Chris Martin Sings About Mariah Carey's Breasts

When a reporter asked Chris Martin (Coldplay) if he thought that Mariah Carey's album was a threat to him, his response was:

"She's not, but one of her boobs is," before singing: "Mariah Carey's boobs are so nice, and she don't mess around / If she had been aboard the Titanic there's no way that ship would have gone down."

I see that Chris Martin is as talented as ever.

I have a little ode to Chris Martin:

Instead of singing 'bout Mariah's rack,
You might want to invent some good songs, you two-bit hack,
You look like shit, you should grab a shower,
You're filthy dirty and you probably smell like feet.
Your wife is a loud-mouthed anti-American hag,
And you just named your kid Moses, you stupid dick.

Fine, it wasn't an ode, it was more of a rant. But I'll be damned if it wasn't the truth spoken directly to me by the Lord Jesus Christ himself.

Sue me.

Chris Martin is in Coldplay, therefore, he's gay