Rosie O'Donnell Is A Smelly Drunk

Okay, I'm not sure if she smells, but I figure that's a pretty safe assumption. Rosie O'Donnell admitted on her website today that she's a filthy drunk but is trying hard to quit drinking:

The moon-faced comic made the confession on her blog after telling one fan she'd shed pounds by giving up beer. That prompted another fan to ask, "So, Rosie, alcoholic or not? Just spit it out! Don't go all Star Jones on us here. What led to you stopping the beer? You'll only help someone else." To which O'Donnell admitted: " 'Cause I was drinking too much, 'cause I didn't want to any more, 'cause it is hard to lose weight when drinking, 'cause I can never have only one."

It's not the sauce that's making Rosie gain weight, it's the gravy. I'm sure the booze has something to do with her weight, but I'm positive so does eating chocolate bacon and washing it down with a cheese burger and num num num, a dozen donuts.

I never knew Rosie was a bad drunk, I always thought she was just a shitty sober person. I always figured she was bitchy because TV execs wouldn't let her gnaw on a rack of lamb when she was on TV. I always thought she quit The Phew because she wasn't allowed to eat the guest stars. However, knowing she's a drop-down drunk puts everything into perspective. About what, I'm not sure, but one thing will always remain the same, she's a real douchebag.

Rosie Redeye