When in Rome...

I was speaking to Maximus, my Roman centurion friend, last night, and he was asking me if I knew how much XXXIV-XXXCI is. What an interesting question I thought, I wish I had an ancient Roman computer so I could calculate hard mathematical questions like that. Maximus laughed at me as he saw the obvious embarrassment on my face. He laughed so loud that the heavens shook the feet from whence I stood. This got me a little upset. First of all, no-one laughs at me, especially a fucking Roman centurion. Try stepping into the 2000's Maximus. Some people think Roman centurions are "all that". I'm here to tell you that's simply not true. The thing about Roman Centurians that first grabs you by the short ones, is that they smell. I understand that killing hundreds of people in battle can make a guy sweat and stink, but the odor that came out of this guy was enough to gag a maggot off a shit wagon.

Computer Romans is a site that will help you overcome basic ancient Roman math problems that you no doubt have every day. The part about the site that sucks, is that instead of using a "U" in their words, they use a "V", just like the Romans did. This is cute at first, but then it gets annoying. This is probably one of the reasons that non-Romans took such great pride in killing Romans. Enough is enough, you know what I mean?