Global Warming Warning
Activists lead by example, and what better place to take on Global Warming than in the few homeless shelters that are within walking distance of the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. Like all privately run and publically funded homeless shelters, the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless offers food, shelter, skills upgrading, and counselling, all in an attractive Elizabethian era lifestyle that encourages independence, health, and cultural diversity.
Independence. Located three stories underground in a recycled parking garage, the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless shields its residents, its guests, from the harsh hatreds of heteronormative Toronto. There is plenty of fresh air available from the ventilation shaft, and fresh water comes like nature intended, from a bubbling spring in the north west retaining wall. The offensive sounds of the automobile and earth rapist 'normal' people (which the residents of Katyn call normals) are never heard in this paradise. Only the periodic clickity-clack of the adjacent subway tunnel gives a hint of the existance of a world outside the happy space. And, it is a great comfort to me to know that these sounds are that of Toronto's subterranean public transit.
Health. Refreshing vegetarian repasts, banquets, and smorgasborgs are the daily fare for our most vulnerable guests. A scientific diet designed to nourish the spirit is supplied, free of obligation. As this season is the corn harvest, a rich selection of corn soups, stews, puddings, cakes, and mushes have been enjoyed by every guest. No meat is ever served; no animals suffer to help the homeless. And everybody likes it that way. Nobody complains here. It is the environmentalist future made real in this flagship home for the homeless, just like our wiser ancestors lived during the Elizabethian century. Great care is taken to protect our guests from the harmful effects of sunlight, radio, televison, newspapers, and contact with normals.
Cultural Diversity. The staff at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless all wear non-traditional garb as a way of showing rebellion to the White Patriarchy. Hades, the chief counsellor, sports simple Rainbow villagesque fetish gear: a black leather hood, a harness of black leather adorned with chromed brightwork, and a supple cod piece. His partner, Lady Persephone, wears a matching latex outfit. Both Hades and Persephone oppose Christian morality, and actively express a Pagan moral code celebrated in the pre-Christian culture of Sparta. To the staff at the home, their homeless wards are helots, a quaint Spartan term. Hades and Persephone have found happiness. A smile is often on their face, and they frequently just laugh and laugh for no reason at all.
Spending cuts by Mike Harris have threatened this paradise. A decision was made by responsible activists to just not tell anyone about the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless. The corset of social responsibilty was tightened. Luxuries like toilet paper were done away with. Besides, toilet paper had an horrible cost in trees murdered. The sewer in the north end, used as a communal latrine, was often backing up because of the earth unfriendly nature of toilet paper. Guests were hesitant to be lowered on a rope headfirst into the narrow space to clear blockages with a gravy laddle. Instead, discarded corn cobs are used, recycled, and are added to the Greenpeace Compost pile in the south east corner. Once again Hippie Wisdom has found full flower in creating this utopian model of our collective future.
What little money Mike Harris left for the shelter as a monthly pittance is put to where it will do the most social good ... as campaign donations to Liberal candidates, Amnesty International, and Greenpeace. Guests earn privilege tokens by writing letters of outrage to the Toronto Star.
This small corner of future environmentalist perfection needs your support. Can Hades and Persephone call upon your support? Take out your credit cards and mortgage deeds and say, 'I want to live like a guest at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless'. I have never asked you for money before. But this is a cause worth giving to. If you share my vision of a vegetarian future free of the sound of the automobile and heteronormative normals, where there is no sunlight contaminated with harmful UV rays, then I beseech you to do the socialist cause proud. Send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this drenched in tears.
Cross posted at Dust My Broom, because they care, too.
Independence. Located three stories underground in a recycled parking garage, the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless shields its residents, its guests, from the harsh hatreds of heteronormative Toronto. There is plenty of fresh air available from the ventilation shaft, and fresh water comes like nature intended, from a bubbling spring in the north west retaining wall. The offensive sounds of the automobile and earth rapist 'normal' people (which the residents of Katyn call normals) are never heard in this paradise. Only the periodic clickity-clack of the adjacent subway tunnel gives a hint of the existance of a world outside the happy space. And, it is a great comfort to me to know that these sounds are that of Toronto's subterranean public transit.
Health. Refreshing vegetarian repasts, banquets, and smorgasborgs are the daily fare for our most vulnerable guests. A scientific diet designed to nourish the spirit is supplied, free of obligation. As this season is the corn harvest, a rich selection of corn soups, stews, puddings, cakes, and mushes have been enjoyed by every guest. No meat is ever served; no animals suffer to help the homeless. And everybody likes it that way. Nobody complains here. It is the environmentalist future made real in this flagship home for the homeless, just like our wiser ancestors lived during the Elizabethian century. Great care is taken to protect our guests from the harmful effects of sunlight, radio, televison, newspapers, and contact with normals.
Cultural Diversity. The staff at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless all wear non-traditional garb as a way of showing rebellion to the White Patriarchy. Hades, the chief counsellor, sports simple Rainbow villagesque fetish gear: a black leather hood, a harness of black leather adorned with chromed brightwork, and a supple cod piece. His partner, Lady Persephone, wears a matching latex outfit. Both Hades and Persephone oppose Christian morality, and actively express a Pagan moral code celebrated in the pre-Christian culture of Sparta. To the staff at the home, their homeless wards are helots, a quaint Spartan term. Hades and Persephone have found happiness. A smile is often on their face, and they frequently just laugh and laugh for no reason at all.
Spending cuts by Mike Harris have threatened this paradise. A decision was made by responsible activists to just not tell anyone about the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless. The corset of social responsibilty was tightened. Luxuries like toilet paper were done away with. Besides, toilet paper had an horrible cost in trees murdered. The sewer in the north end, used as a communal latrine, was often backing up because of the earth unfriendly nature of toilet paper. Guests were hesitant to be lowered on a rope headfirst into the narrow space to clear blockages with a gravy laddle. Instead, discarded corn cobs are used, recycled, and are added to the Greenpeace Compost pile in the south east corner. Once again Hippie Wisdom has found full flower in creating this utopian model of our collective future.
What little money Mike Harris left for the shelter as a monthly pittance is put to where it will do the most social good ... as campaign donations to Liberal candidates, Amnesty International, and Greenpeace. Guests earn privilege tokens by writing letters of outrage to the Toronto Star.
This small corner of future environmentalist perfection needs your support. Can Hades and Persephone call upon your support? Take out your credit cards and mortgage deeds and say, 'I want to live like a guest at the Katyn Wood Home for the Homeless'. I have never asked you for money before. But this is a cause worth giving to. If you share my vision of a vegetarian future free of the sound of the automobile and heteronormative normals, where there is no sunlight contaminated with harmful UV rays, then I beseech you to do the socialist cause proud. Send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this drenched in tears.
Cross posted at Dust My Broom, because they care, too.
posted by The Mayor at 10:02 PM
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