Monday is the best day of the week!

Loyal and productive workers always start working at work at least a half hour early, especially on Monday.

It is out of your warm bed and into the cold world early on Monday. Because Monday is the greatest day of the week! That is the day when you have another four days of taxpaying ahead of you.

Everybody likes to pay taxes! Taxes pay for other people who do not deserve to work to not work. Taxes also pay for activists to have adequate incentive packages, pensions, and parking spot access in heated garages. So, that is what is extra wonderful about Monday! Without your taxes, the homeless would not have any activists to agitate for more taxes to solve the problem of homelessness!

This day, Monday, is a No Complaining Day. So Smile and pretend to Be Happy. When people think other people like paying working to pay taxes to support activists, they support more taxes more often to support activists. When your boss brings you a shit sandwich, smile and ask for apple juice.

If you feel like complaining or not smiling, take a sharpened paperclip and spear the fleshy part of your hand ... the pain will remind you how happy you are to support those less fortunate than you, forever.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.