Inside Mitchieville - August 16, 2008

The chopsticks in her hair are the only thing you need to notice to know that Lynxia is our new hire in the cafeteria at the Mitchieville Municipal offices. While Lisa * did assist me in the hiring process (specifically, that ability stuff), I do prefer to take a hands on approach for training. Lynxia is prepared to serve, and satisfy you in all your needs, slake your desires, stroke your appetites, and tempt you with excess. She neither bites nor is allergic to the taste of peanut oil.

Set, the Snake God, has been with us for a long time. This ancient manuscript celebrates the ritual of digestion that those who are disliked by worshipers undergo as they journey along the path of perfection. Set, the Snake God is the falsest god, whose worshipers celebrate with sexual excess, debauched rituals, and feeding business rivals to reptiles.

Our math students have been using the Tarot to explore their feelings about Active Set Analysis . My talented personal assistant Sonjia DeSade has been tutoring the class. What could be better for our math students than to explore different cultures? The outdated traditional approaches to mathematics are rather ability based, are they not? While professor Michael J. Best * does a better job of explaining this subject, Sonjia is much nicer to look at, and she uses Tantric Yoga in tutorial.

This is a picture that I use in diversity and sensitivity training for my legions of Telemarketers. It captures the important lessons that Set, the Snake God teaches us. Firstly, always be closing. Secondly, overcome obstacles. Thirdly, ask for the sale. All of these things can be seen in this picture. Like Beauregard (the croc pictured here), you may not always get the whole commission, but trying gets rewards. See how happy Beauregard is? You can tell from his eyes. He loves the taste of mayonaise.

It is amazing how those forest elves manage to sport trendy fashions with man pleasing shapes and colours. Does Tolkein ever mention that elves have red hair, green eyes, and bare, upthrust, scented cleavage? And as for the twinkling fairy dust, that through purest coincidence, accessorizes perfectly with this one's eyes and bustier, we can only assume that the elves use Mega Butter * in the making of elvish way bread.


I, Fenris Badwulf, dictated this to a subjugated minion (who lives in fear), whilst reclining in a hammock under a shady tree in a gentle breeze, being hand fed mango and other drippy fruits by my talented personal assistant Sonjia DeSade, who dabs at the drops that fall on my naked skin with a scented towel.