I'm Chuggin' It

A lawsuit by two teenage girls claiming that MCDonald's made them fat and sick was thrown out of court three years ago, is now going back to court:

The judge ruled that the girls had identified to his satisfaction "40 deceptive ads" and "sufficiently described" the harm McDonald's food allegedly caused them: "obesity, hypertension and elevated levels of LDL cholesterol."

If anything, McDonald's should be suing these two girls for bad product endorsements of their delicious foods.

I know I sound like a broken record, but it's not McDonald's fault for making these girls fat and sick. Anyone that eats MCDonald's all the time is sick in the head to begin with, but it's not society or McDonald's fault for individual choices one makes. Even the most slack-jawed, short-bus riding, drooling Neanderthal knows that super-size fries and a large Coke cannot be good for you. Eating this crap once in a while is okay, I'm proof positive of that. I've been eating McDonald's for as long as I can remember and I'm 195 lbs of the finest Canadian male meat there is. Sure, my face looks like I've been beaten senseless with a frying pan, but that's not McDonald's fault, that's God's fault. Maybe I'll sue him.

If anyone bases their eating choices solely on advertisements, then that person is about as stupid as the day is long. Companies always show their product in the best way possible. McDonald's is no different. If we were to take McDonald's to task, I would sue them because Mayor McCheese isn't the actual Mayor of McDonaldland, the Hamburgler doesn't really steal children's Big Macs, Ronald McDonald doesn't really own houses where parents of sick kids can go while their kid is in hospital, and all my food would be served hot, fresh, and with a smile. This is McDonald's we're talking about, you know exactly what you're going to get. The food is rarely hot or fresh, and I can do without a zit-faced teenager with STD's smiling at me with their yellow-stained, bucked-tooth grin. You're lucky there aren't maggots in the meat.

I kind of lost track of where I was going with this, but suffice to say, these girls are morons and their lawsuit is frivolous, to say the least.

Big Mac, Large Fries, Apple Pie and a diet Coke, please