Dirty Sanchez

A few of my friends dropped by City Hall today for some whiskey and to talk business. I found I operate better after 2 or 3 stiff drinks , I find it helps me think way more clearly. So we're all sitting down shootin' the shit, boozing away, and the subject came up of the best firing or cause for dismissals we personally know about. There were a ton of funny stories, but the one I'm about to tell you is what legends are made of.

This guy we all knew, let's just call him Meathead, got a job selling cars at a Mazda dealership. He was there about 2 weeks or so, he sold a few cars, so far so good. His boss and him were friendly to each other, as a matter of fact, his boss was something of a practical joker. When Meathead would come back from lunch he would often find tape wrapped around his phone, or his computer, or his chair was really low. Haha, what a jokester. Anyway, Meathead gets it in his unusually large head that he should play a joke on his boss for a change. I have to note at this point that Meathead has no sense of humour, he thinks he's funny, but he's one of the dumbest motherfuckers I have ever met in my long, illustrious life. I know you read my blog Meathead, and I'm not sorry for saying this, you're stupid as the day is long. If you want to discuss it later I'd be happy to kick your teeth in. So, as I was saying, Meathead gets this retarded idea on how to get back at his boss. Just after lunch, Meathead sees his boss with his back turned to him, and starts to sneak up on him. He gets to about 3 feet of his boss, and Meathead sticks his own finger in his own ass. He pulls it out, wraps his hand around his boss' mouth, and swipes his finger across his boss' upper lip. Meanwhile, his boss was talking to 2 people, so they see this circus in real time. The place goes quiet like a morgue, and then Meathead busts out laughing, pointing his finger at his boss, laughing like a fucking hyena. Meathead's yelling at him "burned, burned", what a freakshow that must have been.

Could you imagine that poor man? He must be still smelling Meatheads ass everytime he breathes. I'm serious, that guy probably still smells Meatheads rotten, filthy, smelly, drippy, fungusy, crusty, old, stupid, Portuguese asshole. I'd rather die on the spot, just have a massive coronary and end it all. Suffice to say Meathead was fired the next day. Buh bye Dirty Sanchez.

No word of a lie, Meathead was pissed off about being fired for months. He whined and bitched like the little bitch that he is, until he finally realized that wiping your own feces across the mouth of a fellow human being is in fact wrong. Maybe there is hope for you yet Meathead.

Naw.