Victory Coffee - (04/07/08)

Friday is the worst day of the week. If anyone asks you, that is the correct answer. Happy Workers are happiest on Monday, especially around the start of work on Monday. That is the correct reason to use to support your correct answer.

Friday is a sign the week of tax earning for tax spenders to spend is over.

Todays privilege token is grey, again. Yes, because of the legendary efficiency of your non-ability management (hired and promoted on the basis of anything but efficency), there is a Global Warming fighting surplus of prune mush. Mmmmm, prune mush!

You can earn the grey privilege token by turning the office clock back an hour. Squeeze more work out of your fellow workers, Happy Worker! You can denounce all those that complain as racists. Are they wearing a clothes peg to show that they resist sleep while earning taxable income to support those that sleep while you work?

Be always smiling, Happy Worker!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Victory Coffee - (03/07/08)

Victory Coffee! Shout it out as you perform your daily work, as you earn taxable income to pay for those that do not.

Yes, the have nots and won't dos need you, Happy Worker. From the first beggar you pass on your sleepy shuffle to the urine stinking public transit, to the second beggar that has a better cell phone than you, to the third, whose inadequate disability pension barely keeps him in his apartment, and restricts him to a four week vacation in Cuba every year.

Happy Worker, put a smile on your face. Grumblers are traitors. They manifest the outer signs of not niceness. Not good. Ungood.

As you pour your packet of Victory Coffee into the warm tap water in your Victory Coffee Mug, smile for those whom Darwin called the unfit, because without the unfit there would be no employment for appeasers and accomodaters of the unfit. And without that, you would have no reason to pay and pay and pay for their salaries, pensions, and benefits.

Todays privilege is a grey privilege token. You can earn yourself an extra ladle of prune mush with this beauty. Mmmmmm.

Get to work, happy worker.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Victory Coffee - (02/07/08)

What a beautiful day to be working so that others do not have to work. Refreshed with your tapwater warm cup of victory coffee, you look forward to another day of making plenty for others who make nothing.

Todays campaign is The Great Leaders Campaign for Roughage. Without frequent reinforcements of fibre, the colon becomes tired and lazy. And what better way to push out the evil anti-socialist thought than with a double helping of Bran muffins?

Show you care about those who don't care about their own families, by singing the patriotic slogan

(chorus) Make everyone else eat two muffins, too

Not One, not Three, but Two!
Hurrah for the Struggle for Increased Production!

Our Jackboots stomp on fingers and shoes
Warm coffee and donuts covered with sugar goo!


Extra bran muffins are available for loyal and productive workers who meet or exceed production quotas. Extra effort will be rewarded with additional tax burdens to fund the construction of safe injection sites at Toronto high schools and battered womens shelters.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, because I care.

Victory Coffee - (01/07/08)

Your place of work is a place of suffering! Here you toil and sweat to earn tax money to keep those few less fortunate and those many who make sure the less fortunate remain dependent on your efforts.

Todays efficiency campaign is to fight against work place sleeping. You know who these people are. Even if you do not know any shirkers, you can earn a green privilege token by denouncing a co-worker and placing a clothes peg on their skin to keep them awake. Show your loyalty to the Central Authority by putting a few clothes pegs on your own skin to show that you care, that you care more.

Your sleepless, painful efforts to earn wages which are decimated by taxes so that taxspenders can sleep and obtain services are appreciated by taxspender administrators, taxspender supervisors, and taxspender co-ordinators. Without your sacrifice, they would have no office space, padded chairs, or canary yellow photo copy paper.

The green privilege token gives you an extra ladle of cold boiled spinnich from the bottom of the food bucket, and one packet of fair trade pepper! Mmmmmm.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this because I care.

Victory Coffee - (30/06/08)

Oh, happy workers! What a great day to spend away from working at work to spend working at home!

Advance the cause of the taxspenders by attacking your compost pile! Sip your Victory Coffee * and sort through the precious organic material and search for forbidden items, like batteries, metal, and glass! Canada is a disarmed taxspenders paradise.


You have enjoyed your extra fifteen minuites sleep on this holiday which celebrates the Racist Shithole of Canada! Now, turn your mind to those whom you support with your taxes. They have no work to do, and are asleep while you pick through your compost. Their taxspender caregivers are denied the happiness that comes from hand sorting compost.

Todays privilege token is blue! Efficient workers who pass compost inspection will get a blue privilege token! You can use it to get an extra bottle of water.

Sing the Mitchieville Victory Song * , you are so happy to work and pay taxes to support those who sleep while you work!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this because I care.

THE MITCHIEVILLE VICTORY SONG

We are together, together we are.
Are we together? Together we are.
Together we are, we are together!

We work for peace, peace works for us.
Does peace work for us? We work peace.
We work for peace, peace works for us!

We work for Victory Coffee, Victory Coffee works for us.
Does Victory Coffee work for us? We work for Victory Coffee.
We work for Victory Coffee, Victory Coffee works for us!

We are happy to pay our taxes, Taxes are happy when we pay them.
Are taxes happy when we pay them? We are happy to pay our taxes!
Thank you taxes, We Will Pay You!

Hurrah! Hurrah! HURRAH!

Copyright Mayor Mitch, Fenris Badwulf, and Reg Reginaldson

As ratified by The Mitchieville Cabinet at the third session of the general cabinet meeting earlier this week, in honour of  the wedding of His Worship, Mitch, The Mayor of Mitchieville to The First Lady, The Little Danish Girl , the following resolutions are passed:

1. That this Saturday, June 14, 2008, be declared a statutory holiday in all of the sovereign dominions that this blog reaches.

2. At the hour of 9pm on the night of June 14, 2008 an alcohol toast (or two or three) shall be made by Mitchieville residents in honour of The Mayoral Couple.

3.  As Environment Canada has called for rain this Saturday, animal sacrifice offerings made in the name of Set, The Snake God, shall  be made at sunrise on the morning of the 14th by Darcey, Dmorris, Todd and Linds.

4.  Lord Fenris, in conjunction with the Minister of Finance will issue a rare Victory Latte this Sunday morning instead of the usual  watered down Victory Coffee.

5. Gifts are expected and can be forwarded to the Munitions Ministry where Reg will keep them safe from the hands of unscrupulous telemarketers until opened by The First Couple. (Fenris Badwulf abstained from this resolution)

6. Citizens of this hallowed and Nobel blog are advised that non-compliance of the above resolutions will be harshly punished.  The right to publish pithy and sarcastic comments at Mitchieville will be suspended until reviewed by the Punishment Review Board (Mayoral Protocol  Sub-Committee) monthly meeting at the Mitchieville Public Library. Those residents found guilty of non-compliance will only be allowed to watch Rosie O'Donnell Show reruns until appropriate reparations have been made to The First Couple.

 

Long Live Mayor Mitch and our First Lady TLDG!

 

Issued by Order of the Mitchieville Cabinet , 12 June 2008