Victory Coffee - (04/07/08)

Friday is the worst day of the week. If anyone asks you, that is the correct answer. Happy Workers are happiest on Monday, especially around the start of work on Monday. That is the correct reason to use to support your correct answer.

Friday is a sign the week of tax earning for tax spenders to spend is over.

Todays privilege token is grey, again. Yes, because of the legendary efficiency of your non-ability management (hired and promoted on the basis of anything but efficency), there is a Global Warming fighting surplus of prune mush. Mmmmm, prune mush!

You can earn the grey privilege token by turning the office clock back an hour. Squeeze more work out of your fellow workers, Happy Worker! You can denounce all those that complain as racists. Are they wearing a clothes peg to show that they resist sleep while earning taxable income to support those that sleep while you work?

Be always smiling, Happy Worker!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Victory Coffee - (03/07/08)

Victory Coffee! Shout it out as you perform your daily work, as you earn taxable income to pay for those that do not.

Yes, the have nots and won't dos need you, Happy Worker. From the first beggar you pass on your sleepy shuffle to the urine stinking public transit, to the second beggar that has a better cell phone than you, to the third, whose inadequate disability pension barely keeps him in his apartment, and restricts him to a four week vacation in Cuba every year.

Happy Worker, put a smile on your face. Grumblers are traitors. They manifest the outer signs of not niceness. Not good. Ungood.

As you pour your packet of Victory Coffee into the warm tap water in your Victory Coffee Mug, smile for those whom Darwin called the unfit, because without the unfit there would be no employment for appeasers and accomodaters of the unfit. And without that, you would have no reason to pay and pay and pay for their salaries, pensions, and benefits.

Todays privilege is a grey privilege token. You can earn yourself an extra ladle of prune mush with this beauty. Mmmmmm.

Get to work, happy worker.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Victory Coffee - (02/07/08)

What a beautiful day to be working so that others do not have to work. Refreshed with your tapwater warm cup of victory coffee, you look forward to another day of making plenty for others who make nothing.

Todays campaign is The Great Leaders Campaign for Roughage. Without frequent reinforcements of fibre, the colon becomes tired and lazy. And what better way to push out the evil anti-socialist thought than with a double helping of Bran muffins?

Show you care about those who don't care about their own families, by singing the patriotic slogan

(chorus) Make everyone else eat two muffins, too

Not One, not Three, but Two!
Hurrah for the Struggle for Increased Production!

Our Jackboots stomp on fingers and shoes
Warm coffee and donuts covered with sugar goo!


Extra bran muffins are available for loyal and productive workers who meet or exceed production quotas. Extra effort will be rewarded with additional tax burdens to fund the construction of safe injection sites at Toronto high schools and battered womens shelters.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, because I care.

Victory Coffee - (01/07/08)

Your place of work is a place of suffering! Here you toil and sweat to earn tax money to keep those few less fortunate and those many who make sure the less fortunate remain dependent on your efforts.

Todays efficiency campaign is to fight against work place sleeping. You know who these people are. Even if you do not know any shirkers, you can earn a green privilege token by denouncing a co-worker and placing a clothes peg on their skin to keep them awake. Show your loyalty to the Central Authority by putting a few clothes pegs on your own skin to show that you care, that you care more.

Your sleepless, painful efforts to earn wages which are decimated by taxes so that taxspenders can sleep and obtain services are appreciated by taxspender administrators, taxspender supervisors, and taxspender co-ordinators. Without your sacrifice, they would have no office space, padded chairs, or canary yellow photo copy paper.

The green privilege token gives you an extra ladle of cold boiled spinnich from the bottom of the food bucket, and one packet of fair trade pepper! Mmmmmm.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this because I care.

Victory Coffee - (30/06/08)

Oh, happy workers! What a great day to spend away from working at work to spend working at home!

Advance the cause of the taxspenders by attacking your compost pile! Sip your Victory Coffee * and sort through the precious organic material and search for forbidden items, like batteries, metal, and glass! Canada is a disarmed taxspenders paradise.


You have enjoyed your extra fifteen minuites sleep on this holiday which celebrates the Racist Shithole of Canada! Now, turn your mind to those whom you support with your taxes. They have no work to do, and are asleep while you pick through your compost. Their taxspender caregivers are denied the happiness that comes from hand sorting compost.

Todays privilege token is blue! Efficient workers who pass compost inspection will get a blue privilege token! You can use it to get an extra bottle of water.

Sing the Mitchieville Victory Song * , you are so happy to work and pay taxes to support those who sleep while you work!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this because I care.

Book at Bedtime

Yes, Happy Worker, tonight is Sunday night. It is back to working to pay for other people’s entitlements tomorrow.

As you sink back into your soft bed for your allowed half hour extra of sleep this night, let your mind relax and drift like a feather on a draft of warm air. Turn your mind first to your feet and hands, and let them relax. Then draw your concentration to your wrists and ankles, and let them relax. Breathe deeply. Cleanse your mind of negative thoughts. Say to yourself that you are a Hungry Sales Wolf.

Refreshed! Let read a bit from our book, then!

How about this anecdote from the Battle of Kursk? * :

Heavy German air attacks on Soviet positions at Ponyri and further west at Ol'khovatka were met by equally heavy antiaircraft fire from the 25th Antiaircraft Artillery Division. By nightfall, after renewed assaults by two regiments and sixty tanks, the Germans finally took the northern and central part of Ponyri. German losses were heavy, as were those of the 1019th Rifle Regiment and supporting 540th Light Artillery Regiment that accounted for four heavy tanks before being forced to withdraw from its positions. Small groups of German assault troops infiltrated further south through gaps in the 1019th Rifle Regiment's lines, as the two battalions of the 1023d Rifle Regiment tried in vain to seal the gaps. Battle raged throughout the night, illuminated by the burning buildings of Ponyri.


Sounds like fun, does it not? Let us start at the top, shall we …

Heavy German air attacks … Well, this is the 1943 Luftwaffe … the strongest it will ever be, historically. This means that every Russian command post above battalion would get a visit from up to four medium bombers per wave. These bombers carried 1,100 kg bombs. Have you ever been around one of these things going off? These bombs leave a seven meter deep crater.

… heavy antiaircraft fire from the 25th Antiaircraft Artillery Division. Well, this isn’t saying much. The German air force was not wiped out this day. So the flak barrage was spectacular to look at, but futile. Add to that that the Germans were masters of flak suppression … which is a nice way of saying ‘drop frags on exposed flak gunners who are hanging about among piles of explosives and vehicles filled with gasoline’. The Germans have a single word capable of expressing that very sentiment.

By nightfall, after renewed assaults by two regiments and sixty tanks, the Germans finally took the northern and central part of Ponyri. Hold on a minute. Nightfall? Ahh, the Russians either withdrew or were all dead. Also, there is a fortification in the southern part of the town.

German losses were heavy, as were those of the 1019th Rifle Regiment and supporting 540th Light Artillery Regiment that accounted for four heavy tanks before being forced to withdraw from its positions. The Germans attacked with sixty Tiger tanks. The artillery support for this regiment is called light … which means 57mm field guns, firing over open sights. That they got four Tigers is pretty good. But the Germans have 56 Tiger tanks left. And a whole big battlefield full of grisly wreckage and smoking ruins, the place stinking of gun smoke, diesel fuel, and burning straw. And do not forget that in Stalin's army in 1943, regiments are not forced to withdraw. They were dead.

Small groups of German assault troops infiltrated further south through gaps in the 1019th Rifle Regiment's lines … Nazi special forces units infiltrate ahead of the assault troops. This means radio operators found with their throats slit, snipers shooting into the field aid station, and the commandants car rigged to explode.

…as the two battalions of the 1023d Rifle Regiment tried in vain to seal the gaps. Textbook elastic defence tactics. You can imagine the slaughter. The Germans infantry are elite assault troops … backed up by 56 Tiger tanks! There are two German regiments here, so that means regimental heavy weapons. Like those 120mm mortars the Germans gave every regiment. So, at least 24 heavy mortars are going to be plopping on this Russian attack. I guess after the barrage, the Germans would follow a few Tigers in to mop up, to loot the dead of weapons, ammunition, food, and gold teeth.

Battle raged throughout the night, illuminated by the burning buildings of Ponyri. Sounds romantic. German tactical doctrine for night attacks called for the issue of ‘Paratroopers chocolate’ to the troops: this stuff was a synthetic ‘chocolate’ (made from turpentine and sugar beets) which was fortified with methamphetamine. The two German regiments, led by the special battalion of Nazi commandos, were amped up on speed. Dark rumors circulate to this day about the drug fueled fiendish war atrocities committed by those who ate this Nazi chocolate.


Well, keep the lessons from this reading firmly in your mind as you drift off to sleep tonight. Its like you are visualizing elements from this story, and passing them towards the place behind your eyes, and pushing them into another dimension of time and space. Like planting a seed. Good night, happy worker.

This is where I got this material from: * . Thanks to the fine people at this address who have such fascinating and Darwin-friendly reading material.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this at both Mitchieville and DustMyBroom.

Onward, Happy Workers! (March 9, 2008)

This week, Happy Workers, our beloved and wise collective leadership has turned to the pages of the left-thinking, non-divisionist, and correctly circumdictional comments of our happy past for guidance on the problems of our collective present.

Read this, now *.

Our Five Day Plan is to have five days of two bran muffins each. This is a great luxury for you, The Happy Worker. In the great zero-sum game of increased productivity and increased taxation for taxpayers and increased spending for tax spenders, the increased consumption of bran will be of great benefit to our Comrades in the Turpentine, Bran and Bran Bi-products Industry.

Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission is to be saluted when he drives past you in his large limousine when he arrives for an inspection on behalf of the steering committee of the Turpentine, Bran, and Bran Bi-products Directorate. Remember to cheer and wave happily, happy workers.

Every morning, enjoy two bran muffins along with your cup of Victory Coffee * . Make everyone else eat two muffins, too.

Not One, not Three, but Two!

Hurrah for the Struggle for Increased Production!


I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Motivation, happy workers!

Do you know the signs of Asbestos poisoning?

It could happen any time ceiling tiles or concrete is disturbed.

If you are near a worker using a ladder to access the ceiling through dropped ceiling, you may notice that he collapses to the ground, having turned a bluish white and vomited foaming blood. This is a sign of Asbestos poisoning.

If everybody in the elevator is dead when it opens to let you on, use it to go 'express' to your floor. However, if they show signs of post mortem asbestos syndrome, and are in a process of liquification, do not go on.

If you see people who have taken off their clothes, and are walking outside leaving bloody finger trails on the walls, these are homeless people, expressing themselves and we should not judge them. If they have bluish white splotches of skin, pulsing veins in their legs, and eruptions of foaming blood, then this is a sign of Asbestos poisoning and you should not come within 400 meters of them.

Asbestos poisoning is easily cured. If you have been exposed, turn yourself into a decontamination unit. You will receive top notch Canadian health care and you will not be dissected for spare parts.

The story of a dollar

When you take a dollar out of your lunch money, ask yourself, how can this dollar help others to help the helpless?

The average Canadian taxpayer only pays around 55 percent of their income into the hands of taxspenders. Thats only fifty-five cents per dollar. Fifty five cents is not very much money. That is only two quarters and a nickel. So, people who complain about taxes, about mismanagement of taxes, and the squandering of taxes on parasites, predators, and other marginalized members of the community, are racists.

Taxspenders come in two species. The first type are the activist taxspenders ... these are the important people who take the fifty-five cents (thats not very much, now is it?) and wisely re-distribute this money into the hands of the second type of taxspenders. But this diversity of taxspenders all have one thing in common: they cash cheques drawn on some government account.

Money is dirty and evil. In the hands of taxpayers, money just leads to non-government spending. Taxpayers never spend money on taxspenders, not a single penny. So, it is good that we have taxspenders to use emotional manipulative techniques to get that fifty-five cents from taxpayers. Only through the power of socialism is money converted from dirty money to clean cheques, printed off government high speed, high capacity printers. You would not let your children eat money, so it is good that we have taxspenders spending money to teach other taxspenders not to let their children eat money. Better the taxspenders cash cheques and that the taxpayer have less dirty money.

As you drink your Victory Coffee, happy worker, take a look over all the work you have to do. Look at the place where you work. Think about where you live. These places all exist so that you can pay taxes to taxspenders. It is better when they spend your money.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Let's talk about work.

If you want to know what Canada should be looking at for its War Machine *

Tired of all the hype and empty rhetoric critical of Set, the Snake God? * . This also gives you a good idea of what a chamber in an underground lair should have as a decoration theme.

Valentines Day is coming, gentlemen. How about getting her drunk before having your way with her? Take pictures, you can sell them on the internet.

I have found software that 'reads' text and translates it into an acceptable English voice. I have it reading the surviving works of Aristotle * to my house plants and adorable house cat, Mister Whiskers, during the hours when I am not in the house. This earns me enough carbon credits that I can secretly burn my garbage in a home made incinerator. I use discarded engine oil to make it smoulder more efficiently. That is recycling.

When you work for a large Canadian bank, you work for the victory of totalitarianism. Canadian banks use their Human Resources departments to spy upon foreign governments, forment unrest and sedition overseas, and capitalize munitions manufacturing.

When you take the time to mentally throw your problems off the roof of a high building, you will feel a feeling of weightlessness in your heart.

I, Fenris Badwulf, dependable Satrap and dissolver of problems, wrote this.

Onwards, Happy Workers

Give yourselves over to Set, the Snake God.

Without your money, the adherants, acolytes, and the adepts of Set, Snake God, cannot obtain the services of a large sized telemarketing firm. Give me your money so that I might make more telemarketing calls into your homes at dinner time. Yes, as you sit on your baby powdered ass, eating some fish stinking soup that comes out of a can, I want to disturb your gurgling guts and make you shift your stinking carcass over to answer the tele-phone.

As you shovel volume and quantity into your stretchmark marked mouth, a cascade of crumbs of greasy clots erupts as you eat, open mouthed, like a churl. Think then, you hog-goblin, of the greater, larger hog-goblin, which is Set, the Snake God.

Who of your friends will let you feed your kidnapped rivals to meat eating river reptiles? Ask yourself that. And you know the answer to that is Fenris, and his fellow adherants, accolytes, and adepts in Set, the Snake God. Yes, there is a welcoming Golf Club in the Guelph region where you can dispose of bodies, breathing rivals, cheating spouses, and obnoxious (especially sticky) children. Sticky children are fed to Set, the Snake God.

I have rivals. Others, close to the Mayor, but not adverse to slipping a sawzall into my gullet if they could only get me pinned under a sheet of plywood. I recognize the 'two alligators, one pond' scenario. Because of the bungling of that quack alchemist, it is now part of my genetic makeup. Yes, I am a Crocodile-Canadian. Surgeons at the University of Toronto have been using reptiles as a source of cheap spare parts for other students, who fell ill and hence under the control of the Socio-Darwinist Cult that has control over these things. And I made the mistake of going to the free VD clinic at the University. Sure, they gave me penicillin to supress the syphillis, but they added a cocktail of reptile stem cells. Some of them rebuilt the reptilian complex of my brain. It is alot bigger.

So, anyway, I have rivals. My feelings are hurt. I need a hug.

Instead, I give myself over to a weekend of debauchery.

Soon, you will know who urges questioning and spreads murmurs against the The Ministry of Re-Education. Soon, yes, they will surface. In a pond, maybe. A floater. And the head? Slung in a recycled five pound onion bag over a pedestrian crossing light.

Some of you need to decide.

My policy is simple: We, the adepts of Set, The Snake God, should co-operate to suborn the economic system to promote the benefit of ourselves. We should co-operate to share insider knowledge, mitigate crimes of members, and control criminal enterprise. I, personally, am set to gain as a teacher and trainer of such methods. There is nothing that Ayn Rand could disagree with there.

Here is an example:

Two of my regular readers are Chinese nerds working for a large Toronto bank. Both read my blog to stave off boredom, and to fill their otherwise dull, bland lives as 'worker ants'. They have agreed to The Policy. They now have suborned their employers cash flow, and enjoy whiskey and whores every long weekend. They live in Toronto. They are now overpaid and over eating. As you read this, they are sleeping in from their Thursday 'end of the week' whiskey and whore binge.

Come over to Set, the Snake God. Let us conspire to make this true for more of our lodge brothers.

Whiskey and Whores! Sailors, on leave, forever!

Onward, Happy Workers!

What a great day!

Today, as you commute home, pat yourself on the back, happy worker. Your taxpaying has made taxspending possible. Your money has made someone else smile.

Homeless people have hope to get a handout, a free meal, some expensive camping gear, and more smokes that you cannot afford to smoke.

Single mothers have hope to get a handout, a free meal, some expensive maternity gear, and more smokes that you cannot afford to smoke.

Children in violence prone neighbourhoods have hope to get a handout, a free basketball, and some expensive designer clothing that you cannot afford to wear.

Victims of racism have hope that your racist tax dollars, taken from your racist society, administered by your racist government, will help to find more victims of racism so that there can be more taxes taken to give more hope to the chronically underfunded racism industry.

Caring people in the caring professions have hope that that they will get the compensation package increases that they deserve so that they can agitate for more money for the homeless, single mothers, children in violent neighbourhoods, and victims of racism. Without sure knowledge of a pension tied to the cost of living, our caring people cannot care; instead, they worry.

Yes, happy worker and taxpayer, you care about your children. You know that poverty causes crime. That is why it is so important to take your money from you, who cares about children, to give to those on the bottom of the socio-economic scale, who have a demonstrated track record of not caring about their children. As you are pushed down towards poverty, social workers can administer your money to spend, spend, spend, on those that Darwin would classify as specialist bottom feeders.

Yes, happy worker. Your taxpaying gives hope to taxspenders.

Pat yourself on the back.

Mmmm, mush!

Here is a taxpayers mush meal that will help you happy workers work happy as you earn taxes for taxspenders to spend:

Mush, the food of choice of collectivist chairman Joseph Stalin was served to young and old in his re-education and recycling holiday camps all across the happy Soviet Union. Updated to meet our modern needs, mush is both enviro friendly and politically correct. If any of your co-workers are not smiling when they eat this, you can denounce them to the local Human Rights Tribunal. Watch them closely.

What you need:

Can of tuna
Can of beans

Instructions:

Open the can of beans and put in a microwave safe bowl. Open the can of tuna and put in the same microwave safe bowl. Mush them together with your hand, squeezing the tasty beans and tuna through your fingers like mush does when you squish it in your hands. Be sure to add all the nutritious liquid that comes with the beans and tuna in the can.

Serve as is. Eat with your hands to celebrate third world culture.

Variants.

a) Heat in the microwave until just lip smacking right. (Cost: 5 carbon credits)

b) Use a spoon to eat with. (Cost: 5 carbon credits)

c) Heat and use a spoon. (Cost: 15 carbon credits)

d) Eat in darkness. (You get a quarter privilege token)

State mandated recycling directives. According to the Recycling Edict, chapter 12, section 402, paragraphs 1104 through 1106 (especially sub-paragraph b):

All cans are to be washed before recycling in HOT WATER (see definition and quality standards of HOT WATER in chaper 44, section 24, paragraph 18 through 801) with STERILIZER (see definition and quality standards of STERILIZER in chapter 46, section 2, paragraph 14 through 78).

All paper is to be removed from the can before recycling (see GENERAL RULE 400, SUB-GENERAL RULE 400-2-1, and notes to SUB-GENERAL RULE 400-2-1 in the INDEX to SUB-GENERAL RULES).

See also:

Rules on recycling recycling wash water.
Rules on recycling labels removed from cans.
Rules on recycling sterilizer used to wash cans.
Rules on recycling water contaminated with sterilizer used to wash cans for recycling.
Rules on recycling labels contaminated with sterilizer.

Questions about recycling are to be addressed to the Questions Sub-directorate Q of the Recycling Directorate.

You receive five privilege tokens for denouncing others for Recycling Crimes. Bonus of ten for family members or heteronormatives.

Heil Gaia!

Send me your money for more mush mixtures you can make others make for you to serve others.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Morning Mush, you magnificent Hero!

As you wake up this morning, do not let your heart be heavy, oh Happy Workers. Sadly, this is Sunday, a day of not working. Not working means no taxes paid to do your part to support the mighty vast welfare state.

Pleasure yourself: let the water run hot before you make your Morning Victory Coffee. Open up a can of canned cereal from the food reserve! You have worked hard all week, supporting taxspenders, and now you can have four and a half minuites to savour the elastic goodness of pre-soaked, pre-microwaved cereal.

Think of the others who have been awake all night, fighting the monsters that would otherwise disturb your sleep. They have fended off the Five Great Disasters, each of which is worse than Global Warming. They have stopped the expansion of vast militirized capitalist factions, and managed to recycle at the same time.

Let us smile as we think about our Heroes of Political Correctness as we eat the mush and sip our Victory Coffee.

The War between Good and Evil

Improving Collectivism. This is why you work. Smile and be happy.

Improved Collectivismism. Now that we accept that Collectivism can be improved, we can now develop a strategy to do just that. This will require lots of government handouts, and a truckload of office paper according to the following schedule:

8am to 5pm Four truckloads per hour (Opportunistic and Semi-Prepared Paper Production)
5pm to 12pm Two truckloads per hour (Pre-preparation of next day products)
12am to 8am Sixteen truckloads per hour (Central Batch Processing of Bulk Jobs)

Improved Collectivismismist. Are you a taxspender acting by talking because you believe that Collectivism Can Be Improved? The you are an Improved-Collectivismismist.

Victory Coffee for all, along with donuts and a tub of ration bran-yoghurt!

Monday is the best day of the week!

Loyal and productive workers always start working at work at least a half hour early, especially on Monday.

It is out of your warm bed and into the cold world early on Monday. Because Monday is the greatest day of the week! That is the day when you have another four days of taxpaying ahead of you.

Everybody likes to pay taxes! Taxes pay for other people who do not deserve to work to not work. Taxes also pay for activists to have adequate incentive packages, pensions, and parking spot access in heated garages. So, that is what is extra wonderful about Monday! Without your taxes, the homeless would not have any activists to agitate for more taxes to solve the problem of homelessness!

This day, Monday, is a No Complaining Day. So Smile and pretend to Be Happy. When people think other people like paying working to pay taxes to support activists, they support more taxes more often to support activists. When your boss brings you a shit sandwich, smile and ask for apple juice.

If you feel like complaining or not smiling, take a sharpened paperclip and spear the fleshy part of your hand ... the pain will remind you how happy you are to support those less fortunate than you, forever.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Onward, Happy Workers!

Today is Tuesday, happy workers!

Rise from your bed and gobble a tap warm mug of Victory Coffee!

Todays productivity slogan is: No Complaining About the Post Office, Postal Workers, or Postal Efficiency. During assigned breaks or just hanging out with your political commissar, make a point of not complaining about our heroic co-workers in our Statist Mail Delivery Service.

When the mail is late, or the service surly, smile and think productive worker thoughts.

No Complaining!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Victory Coffee

Onward, Happy Workers! Sunday is today, the day that loyal and productive workers gather in the morning to perform community service chores. Happy volunteerism day is Sunday! Lets get to work, workers!

Let's make Victory Coffee for everybody this morning! Run the tap to get the water hot! Fill a cracked mug almost full with hot tap water. Spoon in a teaspoon of Victory Coffee coffee crystals. Stir and enjoy! Mmmmm, Victory Coffee makes me smile before I go to my happy workplace! It makes me want to march to work! Happy worker am I!

Sunday's assigned collectivist community service is to go out and clean up dog turd. You must turn in your bag of dog turd to the Community Collectivist Community Center for inspection, a replacement green garbage bag, and a privilege token! Damaged or defective dog shit shovels may be inspected and repaired, or inspected and replaced, at this time after waiting in the defective dog shit shovel inspection and repair or replacement service queue. And enjoy your Victory Coffee while you have fun doing your assigned collectivist community service!

Acting Mayor Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, having discovered that in Mayor Lisa's absence, he is Regent.