My Fears

My hands are trembling as I dictate this. Your fears for the future are for naught if what I fear as conjecture is found to be for real. It is that big. So, accomodate me and stop thinking and start listening.

You fools! What is George Bush up too? The Lord of the Ringwraiths has dropped out of the news spotlight. This is bad! This is bad for multi-cultural diversity.

George Bush is planning to Invade Cuba! And it makes sense that this is what he would do, is it not? George Bush is a meanie! And meanies invade Cuba. This is exactly what your model of George Bush would do, isn't it? In order to hang on to power! Suspend the Constitution! Yes! Yes! And do it in the silence of a slow news day.

In my fevered and spendthrift mind: As you read this, a Marine Division is blasting its way out of Guantanomo Bay. An Army parachute brigade has seized an airfield. A mighty battleship, built in secret, the Arizona now lays off Havanna, lobbing salvos of heavy shells into civilian targets, like arsenals, depots, and armories. There is incredible suffering among plants and insects. Twigs are broken and the grass gets stepped on. Leaves are falling!

I am most afeared of the fate of the Cleveland Spider, a member of the Poisonous Spider Family. The poor, helpless Cleveland Spider! We, your Canadian Tire Money, and my spending, can help by starting a fund to fund a telemarketing fundraising campaign. You can hear your charity dollars at work when you get called by a chipper or perky telemarketing sales wolf morning, noon, and night.

Let's stop George Bush's evil plan, before he thinks of it first! Do this now:

1) Say No to Secret Battleship Weapons!

2) Write in Fenris Badwulf on your restaurant check for a free meal! Leave quickly so as not to embarass the restaurant staff who should have treated you better.

3) Give me the money you cheated from the restaurant as your tithe to Set, the Snake God.

4) Write another name on the check if you want to keep the money. Set, the Snake God cares and understands. Of course, doing so will lose them the strange powers that they would normally discover in themselves when they use the name of Fenris Badwulf

Help stop the fear and save the spider with your money and my spending. Care now, and care quickly, and carefully send me, by mail or post, once again, all of your credit card numbers. Send all and feel all better.

I, Fenris Badwulf, dictated this whilst being hand fed mango by my love slave Hollis.

ikthis, the scribe, wrote this whilse watching same

cross posted at DustMyBroom, close to where the rainforests of Calgary once stood before Global Warming.