The Ticket

With all eyes on Mitchieville now that the election is officially official, the burning question is where has Lisa been? Unlike the other candidates who have been spending their time loudly throwing around insults and false allegations hoping to discredit the competition, I have been out on the streets actively gathering support for my campaign. It's time for change and I'm going to make change happen by changing the way things are done in Mitchieville.

To this end, I purchased, at Sargon's expense, a pair of boots appropriate to the campaign trail. Sargon is now out on a Reconnaissance mission and will report back soon.
I have decided upon a running mate. Have the other candidates announced their running mates? Of course not. The Mayor is too busy drinking whiskey while forging memos and Fenris is occupied with other people's money. As for Todd, he is not an eligible candidate for Mayor because he wasn't born in Mitchieville, and even if he were a contender, he hasn't named a running mate either because he is too busy blogging.

Without further ado, the Minister of Munitions, Reg Reginaldson, has accepted the offer to run as my deputy mayoral candidate. This upstanding father of two fine offspring has never been chased by National Enquirer reporters, though I might note Mitch was scandalously caught and filmed hiding in the washroom of the hotel where his mistress was staying. Reg also does not and has never subscribed to the Toronto Star, nor relied on the CBC for the news. It is true Reg and I have had our differences in the past, but principles and morals transcend petty differences. Sure, he can't cook, but I can. Food and weapons are a necessary condition for existence. Combine this with the oratory skills of my campaign manager dmorris along with the divinatory talents of Sargon the Magnificent and you have a winning team. Never will an election be desired again.

Vote Lisa Foggy for Mayor of Mitchieville. It's time for some serious change. Take back the night along with your money.