Hahaha, good one, you had The Mayor going. I feel like a turd, you really got me.

Website with *Paris Hilton* (hahaha) pictures and words can be found here