Stop Harper

TORONTO - Shocking news of the oppressive police tactics promoted by the earth hating Conservatives and their heteronormative leader, Stephen Harper.

Apparently, police are now employing packs of free ranging dogs to seek out and attack criminals in high crime areas of the city. Police spokesman claim that the dogs are trained to co-operate in groups (kamphgruppe) and are incapable of violating civil liberties.

We talked to several people in the Cataraqui street area, a quiet suburban street just off Warden that is the location of several social housing developments.


ShakaZulu is a Professor of English at York University.

Wha' th' f'k? F'k dawg done y' mah ro'k. F'k muthaf'k'r. He said when we interviewed him at the local convenience store where he had stopped in to buy tin foil, lighters, and baking soda.

Apparently, a pack of police dogs had appeared out of the adjacent Warden Woods park and savagely attacked Professor ShakaZulu as he was out for his morning spiritual religious rituals. They stole his pipe, a bag of powdered medication, and some two hundred dollars in money.

F'k. Mutha'f'k'r. Pop th't beyotch 'n sh't f'k'n sh't. He said, expressing dismay and disgust at the lack of social spending on after school programs for troubled youth and inadequate funding for welfare housing initiatives.

Harmonia 'Big Momma' is a Fact Checker for the CBC and runs a Racism-Free Day Care at the Cataraqui Welfare Village Peoples Center.

Those horrible police dogs keep following me everytime I go outside. There must be twenty of those hell-hounds. They are from the planet Xeno. I cannot smoke angel dust outside, now. I have to do it inside in the nursery school. Those dogs attacked my connection, Heavy P and ate the herb and the money. I hate the police. My guiding voices tell me that Stephen Harper sent them.

On Cataraqui street, a spontaneous protest happened today with over five hundred thousand protesters protesting the use of free-range police dogs, global warming, inadequate social spending, and calling for the immediate resignation of Stephen Harper and unilateral disbanding of the Metro Police.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. ShakaZulu factchecked every fact that could be checked for factual checkedness.