Stop Harper
I am rarely so outraged as I am right now. I had all evening for a slow boiling rage to build up pressure in the pressure cooker of my mind. The Harper government has failed in its most important sacred duty: to tax and spend money on legal challenges to federal law.
The Backstory: Just last night I attended a celebration at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless. Ten of the homeless people who live there (whom we call Collective 52), had earned enough privilege tokens to gain access to the plasma screen television lounge up on the third level. Collective 52 is our top token earning work group at Katyn Wood. Lord Hades and Lady Persephone are very proud of them. 52 is our best work group for telemarketing, cleanliness, loyalty, socialist spirit, and obedience to bureaucracy. They were rewarded with two hours access to the television lounge, along with kool-aid and dog biscuits. It should have been a happy night of socialist fun and merriment, and it would have been but not for Stephen Harper and his band of castrating Christians.
What happened, Fenris. You better get your kleenex handy, this is a real tear jerker. For those of you with a weak stomach, maybe a barf bag.
Collective 52 collectively decided to watch a movie that Lord Hades had rented from the Metro Toronto library: Attack of the Brain Eating Zombies. I had prepared a running commentary for the movie, illustrating how inferior capitalist systems are vulnerable to attacks of the bacteria that cause people to turn into brain eating zombies. The spokesperson for Collective 52 then asked me this insightful question, after getting the approval to ask it from the Commissar of Collective 52. He asked me: Since we live in a corrupt capitalist state, Comrade Fenris, are we not exposed to attacks of brain eating zombies?
What is Stephen Harper doing to prevent attacks from brain eating zombies? In the informative movie, a wise vegetarian wheelchair person develops an elixir from common plants that makes the zombies burst into flame. So why cannot Tony Clement and his legions of scientists at the Ministry of Health not come up with a formula, mass produce this elixir, and initiate a publicity campaign of telemarketers, informative brochures, and public awareness advertising spots? The answer is that these evil heteronormative capitalists are so wrapped up in facts that they cannot imagine. When I sent a loyal minion to the Ministry of Health information kiosk, demanding answers to these tough questions, they were detained, restrained, and sent to see an emotional disorders specialist. What sort of jackbooted fascist theocracy is going on here? What is this government trying to hide?
We need funding to start planning an awareness campaign timed to influence the next federal election. Children's lives are at stake: we need canary yellow photocopy paper, now! We need office equipment, toner, and paper clips. We need volunteers to work the phone lines, and we need a healthy tax increase to be able to afford the professional bureaucrats needed to staff the administration pyramid.
If we can Stop Harper, we can Stop the Brain Eating Zombies.
Send me your money, and save yourself from certain death.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
cross posted at Dust My Broom
The Backstory: Just last night I attended a celebration at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless. Ten of the homeless people who live there (whom we call Collective 52), had earned enough privilege tokens to gain access to the plasma screen television lounge up on the third level. Collective 52 is our top token earning work group at Katyn Wood. Lord Hades and Lady Persephone are very proud of them. 52 is our best work group for telemarketing, cleanliness, loyalty, socialist spirit, and obedience to bureaucracy. They were rewarded with two hours access to the television lounge, along with kool-aid and dog biscuits. It should have been a happy night of socialist fun and merriment, and it would have been but not for Stephen Harper and his band of castrating Christians.
What happened, Fenris. You better get your kleenex handy, this is a real tear jerker. For those of you with a weak stomach, maybe a barf bag.
Collective 52 collectively decided to watch a movie that Lord Hades had rented from the Metro Toronto library: Attack of the Brain Eating Zombies. I had prepared a running commentary for the movie, illustrating how inferior capitalist systems are vulnerable to attacks of the bacteria that cause people to turn into brain eating zombies. The spokesperson for Collective 52 then asked me this insightful question, after getting the approval to ask it from the Commissar of Collective 52. He asked me: Since we live in a corrupt capitalist state, Comrade Fenris, are we not exposed to attacks of brain eating zombies?
What is Stephen Harper doing to prevent attacks from brain eating zombies? In the informative movie, a wise vegetarian wheelchair person develops an elixir from common plants that makes the zombies burst into flame. So why cannot Tony Clement and his legions of scientists at the Ministry of Health not come up with a formula, mass produce this elixir, and initiate a publicity campaign of telemarketers, informative brochures, and public awareness advertising spots? The answer is that these evil heteronormative capitalists are so wrapped up in facts that they cannot imagine. When I sent a loyal minion to the Ministry of Health information kiosk, demanding answers to these tough questions, they were detained, restrained, and sent to see an emotional disorders specialist. What sort of jackbooted fascist theocracy is going on here? What is this government trying to hide?
We need funding to start planning an awareness campaign timed to influence the next federal election. Children's lives are at stake: we need canary yellow photocopy paper, now! We need office equipment, toner, and paper clips. We need volunteers to work the phone lines, and we need a healthy tax increase to be able to afford the professional bureaucrats needed to staff the administration pyramid.
If we can Stop Harper, we can Stop the Brain Eating Zombies.
Send me your money, and save yourself from certain death.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.
cross posted at Dust My Broom
Labels: Stephen Harper
posted by The Mayor at 2:14 PM
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