Little Linkie Love

I'm going to start up MindTrap or some form of trivia again next Friday. Desperate Mitchievillian's have been emailing me for the last month or so wondering when MindTrap will be coming back. All I seem to have heard in the last month is, "When is MindTrap coming back?", "Why aren't you playing MindTrap any more?", "Do you have any idea where these disgusting bumps came from?" The answers to these questions are simple: Next Friday. We are, just be patient. Most likely from the Haitian prostitute you drove home on Tuesday.

I can promise you that you have never seen the Beatles quite like this.

As far as model planes are concerned, this is one serious son of a beeeeeatch.

Sure, the gay babies page is in pretty bad taste. But that doesn't mean you won't have a chuckle. Go laugh at the gay babies, they would want you to.

I'm pretty sure I could kick the crap out of every 10 year old on the planet, but then I saw this little Ninja maniac and I had second thoughts.

You have probably seen a few of these optical illusions before, but none-the-less, the page in question is still pretty decent with updated illusions.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

We are inching closer to 300 Carbon Credits and a giant prize extravaganza, it's just around the corner. And you know what else is just around the corner? The rapture. I suggest you make peace with our Christian Lord and start flying straight, as it stands now, I might be the only Mitchievillian to even reach the pearly gates. That doesn't bode well for you. Sinners.

In order to figure out the newly revised scores of the contest, we have to dial it back to June 6 when we had our last trivia game. I remember the day well. The corn was high in the fields, there was a gentle breeze on my cheeks, the sun was shining and a local radio station played happy songs with the word love in it each and every time. Those are what we refer to around here as the *good ole days*. Yes sir.

The answers from the June 6 trivia are thusly: 1) Never 2) Rainbow 3) Pink

Shocking, oui?

Here is how the standings have been affected:

Chris Taylor --2/3 = 245 carbon credits
Todd --0/3 = 220 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 210 credits
Dmorris--1/3 = 140 credits
Nancy 1/3 = 95 carbon credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Linds 1/3 = 95 carbon credits <----- VERY pregnant
Reg--0/3= 75 carbon credits
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 0/3 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Cudgel--0/3= 53.18409 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--0/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 0/3 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 1/3 45 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Dave (new player) 1/3 20 Credits
Dino 1/3 20 credits

For the first time since the contest started, Todd has been removed from the top spot and Chris has moved right in. Not only did Chris move right in, he took all of Todd's belongings, poured gas on them, took them to the curb and lit everything on fire. He also sang showtunes while doing it.

Let's get you three new questions, each with a value of 10 points:

1) I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?

2) Peter decided to walk to the local waterfall, 10 miles away. At the moment he started, his dog ran off from his side and proceeded to the waterfall at a constant 8 miles per hour. As soon as the dog reached the waterfall, it started the return journey to Peter, keeping to the same speed. The dog continued this odd behaviour until Peter reached the waterfall. If Peter kept to a constant 4 miles per hour, how far did the dog run in total?

3) At the annual dancer's ball a number of very experienced dancers performed their favourite dance with their favourite partners. Alan danced the tango, whilst Becky watched the waltz. James and Charlotte were fantastic together. Keith was magnificent during his foxtrot and Simon excelled at the rumba. Jessica danced with Alan, but Laura did not dance with Simon. Can you determine who danced with whom and which dance they each enjoyed?

I find that my copy and paste technique is pretty much unrivaled in the blogging world. I really should get a medal for that.

Good luck to all that participate this week. Even if you are not in the contest but would like to play, feel free to jump in and leave your answers. We love seeing new players, this isn't the Royal family, we have no intention on having relations with our sisters and brothers. Wow, you just creeped me the hell out.

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

Another terrific prize has been added to the mix this week: an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* t-shirt? Well, I personally officialized it.

So, to recap, the winner of the 300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame will receive a giant bottle of the finest Mennonite maple syrup known to man (it really is some amazing stuff), a Tim Horton's or Starbuck's gift card, and an official Mitchieville T-Shirt. What makes it an *official* Mitchieville T-Shirt. I'm not going to explain that twice, try keeping up with the tour next time.

I've had a few of these shirt commissioned, and starting next week I will start giving them away for various reasons, through various games, and however else I deem it necessary to unload them.

Here are the answers to last week's questions:

1) 1= Jamie the Dalmatian
2= Sammy the Alsatian
3= Whitney the Dane
4= Jimmy the Poodle

2) 20 Miles

3) Upside down

And here is the new scoreboard:

Todd --3/3 = 200 carbon credits
Chris Taylor --3/3 = 175 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 165 credits
Dmorris--0/3 = 105 credits
Rhebner 0/3 = 85 carbon credits
Reg--0/3 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 0/3 = 75 carbon credits <----- ready to pop out baby any second now
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrich’s 1/3 = 60 carbon credits
Darren 0/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Nancy 2/3 = 75 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--0/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 3/3 = 75 carbon credits
Polska 2/3 =60 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel--1/3= 45.739015 carbon credits

Man, is it ever humid today. What a humid day.

Where most games will tally the totals and place the ranking from first to last, we've decided at Mitchieville central to just list the scores and names of the person willy-nilly. We are big fans of willy-nilly, we think those two words are a laugh riot.

Let's have a boo at this week's questions:

1) A man and a boy who are walking together step out with their right feet first. The boy walks three paces while the man walks two. When will the both put their left feel forward together. Explain.

2) This natural phenomenon is always a full circle. If someone said to you they had seen one at high noon, they would not be telling the truth. As a matter of fact, it cannot be seen if the sun is at an altitude greater than 42 degrees, since no part of it would be above the horizon.

3) What color does litmus turn when dipped into acid?

Best of luck to everybody who plays this week. Man, it really is humid in here.

Oh, I nearly forgot, to catch up on lost trivia and a chance to propel yourself to the top of the leader board, remember to play Tuesday Trivia with Fenris, and What's in The Mayor's Lunch?

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

I was going to unleash a new prize this morning for the 300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame contest, but I think I'll leave it until next week. That will build up excitement as you will think in the back of your mind, "I wonder if it'll be a car, or a boat, or a pound of Victory coffee". I like when your imagination runs wild, you sound just like a little kid. And not your typical, mouthy little kid that's more like a little demon than a child, but a cool little kid, one that seldom opens his/her mouth and cries when he/she sees the belt come off.

The answers to last week's questions are thusly: 1) Windsor knot 2) Drag Queen 3) Shopping cart

Let's have a look at the leader board and make some sense of this:

Todd --3/3 = 155 carbon credits
Chris Taylor --3/3 = 130 carbon credits
Larry--3/3 = 120 credits
Dmorris--3/3 = 105 credits
Rhebner 3/3 = 85 carbon credits
Reg--2/3 = 75 carbon credits
Linds 3/3 = 75 carbon credits <----- ready to pop out baby any second now
Mech Eng--0/3 = 45 credits
J.M. Heinrichs 3/3 = 45 carbon credits
Darren 3/3 = 45 carbon credits 55 carbon credits
Nancy 1/3 = 45 carbon credits
Mr Fortner--30 Credits
Daily Bayonet--2/3 = 30 credits 30 credits
Fenris Badwulf--1/3 = 30 credits
OMMAG 2/3 = 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Cudgel--1/3= 30.214325 carbon credits

It's getting crowded up at the top, and in the middle, and at the bottom. If you are in the middle of the pack or closer to the bottom, fear not, any day now (not today or tomorrow or Sunday though--and not Monday for sure) we could, out of the blue, have a special question worth 100 carbon credits. You never know, and when or if we do, that will change everything. Possibly. Maybe. Hard to tell.

Here are this week's questions, love them, make love to them, make them your own:

1) Albert is a keen dog admirer and over the years has had a number of dogs. He has had an Alsatian, a Dalmatian, a Poodle and a Great Dane, but not necessarily in that order. Albert had Jamie first. The Dalmatian was an adored pet before the Great Dane. Sammy, the Alsatian, was the second dog Albert loved. Whitney was housed before the Poodle and Jimmy was not a Great Dane. Can you tell each of the dogs' name and the order in which Albert had them?

2) Peter decided to walk to the local waterfall, 10 miles away. At the moment he started, his dog ran off from his side and proceeded to the waterfall at a constant 8 miles per hour. As soon as the dog reached the waterfall, it started the return journey to Peter, keeping to the same speed. The dog continued this odd behaviour until Peter reached the waterfall. If Peter kept to a constant 4 miles per hour, how far did the dog run in total?

3) What is represented by this BrainBat?

E D O W N
D
I
S

This week, all correct answers are worth 15 carbon credits.

Good luck to everyone, the questions are a little harder this week, so you may want to grab a coffee or/and some hashish first before you sit down to play. If you are new to Mitchieville, feel free to jump and in and give it a go, we are an inclusive society here. We even let Australians play. Oy oy oy!

300 Carbon Credits To Fortune & Fame

We had a terrific response to last week's trivia, I couldn't be happier. We had quite a few people participate last week, and now those people are on their way to 300 carbon credits and the chance to win some fabulous prizes. Give the people something sparkly, Fenris, that's how we got Manhattan!

The answers for last week's trivia were--

1) Air force
2) Net
3) Sinatra
4) M & K
5) Oil

After some calculations, a bevy of addition, a few conference calls with Fenris and a meeting with UN officials, we have the first tally in regarding the leader board. It is as follows:

Todd 50 carbon credits
Chris Taylor 40 carbon credits
Rhebner 40 carbon credits
Linds (who is very pregnant, so no sudden noises) 30 carbon credits
Nancy 30 carbon credits
Reg 30 carbon credits
Polska 30 carbon credits
Frozen Tex 20 carbon credits
Darren 10 carbon credits
Cudgel .025 carbon credits
Anon 50 carbon credits (but all for nothing, I suppose)

If anyone has found a mistake in my calculations, please let me know and I will correct it immediately.

For those of you looking up Todd's rear, he may be leading now, but there are plenty of chances to catch his rear. Like What's in The Mayor's Lunch? that's a great opportunity to catch Todd's rear. Or Trivia Tuesday, that's another chance to catch and beat Todd's rear.

Today I have a series of riddles for you, each correct answer is worth 15 carbon credits. Good luck to you:

1) Throw it off the highest building, and I'll not break. But put me in the ocean, and I will. What am I?

2) I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I?

3) What kind of coat can only be put on when wet?

I never knew this before I typed out those questions, but over all, riddles are pretty gay.

I encourage those who haven't played before to start today. I encourage those that have played before to play agin. I encourage those that are unemployed to buck up and get off welfare and give us taxpayers a break. you know who you are, drug addict.

MindTrap Friday

A few days ago I dedicated a post to the contest I told you I was going to start today. I promised prizes and fun, excitement and jollity. Well, guess what? I can't start the contest today.

I know some of you are thinking in your head that you KNEW the contest wasn't going to start today, that you had a FEELING we wouldn't be starting today. Let me tell you something: that attitude of yours is unbecoming and I'm ashamed of you this morning.

Let's quickly run down my list to see if everything is ready: questions--check, prizes--check, excitement & jollity--check, pictures of the prizes stored on my laptop that's at work and I have to catch a flight to Vancouver in 2 hours--check.

That last line speaks volumes and The Mayor isn't happy. I'm not happy that the pictures I have of the prizes are on my laptop at work, but I'm pissed that I have to go to Vancouver--for the day--even more.

We'll do this thing next week, God willing. For now, I'll just announce last week's winners and give you a few lame questions to get you through.

The Daily Bayonet and Todd from Australia (oy) won again. Yup, nothing new, they just keep on winning. They are like the Maple Leafs, they just don't know how to lose.

To you, good sirs, I award you the Smarty Panted Winner(s) of the Week. Grammatically that was a doozy, but then again, if you are reading what I type on a daily basis, you are most likely use to semi-retardation by now.

We need questions, we need questions, we need questions to fill us up and send us on our waaaaaaaaaaay. Frank Sinatra, I believe. Forget that nonsense, let's git 'er dun

1) Two Dogs thought it might be nice to join the army, so he went to the local library to find a book on volunteers. While walking along the row of books, he sees one with VOLIX written on its spine. How should the title of this book be pronounced?

2) There are two books sitting side by side, each consisting of exactly 100 pages. The book on the left is upside-down. If you add the page number at the extreme left-hand side of the left-hand book of the page number at the extreme-right side of the right-hand book, what is the total?

3) Aaron owns a very valuable diamond that he keeps in a wooded box in his tent. The box is covered with a sliding wooden lid. Inside the box is a snake that has a poisoness bite so deadly it will kill a man instantly. Steyr broke into Aaron's tent one morning and within moments he had stolen the diamond. Steyr did not touch the snake in any way, nor did he wear any protection on his hands. After Steyr had left, the box was intact and the snake unharmed. How was Steyr able to remove the diamond from the box without any special tools or help?

I will be amazed if anyone goes 3/3 this week.

Good luck to all participants, and sorry for the cock-up, but I swear on everything pure that next week this contest will move ahead or my name isn't Reg...I mean, The Mayor.

MindTrap Friday

If I was to rate the participation level of last week's Friday Antonym Happy Fun-time Game, with 10 being Super-Dee-Duper and 0 being Rosanne Barr, I would confidently tell you that it was somewhere in the vicinity of Craptacular. Which isn't bad, but not good, obviously.

Out of all the chaos, and that's what it was--complete chaos--arose three winners last week. Those winners go by the handles of Todd (he's from Australia and most likely talk funny), The Daily Bayonet (who has a few posts up and running about global warming that will knock your socks off) and Janoosa--my friend from New Orleans.

Three winners, three beating hearts, three people who love and need to be loved in return. Three people with one goal that was achieved last week: To be Mitchieville's Smarty-Panted Winner of the Week.

In the Obak'u tradition, winners of any game or race stood upon a tree stump while the tribal elders spat in their collective faces. This was considered a great honour to the winners. I'd like to institute the Obak'u tradition, and honour you three Smarty-Panted Winners, by horking in all your faces. The Mayor is please with you, and I'm especially pleased with Todd, he may get a little extra this week, but don't be jealous.

This week we go back to MindTrap, the game that put Mitchieville on the Google map. BTW, whatever happened to Goodle, is it still around? Without further ado, let's git 'er dun!

1) There is a cage at the Proton City zoo that holds a variety of jungle animals and creatures. In this cage there are 11 heads and 20 feet. There are twice as many jungle creatures with four feet as there are jungle creatures with two feet. How many creatures of each kind are in the cage?

2) Cudgel had only $2, but he needed $3 for his cab fare home. Undaunted, he went to a pawn shop and pawned his $2 for $1.50. Cudgel then bumped into Chris (yes, from Colorado) and told him that he would sell him his $2 pawn ticket for $1.50. Chirs agreed. Since Cudgel started out with $2, and he ended up with $3, who is out the extra dollar and why?

3)Captain Rhebner went to the hardware store to make a purchase for his house. He asked the clerk, "How much will one cost?" The clerk thought for a moment and said, "Three dollars." Captain Rhebner, who looked a little puzzled said, "Well then, how much will twelve cost?" "Six dollars," replied the clerk. Captain Rhebner scratched his head and said, "If I were to purchase twoo hundred, how much would that cost?" "That", said the clerk, "will cost you nine dollars." What was Captain Rhebner buying?"

He's buying his freedom, no one wants to be a slave.

FREEDOM!!

Good luck to all participants this week. As always, we encourage new players to join in the fellowship that is MindTrap. Meet some new friends, develop a relationship online, meet your online love in person, contract his/her std, good job, you made a difference. Pervert.

Friday Antonym Happy Fun-time Game

The picture is only disgusting if the ape is getting more that you are.

Since Franky exposed Friday MindTrap/Origins for the fraud that it is, I've done some thinking and have decided that in order to right the wrongs of those most-fraudulent games, I would have to take a breather from them, regroup, and come back with a game that is so good that it will literally make your head explode and your family scream in terror at your exploded head.

Unfortunately, there isn't a game in the world that will achieve what I am looking for, other than the game of shooting something into your skull and making your head explode while your family watches in horror. And truth be told, that really isn't a game it's more like murder.

This next game is a trivia game that involved a tremendous amount of copy and pasting. My Control C/Control V fingers are exhausted. Here's how the game works: I have selected a bunch of movie Antonyms. Your job is to guess which movie I have chosen from the lame clue that I have provided. Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.

Let's git 'er dun!

1. The Found Girls

Answer: (Three Words)


2. Unemployed Boy

Answer: (Two Words)


3. Fake Idiot

Answer: (Two Words)


4. Low Unfaithfulness

Answer: (Two Words)



5. Everything To Find

Answer: (Three Words)



6. Front To The Past

Answer: (Four Words)



7. Mother Gander

Answer: (Two Words)



8. The Wise Dawdle Out

Answer: (Three Words)



9. Worse On Alive

Answer: (Three Words)



10. The Good Alive

Answer: (Three Words)

As far as the winners were concerned lat week, we had a few. I like to call them *the chosen few*. The Chosen Few consist of Franky, the very pregnant Linds, the not-so-pregnant Donnah, and our Ozzy friend Tod (oy oy oy).

Imagine, four Smarty Panted Winners of the Week. I can smell a fight coming on.

I congratulate all the winners, to say I'm proud is an understatement. To say that I'm thrilled with your knowledge is an overstatement. To say that I'm craving Frosted Flakes is just about right.

Man, I really love Frosted Flakes.

Origins Friday

Last week, I was informed by Franky, that the previous week's MindTrap Friday was no more than a farce. Franky was good enough to point out to The Mayor that it was Tom Hanks and not Woody Harrelson that was the voice of Woody from Toy Story.

Never in the history of MindTrap Friday have we ever had a colossal cock-up like the one we had last week. I'm ashamed, I'm mortified, but most of all, I'm not horny in the least.

Seeing as though Tom Hanks was the correct answer and not Woody Harrelson, I revoke the winnership of the previous winners and have put a stop payment on the cheque that was issued to them. Therefore, for only the eighth time in MindTrap history, there were no winners....two weeks ago.

As for last week though? There was one winner: Franky.

Typically, Franky would be entitled to a myriad of wonderful gifts and cash prizes. However, seeing as though Franky thought it wise to embarrass The Mayor in front of his constituents, Franky will actually have his personal property taken away from him. He will also lose three privileged tokens, and Fenris has restricted Franky's Victory Coffee intake to just one cup a week.

Sure, Franky is last week's MindTrap Smarty Panted Winner of the Week, but not without a cost. Congratulations, Franky, and sorry for your loss.

Let's face it though, Franky will know better next time not to call The Mayor out on things.

This week we are slipping back into the Origin's game. We've always had a good time with that, why wouldn't we this week? The answer is that we will have a good time this week. Man, I must be nervous, I can't stop typing.

Let's git 'er dun!

1) Invention--The first recorded use of this concept was in early Egypt. The original mixture was a combination of honey and crocodile feces. Whether it worked or not is open to speculation, but it certainly shows the extent to which people will go to obtain the pleasures, while avoiding possible consequences.

2) Name--The world famous American military corps, was once part of the British army. It was formed in 1740, in the present day territory of New York city. At the conclusion of the American Revolution, the newly formed nation simply adopted this branch of British military for its own.

3) Name--Under certain conditions, a shaved head is a prudent head. For years, military personnel, embroiled in combat, shaved their heads to avoid problematic head lice. This particular bird is virtually bald for the same reason. It is constantly poking its head into places that breed mites, lice, and other disease carrying bacteria.

Before you go guessing that the answer for #3 is Sandra Bernhardt, it isn't, please refer to my award-winning Sandra Bernhardt post from two days ago.

Good luck with those questions, and let's see what you are made of this week. Ya, I'm talking to you, Franky.

MindTrap Friday

I guess these guys like grappling because wrestling's a ball!

Over the nearly three years that I have been running Friday MindTrap/MENSA/Origins/Trivia, I have found out through exploration and some fine detective work, that MindTrap has always been the most popular (okay, my knowledge is strictly based on participation). Next in line is Origins, followed closely by MENSA and finally general trivia.

What does this mean exactly? It means exactly nothing, it is what it is. It is just an interesting note to make, and I'm sure you appreciate learning a little bit about the inner working of one of the most successful weekly games ever played on the internets. Mitchieville isn't always about laughs and chuckles, sometimes it's about the inner workings of games. Like today, for instance. Yaaaaa, moving on....

Last week we had two winners, no more and no less, just two. Pseudonym and Scott--who I believe is the same Scott that was Mitchieville's Finance Minister before retiring, so, if true, you should visit Scott, he is a great guy.

As usual, we have more than one winner, but only one cup to hoist. We need another cup. The way it stands now is rather uncomfortable, we have two men and one cup. Imagine, two men have to share one cup. Let me repeat: Two men, one cup.

And what were the correct answers from last week, you ask? 1. DMorris the Cat
2. Woody Harrelson
3. Richard Simmons
4. this is a guess "I"
5. Happy Gilmour

And with those correct answers, Pseud and Scott become Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week. Hoist that cup, boys, hoist that sumnabitch high. Man, those two men/one cup are smart as the day is long.

Let's MindTrap, shall we?

1) Picture three boxes containing fruit. The first box is marked cherries, the second box is marked bananas, and the third box is marked cherries and bananas. Each of the boxes is labeled incorrectly. How could you label each box correctly if you were allowed to select only one fruit from one of the boxes?

2)If you screw a light bulb into a socket by turning the bulb toward the right with your right hand, which way would you turn the socket with your left hand in order to unscrew it while holding the bulb stationary?

3) How can you physically stand behind your father while he is standing behind you?

Who will be the MindTrap winner(s)? Who has what it takes to answer all three questions correctly? Who likes to dress up in a skirt and sing showtunes? Yes, who indeed?

Entertainment Friday--So, It's Not MindTrap, But It's Still Trivia, So I Thought You Would Be Happy--You Are Happy, Right?

Not to sound like a blues song, but I woke up this morning and I felt as if I was coming down with a cold. I had all the classic symptoms: stuffy head, aches and pains, sore throat, big erection. But then I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup a tea, went into the computer room and sat down and poof--I feel like 3/4 million bucks.

I'm not sure what to make of that. Maybe our bedroom is diseasey. Perhaps I was just seconds away from a cold but I escaped its terrifying grip. Or maybe I'm a super-hero and am immune from the forces of disease. Ya, that sounds sexy, I'm ColdMan!

We had so many MindTrap winners last week that if we were having a parade and had to stretch out our winners by laying them down flat, head to feet, they would stretch out a good 25 feet. That's a lot of feet!

Look at this list and marvel at the brilliance that are/is the MindTrap winner(s). JustanotherJaybird, DINO, Polska, Todd--he's a foreigner! And Steamboat McGoo.

If We are the Champions wasn't the most over-played AND gayest song ever written, I would play that for you right now and announce that you folks are Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week.

However, seeing as though I detest that song, I will just announce that you are all Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week without the musical fanfare.

You pretty much know that after these guys take home the Smarty Panted Award, they are so full of confidence that they march into their house, grab their woman by the ass and throw her onto the bed and say, "Woman, suck my tit". And you know, that's pretty hot. Good on ya, mates!

This week we are taking a break from MindTrap and going with general entertainment trivia. However, the trivia won't be strictly about generals, but rather trivia *in general*. Sometimes it's hard to make that distinction, and I didn't want you feeling like a total tool.

Let's git 'er dun!

1) Who was the first feline featured in Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?

2) Who was the voice behind Woody, the cowboy doll in Toy Story?

3) What infomercial diet guru penned the monster bestseller "Never Say Diet"?

4) What's the first word of the most pop song titles?

5) What Adam Sandler comedy featured Bob Barker's screen debut?

It's hard to say, but I think that the winner of this game will have to get 4/5.

I got a solid 4, it was question 4 that threw me for a loop, I may be way off on my answer.

What say you? Do you have what it takes to stand on the same crowded podium as this week's winners? Give it a try, it's the only was to find out if you're smart, or, well, stupid. Better finding out from me that from some other guy that would mush it into your face.

MindTrap Friday

For the first time in as long as I can remember, there were no winners of last week's MindTrap Friday.

That really bothers Fenris and I, as we had taken a bit of money out of our operating budgets and bought some lovely gifts for last week's winner. We had lined up a trip to Bermuda, $2500 spending cash, a rental car, plus, a $5000 gift certificate to spend at any major retail clothing outlet of your choice.

Seeing as though we won't be giving these wonderful prizes away, we'll just donate them to a local charity. Perhaps the Fenris Badwulf School for Unwed Mothers. Now that's a worthy cause.

The question that threw everyone off last week was question #3. That's the question that involved a train leaving a station, yadda yadda. The correct answer was nine. I'll leave it to you to figure out.

Also, metal expands under heat, so, the hole would get bigger. Good job to those few who figured that out.

This week's MindTrap questions are tricky, but I'm sure you will enjoy them. Let's git 'er dun!

1) It is estimated that the earth weighs 6 sextillion tons. How much more would the earth weigh if one sextillion ton of concrete and stone were used to build a large wall?

2) "That Dailybayonet is one rich Arab," muttered Logan. As a matter of fact, he owns 100 or more camels." "Not a chance," replied Thunderballs, "I know for certain he owns fewer than 100 camels." Polska joined in, "Well let us put it this way, he owns at least one camel." If only one of their statements is true, how many camels does Dailybayonette own?"

3) A taxi driver, let's call him Todd (and let's pretend he's Australian), was called to take a group of passengers to the train station. The train station is normally an half hour away, but with traffic being extra heavy, it took a full hour and a half. On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it only took 90 minutes. Why?

If this was a game show, this would be the point of the show when some cheesy music comes on and I would wave to the crowd, possibly blowing them a kiss. However, this isn't a game show and I don't actually have any lips. That's another story and completely unsuitable for Easter. Let's just put it this way, I can only make sounds with a series of clicks.

MindTrap Friday

Considering the amount of participants we had for last week's MindTrap Friday, to have only three people emerge as the Smarty Panted Winners, is quite telling. What does it tell The Mayor? It tells The Mayor that there must have been one singular question that stumped the pool of players. It tells me that the pool in question, although filled with Smarty Panted like-minded peoples, is also filled with disease and rot. And there is only one way to rid a pool of disease and rot, and that is through the funky beat of disco music. This is the time at the Flea when we dance!

Steamboat McGoo is back, and he is on virtual fire. For if he was on real fire, well, quite frankly he'd be, you know (perished). But he's not, he's on virtual fire.

JonMas is also on fire and listening to the funky beat of disco music. As well, J.M. Heinrichs looked at the question, spit in their collective questioning faces and came up a winner--the crowd goes wild.

Steamboat McGoo, JonMas, J.M. Heinrich--I declare thou, "Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week".

You will receive the greatest prize any man/woman can receive: You get to gloat over the carcasses of those less intelligent than you. Imagine, if you will, you get to gloat, for one full week, over people that have always treated you badly and called you names (it's true, I have emails that say as much). These people treated you like they were a giant workboot and you were nothing more than a dirty scrotum ripe for the kicking. Well you know what? THEY are your scrotum for one week. YOU are the workboot of life--so let the kicking begin.

What were last week's answers? You can find them here.

Let's begin a new round of MindTrap Friday:

1) K Morris was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How can this be?

2) It is a well known fact that metal expands under heat, if you held a solid piece of iron, that is in the shape of a doughnut over extreme heat, will the hole in the centre of the iron doughnut grow larger, smaller, or will it remain the same?

3) Granny Greg was leaving Montreal, boarded a train at 4 minutes past the hour. After boarding, he stuck his head out the window and shouted to the ticket man,” How far are we from Mitchieville?" "All trains take 5 hours either way," he replied. "How many trains shall I meet on the way?" asked Granny Greg. "A train leaves Mitchieville at 5 minutes past the hour, every hour" answered the ticket man. How many trains will Granny Greg meet?

And with that, another week of MindTrap is in the books.

Good luck to all the MindTrap participants. If you have never played but would like to, this is as good a week to jump into it as any. Well, next week would probably be better, but who knows what is going to happen between now and then. Right? Exactly.

MindTrap Friday

I went to the bank yesterday morning to exchange a little cash into some American greenbacks, and the damnest thing happened. I went to the teller and asked him to exchange $150 Canadian for American--currently the Canadian buck is worth about $1.01.32 American. I knew there were going to be fees, so I figures I'd get a little less American than Canadian for the transaction.

So, buddy works out the figures and says to me, "that works out to $147.50 Canadian, is that okay with you?" Without hesitating, I looked him straight in the eye and said, "No, that isn't okay with me, I'd like the preferred rate". And this is the part that slays me, the little bastard looked at his screen, pondered, and then said to me, "Okay, how about $148.75?" I asked him if that was the best he could do and he said yes, there isn't anything more he can do.

Isn't that bizarre? I wasn't even serious when I said I wanted the preferred rate, those words just fell out of my mouth. However, had I not mentioned it though, I would have gotten some rate that it used squarely for farmers and tourists or something. Just something or you to think about the next time you exchange money.

We had a lot of participants last week, yet we only had two winners. Folks, I'd like to introduce you to dmorris and The Daily Bayonet. They are Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winners of the Week.

You may not have heard of dmorris before, but he's actually been to this site once or twice before, mostly under the cover of darkness. I hear that he hails from British Columbia and he seems like a decent fella. You all know The Daily Bayonet, he's been here thousands of times, leaving great comments, participating every week, and just being an all-around super dooper kind of guy.

Congratulations, I am so proud of both of you. If you were here with me right now I would squeeze your cheeks and say something to the effect of, "Momma so proud of you". And it's true, momma is so proud of you, with me being your momma.

As for this week, I am offering up four questions, MindTrap questions. You are killing the Origins, in a positive way, of course. You seem to need something harder, something that will stretch the limits of your gray matter. I have chosen four questions this week because I believe I have already asked one, possibly two, of these questions before.

Without further ado, let's git 'er dun!

1) A new medical building containing 100 offices has just been completed. Hardy Pyle was hired to paint the numbers. 1 to 100 on the doors,. How many times will Hardy have to paint the number nine?

2) I am a man. If Jason's son is my son's father, what relationship am I to Jason?

3) Something extraordinarily unusual happened on the 6th of May, 1978 at 12:34 p.m. What was it?

4)How would you rearrange the letters in the words new door to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

Good luck with that pile of crap I just unloaded on you, it will be fun to see what you came up with.

New players are welcome and even encouraged. Regular participants are cherished and admired. Basically, anyone who plays will be rewarded with riches beyond their imagination. That's if you imagine riches as not in a monetary form but in a verbal form from The Mayor of the 49th fastest growing community in N.E. Durham Region, Ontario, Canada, North America, The World, The Universe.

MindTrap Friday

I was at Timmy's yesterday ordering a steeped tea, and I was lined up behind two ladies at the counter. Just for the record, they were ordering coffees, donuts, and bagels with cream-cheese--they could ill afford to, but that's another story. They were both wearing long black jackets and, if I had to guess, were secretaries, or worked in a capacity similar to that.

Since they were in front of me, my view was of their backs. And it made me chuckle when I saw, that on both their backs, were dusty footprints--dozens of them. It looked as if someone took both ladies jackets and did an Irish jig on them with dirty shoes. It's funny enough to see one or two dusty footprints on someone's jacket, but honest to Allah (pbuh), there were dozens.

Playing Origin's won't get you stepped on, no siree. Playing Origin's will get you respect and adoration from fans, bloggers and commencers' alike. While you may not get stepped on, you may do some stepping on. YES, did you see how I brought that all around? That, my friends, is the mark of a professional blogger.

Jonmas, Reg, Andy, the pregnant Linds, rhebner, Polska, dmorris, JANOOSA (via email) and Nancy were all so very tuned in last week and are all declared Mitchieville's Smarty Panted Winner(s) of the Week.

While i can't give you an all expense paid vacation to the Carribean with $2500 spending cash (Fenris is very tight with city funds), I can offer you this: My congratulations. And when all is said and done, that's what really matters. Yup. A whole bunch.

Here are this week's questions--

1) Cliché--During the 1930's, this term was coined for use in an advertising campaign. The premise behind the term, was that regular use of their product each morning, would prevent this from happening in the late afternoon.

2) Custom--This tiny crustacean, the murex sea snail, has a spiny shell that contains a substance ideally suited as a base for dyes. This discovery was made by a Phoenician who turned this knowledge into one of the most lucrative trading goods. This dye was used to colour cloth and this colour was originally word exclusively by royalty.

3) Word--The concept of this outdoor bazaar originated in Paris, and shortly after spread throughout Europe. It was a collection of second hand clothing, curious and antiques at fire sale prices. The name suggests the merchandise would attract everything from paying customers to insects.

The second question is sure to cause fits, but I'm confident most of us will get #1 and 3.

Good luck to all this week, I look forward, as always, to all your answers. I also encourage anyone that has been straddling the sidelines to jump right in and play. We are a happy bunch of guys and gals that welcome all new players. Well, most of us are happy, some of us not so much, but overall it should be a great experience for you. Or not. I'm not Julie McCoy, this isn't the Love Boat. Pervert.

Origins Friday

Generally, on Fridays I like to start off Origin's with a little story. Little stories put smiles to your beautiful faces which, in turn, makes you a happier worker. A happy worker is a more productive worker, and a more productive worker puts more money into the Mitchievillian coffers. However, there will be no little story to happify you this week, as last week there were 10 winners, the most in Mitchieville history. Which means that I have no time for little happy stories.

Who are the 10 winners, you ask? I like the cut of your gib, or possibly jib, you like to get to the meat of the action. The Godless Commie, Steyr, OMMAG, Linds, Rhebner, JustanotherJayBird, Polska, mungman, Nancy and Andy.

10 Smarty Panted Winners of the Week. Multiple winners. Many, many winners. We don't have a podium big enough to put all the winners on this week. This is a great day for Democracy...and it doesn't even matter that the Godless Commie is here to celebrate it or not.

I've made this week's questions considerably harder, your collective depth of knowledge is hard for me to take:

1) Cliché: This expression of describing a particularly cold night comes from Eskimo folklore. During one of these cold nights, when bear skins and blankets were not enough to keep warm, it was a matter of survival to huddle up with the sled dogs.

2)Name: The name of this liquor comes from the Scottish, meaning "Water of Life".

3)Product: When this product was first launched in the low-calorie food section of the supermarket, sales were anything but instant. Rather than discontinue the item, the manufacturer placed it in the cereal section as a breakfast substitute. This product enjoyed market success ever since.

Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.

We will be starting the Origin's/MindTrap, Mensa/General Knowledge contest next week. I know I have been promising this for some time, but Fenris has finally secured the financing, and we're online, to use a technical term you may have never heard before.

Good luck to this week's participants, everyone is welcome to play. Even commies, like the Godless Commie. He's welcome to play. Bloody commie.

Origins Friday

Some people say that chivalry is dead. I hope that's not the case, I enjoy being chivalrous, it does the heart good. I do notice however, the expression on the faces of old women when I hold a door open for them. Lately it seems, they are genuinely surprised that a man actually held a door for them instead of letting it slam in their face. That worries me, it's a man's duty to hold doors, no matter what feminist piggies say.

The thing I've noticed more than men not being chivalrous (or having manners), is women that don't say thank you when a door is held for them. That happened to me twice yesterday. Mind you, I never let an opportunity pass without reminding someone that manners are necessary in a civilized society. I also happen to be scary looking and rather large, so when I remind people to mind their manners, they listen.

When a woman doesn't say thank you when I hold a door for them, I always--ALWAYS--lean into them and with a louder than normal voice say, "YOU'RE WELCOME". 95% of the time I will get a "thank you", but then there are the 5%. For those people, I wait until they are 10 feet from me and make sure there are people around them, then I say even louder, "I SAID YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR MANNERS".

Usually they will keep walking, but my point has been made. Maybe that's not the right way to approach things, but I'm not Miss Manners, I only do what I can do. Why can you not feel my pain?

The answers from last week's trivia questions are thus: 1) The general ratio of boys to girls won't change 2) Coffin 3) Oil and vinegar don't mix so she could draw them out separately from the bottle

Emily (who must be at least a 5 time winner), rhebner, kton (hehe) and the Godless Commie were all winners.

To all the winners: Although today may indeed suck the fat one for you, this is still a great day. Maybe some homeless dreg will puke on your loafers and the snowflakes will make you cold as they fall down the back of your shirt. Even though everything will fall to shit today, you will always have the knowledge that you are Mitchieville's MindTrap Winner of the Week!

I'm so very proud of all of you. If you were here with me, I'd give you as firm handshake and a knowing wink.

This week I'm changing it up a little and going back to Origins. For those of you that aren't familiar with this game, I tell you whether you are looking for a word, name, or cliché, and ask you a question. Easy peezy. Let's git 'er dun!

1) (NAME) When seeing this animal for the first time, the Greeks believed it resulted from cross breeding a leopard and a camel. Accordingly they named it Cameloparalis.

2) (WORD) This word originated from carbonated soft drinks. A characteristic noise was heard when early style bottle caps were removed.

3) (Product) One of the trickier tasks of the century would have been marketing this product. Half the world needed it, yet nobody wanted to talk about it, least of all the manufacturer! To further compound matters, retailers wouldn't stock it, and magazines refused to run ads. It finally begun to sell in stores under the "Silent package plan". The customer picked up the unmarked package, dropped off their money into a box and left the store without uttering a word.

Those are some filthy good questions.

I'm starting a MindTrap contest next week. I'm working out the final details in the next few days, and should have everything ready by next week. I'm going to give out prizes and all sorts of fun and interesting shit to you. Consider yourself blessed, because that's exactly what you are. It is like an angel is sitting right on your shoulder, but you are not aware enough to acknowledge said angel. Good job, angel ignorerer.

MindTrap Friday

I'm curious as to whether any of you other blogger types have experienced a readership downturn the last few weeks. I'm curious because I see that Mitchievillian readership seems to have gotten flat since about the second week of January. Winter blahs? Perhaps the internets is broken? Suicide at an all-time high? A combination of the three? Maybe it's just Mitchieville? Can I ask six consecutive questions and still retain your attention?

We had so many Smarty Panted Winners last week that I am going to have to construct a whole new Wall of Fame to accommodate all the new framed winners that I will be displaying this week. How many winners were there, you ask? Was there two winners? Three winners? Four hundred and seventeen winners? Yes, there were 417 winners. Now how about this: How about you start getting a grip on yourself a little bit tighter. You sound as if you're coming unglued. 417 winners. Sheesh.

The Godless Commie was a winner. Rhebner was a winner. Emily was a winner. Robert (who I believe played for the first time) was a winner. Enig-Mac was a winner. Polska (another first time player) was a winner.

Six winners. That is incredible. I'm sure if you could harness the brain-power of those six winners, you would have enough power to run my ITouch for a month.

Congratulations to the Fabulous Six, you are the Smarty Panted Winners of the Week.

It's too bad I couldn't have some kick-ass parade music start when I announce the whole smarty panted thing. But alas, we don't have the technology to engage in something so far-fetched as that.

Ready for this week's questions? Let's git 'er dun!

1) Governor Mugs loved the sight of women so much that he decided to pass a law that would ensure the birth of even more females. The law he decreed stated that every couple was to have children until they had a boy, and then they were to stop producing. What effect would this have on the proportion of males and females to the population?

2) The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it, and the user doesn't see it. What is it? (the answer is NOT Rosie O'Donnell's Big Mac and Large fries)

3) When Mama Emily boils pasta she adds three drops of oil and two drops of vinegar to the water. While at the market Emily accidentally dropped and broke the vinegar bottle. Undaunted she instructed the shopkeeper to put both the oil and the vinegar in the same jar. How could Emily pour exactly three drops of oil and two drops of vinegar into the water using just one bottle?

And with that, another MindTrap Friday comes to a close. Always the saddest part of early Friday morning between 6am and 8:30am.

Good luck to all that play, and remember, new players are welcome. Just jump on in and leave your comment in the appropriate spot. The comment section would be that appropriate spot.

MindTrap Friday

The credit card bills are starting to roll in from Christmas, it's not the most wonderful time of the year. It's always at this time of the year that my regrets, yes, I've had a few, start coming on hot and heavy. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten mom that gold plated 40 cup coffee maker. In retrospect, maybe it was a bad idea to give the mailman a $500 gift certificate to Casey's.

Now it's time to pay the piper. Which means, now it's time to hold up a convenience store. Only problem is that convenience stores have less money than I do. I guess I'll have to do what I do every year: On the credit card bills, there's a space where you are suppose to fill in with the amount of your total payment. I suppose I'll just write in, "Eff you", and be done with it.

Last week's MindTrap Friday worked out very nicely. There were plenty of players, fun was had by over 74% of you, and one of the questions posed was rather tricky, which made for interesting, fun and most importantly, edumacational, times.

Here are last week's answers:

1) Thursday

2) A hole

3) The water level would fall

I know that most of you thought you nailed those questions like a hopped-up sailor on a hooker in a port somewhere in the Philippines, but that wasn't the case at all. We did have a few winners though, and their names are something like this...

Enig-Mac (who I believe is a multiple winner now) and CanuckJack. I had to look over OMMAG's answer thirty-five times thanks to his anti-matter comment, but the quasi-judicial panel ruled against him. sorry.

So, when all the crying is over and the dust has settled, Mac and CanuckJack are Mitchieville's MindTrap Friday Smarty Panter Winners Of The Week.

It's pretty incredible that CanuckJack, a newby to Mitchieville, can prance in here like he's cock of the walk and run away with the coveted smarty panted prize. That should be word to anyone thinking of playing MindTrap Friday for the first time. You can be a giant wiener just like CanuckJack. Oh, and Mac.

Congratulations, Mac and Jack, you're MindTrap winners and that's a fact. You are nothing short of a pack of whack, you give The Mayor a happy attack.

Here are this week's questions:

1) There is a cage at the *Electron City Zoo* that contains both peacocks and wild pigs. If there is a total of 30 eyes and 44 feet, how many of each are in the cage?

2) Captain Bumf was passing through a small town when he decided to get a haircut. There was only one barber shop in town, and it employed two barbers. One of the barbers had a nice, neatly trimmed head if hair, and the other looked like his hair had been cut with a pair of hedge clippers. Which of the two barbers should Bumf choose to cut his hair?

3) Dr. Richard Evans, the famous magician, claimed to be able to throw a ping-pong ball so that it would go a short distance, come to a dead stop, and then reverse itself. He also added that he would not bounce the ball against any object or tie anything to it. How could he perform this feat?

And that, as they say in showbiz, is a wrap. Or a rap. Whichever, I'm eating steak tonight.

So there you have it, three questions that are sure to stretch the inner-workings of your brain. Good luck to all, and as usual, any and all are encouraged to participate in MindTrap.

MindTrap Friday

The comments from last weeks MindTrap Friday were the best I have read in the nearly three years I have been posting MindTrap Friday. I laughed so hard that a trickle of blood actually ran down Fenris' eye.

I'm very late posting this week's questions, I had a very long day, combined with a massive migraine and a cold that just won't go away. Not to mention that my dog ran away, my basement flooded and I'm pretty sure I might have pink eye. Things will improve greatly when my busted arm heals and I get my car out of the shop.

Anyway, enough about my sexy life, this isn't about me, this is all about you. Damn, you people are a little bit of special.

Here are last weeks amazing answers:

1) Mirror

2) Miss Nancy simply gave nine children a cracker and the tenth child received the jar with the last cracker in it.

3) The River Rat was driving a motorcycle

How many people answered all three of those questions correctly? Many people. Many, many people.

People such as:

Robert
Nancy
Steamboat McGoo--who is on fiiiiire
Just Another Jaybird

Imagine, this week I will have to get four frames to put the four pictures of the four winners on the walls on Mitchieville City Hall to celebrate their greatness. You four are Mitchieville's smarty Panted Winners Of The Week.

With winning comes great rewards. However, since I only give out one prize a week, I can't very well split the prize into four, therefore, all of you will receive nothing but my astonishment at how incredibly smart, and possibly brave, you are.

Congrats, Smarty Panted Winners!

Here are this week's questions:

1) When the day after tomorrow is yesterday, today will be as far from Wednesday as today was from Wednesday when the day before yesterday was tomorrow. What is the day after this day?

2) Kton was cleaning out his old barn. He was dragging things out into the yard and filling containers with useless items he had collected over the years. At one point, he rolled an old barrel out of the barn which weighed 20 kilos. Kton put something in the barrel and when he was finished, it weighed less. What could it have been?

3) While lounging in the bathtub the Godless Commie decided to play with his 2 foot long plastic boat, which was filled with metal nuts and bolts. While playing, he accidentally tipped the boat over, dumping the contents into the water. With the nuts and bolts in the water, will the water level in the bathtub rise, fall or stay the same as it was when the nuts and bolts were in the boat?

That'll give you something to chew on for the next few days.

Good luck to all who participate, and remember that even if you have never participated before, you are more than welcome to give 'er a go.

Now, let's get at 'er!