FACE to FACE (a rant by Reg)

I’m not sure what to make of this Facebook phenomenon sweeping the internet. Conventional wisdom has that Facebook will be around forever. I’m not so sure. Like past fads such as writing letters, calling someone on the phone or, according to the latest reports, blogging (gasp), will Facebook burn out or will it merely fade away?

I’m lucky to have good friends, friends that have been with me one way or another for over 20 years now. We keep in contact, an email here and there, maybe a phone call every once and while. As for my closest friends I hear from them all of the time, the ultimate pleasure being a night of cards. It takes work to keep a friendship going and as we go through life it is inevitable that we will all lose as many friends as we make.

The internet, created by Algore (I couldn’t resist) was initially created to keep government agencies and the like across the world connected after a nuclear war. The internet is an incredible tool that some one billion people have access to. Google, on-line banking, email, news, blogging are all great things that have come of the internet. The downside has been information overload, computer viruses, spamming, and let’s be honest – an increase in our daily workload. Facebook was created to keep Harvard grads in contact with each other – a virtual rolodex – and in that context is great idea. But like the internet this Facebook has been corrupted and is now something that wasn’t needed, or perhaps I should say isn’t necessary.

If there is someone out there who wants to find me this can easily be done by using Google or Canada 411. My parents haven’t moved in 25 years so this person, if they really wanted to, could easily call mom and dad and ask about my whereabouts. It goes the other way as well. If I really wanted to know where someone was and what they were doing it wouldn’t take much time or effort in this modern age to find out. It would take a little effort though (just a little). That we haven’t done this is probably a good indication that we don’t need Facebook, we just need the occasional look at a yearbook for or quick reminiscence when we meet and old friend in passing.

I signed up the other day as ‘Reg’ after getting an invite from Darcey (thank you Darcey!) just so I could see what the fuss was all about. What I found was at first entertaining. So and so is doing this, has kids, lives wherever. After a while I had a thought, do I really need to know what a friend of my friend who I’ve only seen once since 1990 is doing? Aside from the occasional ‘so that’s what happened to so and so’ this is nothing more than another way to waste time that could be better spent actually calling someone, writing someone, sending them an email, or actually going and visiting them. Instead of lurking about Facebook gleaning tidbits of this lives lived from people you wouldn’t otherwise be bothered to contact why not go and talk to your next door neighbor and get to know them. Be honest, how many of us actually know anything substantial about our neighbors anymore? Do you even know your neighbors names?

I submit that Facebook is the easy way out, the lazy way of getting in touch with that someone we otherwise couldn’t be bothered to contact. Taking the lazy way out is starting to become the primary trait of us Gen Xers (and whatever they call the generation after us) and this isn’t a positive development.

At its best Facebook is a mildly entertaining virtually updated yearbook. At its worst Facebook is nothing more than a high school student government election for the computer literate, a popularity contest for those connected to the net. Like high school politics I doubt nothing much of any substance will come of this Facebook phenomenon. Once we read that Harry met Sally, they had two kids and live in Seattle (and are likely divorced) what reason do we have to ‘visit’ them again besides adding to our ever growing ‘friends’ list.

I have the feeling that if we are not careful Facebook will become another millstone around the neck of a society already burdened with too much technology and way too much information. A study, available here , shows that on average members are spending 19 minutes a day on Facebook. This study is already out of date so I suspect that number is likely higher. I can see where some new relationships will be formed out of Facebook but this will be in the minority.

Those friendships that have already stood the test of time will still be there and those friendships that have already lapsed will again fade once the Facebook fad wears thin. As for the Facebook friendships, if reading a profile on a computer is what you consider a relationship than go for it. It can’t come close to a night of cards at a lakeside cottage, conversation over drinks or a heartfelt letter from an old friend though.

If I was Darcey this is where I would have the song “Glory Days” by Springsteen embedded.


Update: I may not be big on Facebook but these folks here think there is a conspiracy afoot!