Re writing History

The solid facts that float in the sea of Political Correctness are often questioned by those who are stupid. It is the role of progressive activists to change the facts, to re-write history.

The Liberation of England by William, Duke of Normandy. Incorrect interpretation of this historical event has its roots in contemporary chroniclers who witnessed the events. They are so off the mark, that I have ordered the moving of these biased works to the secret archives of The Mitchieville Public Library. Superior contempory works are being written by dedicated activists. And now, you can help in this great work to make history more palatable to activists, academics, and journalists. Why not just re-write the Bayeux tapestry? (*)

Flaws found in the tapestry:

Disproportionate emphasis on Catholicism. We cannot have that. There are over four hundred Christian denominations celebrated today, but none are mentioned in the tapestry. Where are the Jehovah's Witnesses? What would Duke William of Normandy say to them when they came to his door? Where are the First Nations activists, staging roadblocks to highlight injustice? How would the Normans settle these land claims? And, what about Global Warming? A few facts about how the people of the Dark Ages handled carbon credits would be comforting. Duke William of Normandy was a kind man, who celebrated diversity and listened to dissenting views (*).

History also shows an incredible lack of perspective in not interpreting past cultures in light of modern sentiments. Take the social leader Fulk the Third of Anjou, for example (*). Like any socially responsible person, Fulk was disadvantged at an early age by lack of social spending to carry him through the death of his father and the subsequent civil war that erupted over his legitimate land claims. Fulk of Anjou is a victim. Where are the historians wringing their hands? Fulk celebrated the cultural norm of 'women as property' by having his adulterous wife burnt at the stake. The brutal Catholic church actively suppressed this quaint custom, which fit into their general agenda of genocide (as witnessed by the fascist Innocent III's opposition to Trial by Combat (*) and Trial by Ordeal (*) at the Fourth Lateran council).

Set the clock back to a time when there was no Global Warming. Activists and progressives want to live in the happy times of Fulk and William. The Dark Ages celebrated a blissful time when people lived close to the earth and did not pollute the earth with industrial poisons. By re-writing history, we can convince more taxpayers to become taxspenders, and more taxspenders to taxspend more. It is up to you, activists. Tell people what they want to hear. Be angry in the face of contradictory facts. Emotions are more important than reason.


I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this at Mitchieville and DustMyBroom.