The Ticket

With all eyes on Mitchieville now that the election is officially official, the burning question is where has Lisa been? Unlike the other candidates who have been spending their time loudly throwing around insults and false allegations hoping to discredit the competition, I have been out on the streets actively gathering support for my campaign. It's time for change and I'm going to make change happen by changing the way things are done in Mitchieville.

To this end, I purchased, at Sargon's expense, a pair of boots appropriate to the campaign trail. Sargon is now out on a Reconnaissance mission and will report back soon.
I have decided upon a running mate. Have the other candidates announced their running mates? Of course not. The Mayor is too busy drinking whiskey while forging memos and Fenris is occupied with other people's money. As for Todd, he is not an eligible candidate for Mayor because he wasn't born in Mitchieville, and even if he were a contender, he hasn't named a running mate either because he is too busy blogging.

Without further ado, the Minister of Munitions, Reg Reginaldson, has accepted the offer to run as my deputy mayoral candidate. This upstanding father of two fine offspring has never been chased by National Enquirer reporters, though I might note Mitch was scandalously caught and filmed hiding in the washroom of the hotel where his mistress was staying. Reg also does not and has never subscribed to the Toronto Star, nor relied on the CBC for the news. It is true Reg and I have had our differences in the past, but principles and morals transcend petty differences. Sure, he can't cook, but I can. Food and weapons are a necessary condition for existence. Combine this with the oratory skills of my campaign manager dmorris along with the divinatory talents of Sargon the Magnificent and you have a winning team. Never will an election be desired again.

Vote Lisa Foggy for Mayor of Mitchieville. It's time for some serious change. Take back the night along with your money.

Inside Mitchieville - August 31, 2008

Loyal readers of Mitchieville may have noticed a certain lack of Friday Night Flesh posts. This is because I put too much salt peter in the staff drinking water. Perhaps a quick peek at my ruthlessly efficient office assistant, Sonjia DeSade (whose hair is black this week), will act to fill the void. I must say, the red latex ensemble does go well with her current color of hair. Sonjia DeSade is a feminist, and holds down several paid positions to that effect. Although, as the philosopher Samantha Fox once said, that could be fun * .

Never one to shirk responsibility, Mitchieville embraces alternate cultural solutions to our health care crisis. Here, an eastern european practice called something or the other, is used to make hysterical, neurotics feel better. You too can experience this safe alternate to lorazepam derived pharmaceuticals when you patronize the Fenris Badwulf Dojo of Psychoanalysis. I am always happy to take your money.




Let this serve as a warning to you. This unfortunate can only be identified by the Che Guevara shirt he was wearing before he burst into flames. Maybe it was a modifed microwave device, tuned to human skin. Whatever, he caught on fire. Whoosh!. Luckilly, a journalist was on hand to film his incineration, so we can all learn from his example.


This inspiring wall mural decorates one of the phone rooms at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. It captures the spirit of obstacle handling quite well, do you not think?



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Another one of those pictures that I use to trigger post-hypnotic suggestions. Neat, eh? If you take a my Hypnosis and Telemarketing course at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. you can learn all about how to pre-program your employees for superior results, inter-management sex, and counter-competitor missions. I like the snake theme, too.



I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Inside Mitchieville - August 25, 2008

Fenris left instructions that Today's theme is 'Beauties'. What the heck does that mean? Fenris has a folder in his Pictures folder with this title. These are five selections from that folder. You better find someone else to blame if he gets pissed off.


Ah, the beautiful Britney Spears. I got this picture from a post that the Mayor did, some time ago. I forced others to use it as their desktop for some time, until the tragic fire and suicide, anyway. We may have issues with Britney, because of her choice of friends, or that troll whats his name, but the darling is rather nice to look at. I suspect this picture belongs to Fenris' 'dumb and rich' phase of romantic involvement.




Always one of Fenris' favourites, the exquisite Bianca Beauchamp * is both an ideal choice for governor general and as eyecandy. Certainly, her taste for latex fetish clothing draws the eye of the most jaded sophisticate, but you have to admit, she is beautiful.


This innocent creature seems a little out of place in a corset. While the tight fashions of the eye candy for men market do have their place, I suspect that this one would do well with just her cheek bones and sensible shoes.








Fenris keeps this picture in his Beauties folder. Unlike the latex clad, corseted legions that are so neatly sorted by riding crop and stilleto boot, this one seems to appeal to a memory of his, rather than a fantasy. Indeed, if you do have access to Fenris' memories, you can see a similarity to someone from long ago.


This is a portrait of someone that Fenris summoned using that Ouiji board he pilfered from Sargon. When you click to enlarge, you get a full measure of that beauty that originates from the British Isles that is now so rare in Hollywood. Unlike his English forebearers, Fenris makes pagan offerings to this portrait, on a simple altar with candles, a bowl of water, a knife, a golden idol of Set, the Snake God, and a curious stick made of the branch of an almond tree. I wonder how many villages Fenris will have burnt for this one.


I, cringing minion ikthis was forced to write this for Fenris while he sported with his mistress by the pool where she hand fed him fresh fruit, fetched coffee and the morning newspaper, and placed slippers close to his feet.

Inside Mitchieville - August 25, 2008

This is one of the images I use to trigger post-hypnotic suggestions in people whom I have planted post-hypnotic suggestions. These types of images always have a creepy element to them. This sure is a creepy picture!




Here is my ruthlessly efficient personal assistant Sonjia DeSade in her practical office attire. Sonjia is a feminist whose taste in clothes runs to the practical, as you can see. She teaches one of the hand-to-hand combat courses at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence, an area of study that supplements any of a number of courses of practical value taught there.



This is a picture I find to be evocative of spiritual values. It hangs in my private sanctum, which you can reach easily when you know how to get into the secret passage, and past the booby-trapped door, elevator panel, and drinking fountain.


A picture of one of our hard working staff in the Ministry of Munitions. It is nice to personalize your work space, is it not? I encourage all of the staff here at Mitchieville to personalize their space, and to express their unique culture through what they wear, hair styles, or just about anything.


When you click to enlarge this wholesome picture of a sculpture of Set, the Snake God, you will see the quaint childrens playground that is close to my home in Toronto. Here also you see the Flower of Ungbad, which symbolizes the top heavy inefficiency of bureaucracy, and the green, half submerged paperclip that shows the correct relationship between tax collectors and tax spenders. I get all choked up, just thinking about it.




I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Inside Mitchieville - August 18, 2009

Inside Mitchieville is my way of sharing with you some of the art that has touched my progressive soul. And when you hear the word progressive, you should check to make sure your wallet has not been lifted. Click to enlarge ...

This is a depiction of the peaceful earth before the white man made Global Warming. The Allosaurus has just finished a meal of raspberries, and is looking for a handi-wipe from his friends, the Canada Geese. Global Warming is bad. You should send me your money so I can help you feel better.


The raised fist is the universal symbol of 'send up a UN trained negotiator'. The peacekeeper being disintegrated is equipped with a taser. I hope the SIU investigates the unlawful use of force by the peacekeepers. They are acting scary and mean.


This is one of those pictures I use to trigger post-hypnotic commands. If you are one of those people, you will have gone off to take out the hidden electronic equipment, the counterfeit ID, and the drugged seven layer dip, and you will not be reading this.


It is good to reach out and engage in dialogue, to share viewpoints, and to learn about other cultures. The squished, charred, crispy, and pulped furry critters are activists who demanded gun control to stop crime. The gentle giant with the built in disintegration ray is on bail for two separate incidents where he was alleged to have squished, charred, crisped, and pulped furry creatures.

Someone better complain to the Human Rights Commission. Oppressed minorities are under represented in this work place. Where are the feminists? Why did the artist choose a white male to be representative of people who 'work'? Progressive activists will fill their diapers when they see this bigoted depiction.


I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Inside Mitchieville - August 16, 2008

The chopsticks in her hair are the only thing you need to notice to know that Lynxia is our new hire in the cafeteria at the Mitchieville Municipal offices. While Lisa * did assist me in the hiring process (specifically, that ability stuff), I do prefer to take a hands on approach for training. Lynxia is prepared to serve, and satisfy you in all your needs, slake your desires, stroke your appetites, and tempt you with excess. She neither bites nor is allergic to the taste of peanut oil.

Set, the Snake God, has been with us for a long time. This ancient manuscript celebrates the ritual of digestion that those who are disliked by worshipers undergo as they journey along the path of perfection. Set, the Snake God is the falsest god, whose worshipers celebrate with sexual excess, debauched rituals, and feeding business rivals to reptiles.

Our math students have been using the Tarot to explore their feelings about Active Set Analysis . My talented personal assistant Sonjia DeSade has been tutoring the class. What could be better for our math students than to explore different cultures? The outdated traditional approaches to mathematics are rather ability based, are they not? While professor Michael J. Best * does a better job of explaining this subject, Sonjia is much nicer to look at, and she uses Tantric Yoga in tutorial.

This is a picture that I use in diversity and sensitivity training for my legions of Telemarketers. It captures the important lessons that Set, the Snake God teaches us. Firstly, always be closing. Secondly, overcome obstacles. Thirdly, ask for the sale. All of these things can be seen in this picture. Like Beauregard (the croc pictured here), you may not always get the whole commission, but trying gets rewards. See how happy Beauregard is? You can tell from his eyes. He loves the taste of mayonaise.

It is amazing how those forest elves manage to sport trendy fashions with man pleasing shapes and colours. Does Tolkein ever mention that elves have red hair, green eyes, and bare, upthrust, scented cleavage? And as for the twinkling fairy dust, that through purest coincidence, accessorizes perfectly with this one's eyes and bustier, we can only assume that the elves use Mega Butter * in the making of elvish way bread.


I, Fenris Badwulf, dictated this to a subjugated minion (who lives in fear), whilst reclining in a hammock under a shady tree in a gentle breeze, being hand fed mango and other drippy fruits by my talented personal assistant Sonjia DeSade, who dabs at the drops that fall on my naked skin with a scented towel.

Inside Mitchieville - August 11, 2008

This is one of the propaganda posters that adorn one of the underground munitions factories here in Mitchieville. It shows what we are up against: the lack of munitons needed to crush America and everything it stands for. Thats why we need more government spending: to hire telemarketers to raise money to fund a study on how to successfully invade America.




This is what a red head looks like. Even wearing simple office clothes, such as this corset, stockings, and with an alluring, scented cleavage, this is still a red head. Liberated feminist, as all Toronto girls are now, this one can still bring peril to a heteronormatives heart. Her name is Catherine, and she works as a tart. And what a fetching tart she is too.





This is the tart Catharine wearing a disguise to hide her inner nature. It is not easy to see a resemblance between the above and the below pictures, now is it? Even in common office clothing. You can see girls like this on public transit all the time in Toronto because it is a liberated place.






Another propaganda poster, but this one is from the Mitchieville Public Library. It shows how to put those capitalist pig-dogs in their place. Weapons are not needed, just lots of valiant workers. We can defeat America with lots of men, women, and trans-gendered heros, armed with only bamboo spears and hand grenades. The Marines will just run away, like in that movie The Green Beret. Those americans always betray themselves in their own cinema.



This poster was not accepted for propaganda purposes. It depicts some very politically incorrect concepts, such as women as equals in the work place (they should be victims); caring for soldiers (she should be working in an abortion clinic; and who says soldiers have to be able bodied men with ability?); a mother welcoming home her veteran soldier son (she should be spitting on soldiers). Let us hope we do not run into these sort of people in our advancing of our activist agenda.


I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

A blue privilege token to the Minister of Munitions for the links to where I got the posters. But as for the red heads, that will only cost you half price. I care.

Inside Mitchieville - August 9, 2008

Yes, the evils of smoking. This is a poster from the anti-smoking advocacy group Opposition Now! This group was formed from concerned student activists at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. Just looking at this feminist makes me want to stop smoking, thats for sure. Maybe after I light her up. It is important to not look at women as objects of desire, pleasurable opposites, and scented playthings. Nope. Not me.


You can learn alot at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. Like dealing with self esteem issues, goal setting, and handling mistakes. Take the beautiful Miss Magnolia here. She made a mistake. Falling in love with a bum. Then she took the Insurance 101 and 102 course at the school, setting a goal of success, which helped her to build self esteem. Now, after the tragic (and double indemnity) accident, she can look forward to the season in Florence, to grieve, to mourn, and to learn to paint.

What is it about women who like to wear bunny rabbit outfits and kneel in the grass in the back yard during languid summer days and Taurus men? Trixie here comes to us from Hanover, Ontario, where she grew up on a farm, surrounded by critters and crops. Now she is here in Mitchieville looking for that perfect man, based on a horoscope she got from some telemarketer on the internet. Trixie is a feminist ... she is empowered to wash out grass stains.


Making good food choices is an empowering experience. Choosing a healthy alternative, like Omega-3 rich milk, is important for the modern feminist woman struggling in a male dominated world.


Animal rights activism is an important part of the curricula at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. Here two students are preparing a consciousness raising act for the edification of staff and students. Tickets to the school play are only 750 dollars. Private seminars are available. Visa, Mastercard, or American Express.



I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. You know I care.

Inside Mitchieville - August 10, 2008

Our education system is in the vanguard of fighting anti-multi-culturalism. And what better way than to have a poster competition in math class raising awareness about diversity. Here youth are encouraged to be accepting of poisonous reptiles and fight against negative stereotypes. (The snake is a black mamba)




This is a poster used to raise awareness about the evils of smoking. It is very popular with teenage boys, so it must be effective. The model, my assistant Sonjia DeSade, has red hair this week. Sonjia has a diversity of hair colours, and is adept at expressing alternate viewpoints that all agree with political correctness. Priceless.







You can never go wrong with corporate art. This is one of the new pieces hanging in the atrium of convocation hall at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. It depicts an early mosasaur experimenting with vegetarianism by eating not just eggs, but the creature that lays the eggs, too. Not quite vegan, but then again, Toronto's segregated school is not segregation.


Another picture of Sonjia DeSade, demonstrating the value of sex in advertising. Here she is promoting our Red Flag campaign to suppress hate speech. This photo must have been taken a few weeks ago, because her hair was black then (it is red now).




Those of you that like to play chess at lunch at the Mitchieville People's Park will recognize this fellow, chess master Azaziel. Although a social conservative and a Christian, Azaziel makes time to seek out progressives and 'godless Fenians' (that is ebonic for progressives) for a friendly game of chess.



This just in: Should I hire this guy as an assassination double for the next election for Mayor of Mitchieville * ?

Inside Mitchieville - July 22, 2008

If only that heteronormative meanie Guy Earle * could see this website * , I am sure that he would never hold a harsh emotion towards the people who are trying to crush him. Exploring that site just proves that stereotypes do not and never have existed. Guy Earle should become a telemarketer.



Everybody has a place of safety, where they go when stressed. This is mine. Only a few of us in Toronto are interested in Hypergolic fuels * as an alternative to wasteful, polluting carbon. This is where we go to explore alternative final solutions. It is like a home for Hobbits, only Smaug would feel welcome and included there too.



As a personal growth initiative, I am replacing the plastic handles on all kitchen utensils, shop tools, and gardening implements. Note the use of wood, here. Wood is both easy to recycle, it is also a sustainable resource. I care about the planet. And your sex partner will become sexually aroused at your sensitive nature.




Devotees of Set, the Snake God will recognize this touching ritual which illustrates the virtue of sharing. It harkens back to the parable of the two crocodiles and the monkey ... who gets the front quarter, who gets the back; and who gets stuck with the giblets.



This is one of those secret society things that will make your activist co-workers squeek, and then ramble about how the struggle with depression and mental illness justifies their low effort, high paying job. What do all those symbols mean? It sure is alot more interesting to look at than the smeared feces of street graffiti.




I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Inside Mitchieville - July 11, 2008

This is a still photograph from a video Fenris uses to motivate the telemarketing staff. I do not know how it motivates his Hungry Sales Wolves.











This is a portrait that Fenris has facing the walk in fireplace he has in his larger office. He has several offices, just like Herman Goering, depending on who it is he wishes to see, and what he wishes to have done to them. I used to clean and reload the shotgun he has built into his desk, until I got promoted to under-lackey.



Anyone who wishes to stick around Mitchieville knows how much the Mayor loves cats. This is Mister Whiskers, one of the many adorable house cats that infest the municipal offices. This picture is unusual in that the shadow matches the cat. You get used to it, after a while. My nightmares have stopped, thanks to Fenris, who gives me drugs.


This is one of the mathematics teachers in a Toronto High School, doing a performance artistry thing for Pride Season. Your guess is as good as mine as to what set of genitalia are hiding behind that sticky balloon. This picture is going to be used in the 'Does it matter in the dark' consciousness raising campaign.




This is one of Fenris' favourite pieces which hangs in his inner sanctum, where from his onyx desk he can see the circular pool where Beauregard the Crocodile lives. I do not know what Fenris likes most about this: the latex gloves, the snake at the feet, the apple, or the hashish incense. Maybe the high heeled slippers with the fluffy feathers.



Fenris Badwulf is incredibly busy right now, working for You, The People of Mitchieville. But even though he is busy, he has found the time to force me to do his work for him. Fenris Badwulf cares.