Stephen Harper Is A Coward

Today in Halifax, Nova Scotia, our Prime Minister cowardly announced that Canada will spend $3.1 billion to refit and modernize our 12 Halifax Class Frigates. How will spending $3.1 billion on these puny ships strike fear into the heart of our enemies? Russia, China, the United States – they all have Aircraft Carriers, Guided Missile Cruisers and ruthless, aggressive leaders. Canada needs to project some serious sea power. Canada needs Battleships.

Whatever happened to the great ships of war like HMS Canada ? Why won’t Canada's New Government build a fleet of five new ice breaking capable double-hulled nuclear powered battleships to protect the Canadian North? A broadside of twelve 14 inch cannons from the decks of our mighty dreadnaughts would surely make the Yankee bastards cede the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and the vast oil reserves contained underneath to Canada. The meat from the collaterally damaged Caribou from that broadside can then be used to feed the sailors of our battle fleet. With free caribou meat and an endless supply of nuclear powered energy our marauding monitors could stay at sea forever! Does anyone seriously think the dastardly Danes would ever try to take Hans Island again knowing that our dreadnaughts are aboot in the North West Passage? I think not.

My Canada includes big ass battleships. I, Suvorov, have saved Canada's New Government thousands of dollars in funding and research money by arbitrarily naming our new series of ships in a culturally sensitive and quintessentially Canadian manner. These names will surely strike fear into the hearts of the foreign evildoers who covet our subterranean arctic diamond reserves. Our ships, the HMSC Denny Doherty; HMCS Hank Snow; NCMS Felix Leclerc, HMCS Walter Ostinek, and HMCS Stan Rogers will strike fear into the hearts of all who see their wake. The money saved by me selflessly doing this for our nation can now be used to purchase nuclear tipped 14 inch cannon shells for our ships. Take that Taliban Jack!


The waters and land of the Canadian Artic (according to the Minister of National Defence this is an alternate spelling of Arctic) belong to Canada. Our battleships would preserve our arctic sovereignty for generations and give our country a seat at the table of aggressor nations for decades to come, not that Harper seems to care. Thankfully for you Canada, I do.

I, Suvorov, have posted this because Stephen Harper is a coward. Show your bravery by sending Fenris your money and lots of it - Battleships ain’t cheap.