Tara Reid is Made of Spare Parts

Tara Reid talks about her botched joint implant-liposuction procedure she had in 2004:

"First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn’t want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s going to be better.’ But after six months of ‘it’s going to get better,’ it started to get worse and worse.”

On being intimate:
"Guys I was dating would be like, ‘What’s wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.’ So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn off the lights, that’s for sure.”

On getting lipo:
"I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted – I’m not going to lie – a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing.

When your man tells you that your breasts look awful and need to be fixed, you know there is something wrong. Guys will go out of their way (aka *lie*) and tell a woman their breasts are great even if they are disgusting, saggy milkbags like what Tara is hoofing around her mangled, dumpy frame. And the reason for this is? Sex. What else. No guy is going to take a chance by telling their woman that they have ugly tits, that could possibly lead to never seeing her ugly tits again. That's a no-no in guy circles.

Tara Reid really doesn't resemble what she use to look like anymore. She has so many spare parts and alterations to her body that she is just inches away from turning into a Transformer. Not a cool transformer like the one's that turn into a giant killing machine, but rather one that turns into my beaten down, weathered, old Chevy truck. Yup, my old rusted out, flat tire, dented, too many miles, bondo-buggy that needs a jump-start just to turn on.

It's a good thing that Tara Reid isn't famous or that anyone in the universe cares about her, or this would be a real shame. As it stands, she's just a Mexican plastic surgeons wet dream and a no-class Hollyweird *F* lister. Oh well, how 'bout dem Leafs?

Can I help you with that bag of milk, ma'am?

Use My Computer for the pic