Valentine's Day--One Week To Go

Valentine's is now less than a week away, yet another occasion to fill the coffers of Big Greeting Card. Man, Big Greeting Card doesn't resonate the same as Big Oil or Big Pharm, but none-the-less, it's time to start thinking about what to get your loved one. You really struck out with what you gave your lover last year, don't let that happen again. What, you don't remember what you got them? I'll give you a hint: It rhymes with clap. Oh, hahaha, sorry, it actually was clap. You so bad.

I can't tell you what or what not to give to the person you so affectionately call *Lover face*, but I can tell you this: You are nearly out of time. Do not fuck up this year. The old standby are flowers and chocolate, and no matter what any numbskull on the tube or internets tells you, it's a great gift...except if you're a guy.

Guys are easier to get Valentine gifts for. The only thing you ladies have to do is buy a tee shirt and have the words "Open for business" stamped on it with an arrow pointed south towards your groinial region and you've pretty much covered Valentine's, Easter and possibly his birthday.

So, good luck with that.