Around the World in 7 Days

I'm going to try something this week that I think you might find special, unique, maybe even excellent. I want to take you, my loyal readership, on a journey. I want to take you to many foreign, exotic places and teach you the customs and ways of the locals. I'd like to show you how people live, and what is appropriate behavior when amongst the natives. In short, I want you to go and be free, get jiggy wit it, relax and enjoy, be one with the earth.

First we're going to go to a place known for it's beauty, its art, its magnificent food, its truly wonderful and beautiful splendor. We're talking about Italy. Today I want to send you to a site that will be most essential if you ever decide to go to Italia. When I think of Italians, I always think about their language first. I think that dollar for dollar, Italian is the most beautiful language in the world. When I hear a hot Italian girl speak I completely melt. I want to go up to her and rub pizza dough in her face. One thing you should know first and foremost about Italians, they have gutter mouths on them. Italians love to swear, it's part of their culture. If you ever see an Italian, he is either swearing or thinking of something to swear about. Italians curse a blue streak, they have filthy mouths, they can't put together 2 words without the word "fuck" being in the middle of them.

So that's why the site Italian Cursewords is so important. You have at least the top 40 Italian swear words posted there, it makes sense to learn a handful of them. I'm already walking by construction sites and yelling to the workers "hey Mario, Vaffanculu". Good morning Mrs. Grotonioni, you certainly look like un pompinaio this morning. Do you have my dry cleaning ready yet Tony? No? Andate tutti a 'fanculo!.

So go there and learn some shit. Ciao che va in culo a sua madre.