PETA lacks nutrients

PETA has the answer to the problem of illegal immigration:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals plans today to announce an unusual marketing pitch to the U.S. government: Rent us space on the fence for billboards warning illegal border crossers there is more to fear than the Border Patrol.

The billboards, in English and Spanish, would offer the caution: "If the Border Patrol Doesn't Get You, the Chicken and Burgers Will — Go Vegan."

"We think that Mexicans and other immigrants should be warned if they cross into the U.S. they are putting their health at risk by leaving behind a healthier, staple diet of corn tortillas, beans, rice, fruits and vegetables," said Lindsay Rajt, assistant manager of PETA's vegan campaigns.

[..] PETA says its billboards would picture "fit and trim" Mexicans in their own country, where their diet is more in line with the group's mission. Another image on the sign would portray obese American children and adults "gorging on meaty, fat- and cholesterol-packed American food."

Though tortillas, beans, rice, vegetables, and fruit are readily available in the US, PETA representatives are assuming the savages are too weak and ignorant to resist the temptations of McDonald's and Frito-Lay. Best they return to their own villages in fear of what awaits them on the other side, followed by PETA people, hankering after a diet in line with their mission. Will they bring bottled water along?

cp: The London Fog

Jessica Simpson--Meat Eater

PETA had some harsh words for Jessica Simpson after the blond bombshell wore a t-shirt that said...well, you have eyes, look at the picture:

"Jessica Simpson's meaty wardrobe malfunction makes us thankful that no one is looking to her for food advice. Chicken of the sea anyone? The woman who thought that Buffalo 'Wings' came from buffalos would benefit from some good veggie brain food."

And the debate continues. On the one hand you have a Peta--a bunch of brain-dead lunatics who want to control people's lives through taking away their choices, and on the other hand you have a beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous blonde with big tits who wants to eat meat.

Round one--Jessica Simpson

PETA Has Gone To The Rats

Protesting against Lowe's Hardware stores policy of selling glue traps, a PETA protester dressed only in a bikini, mouse ears and a tail, laid in a simulated glue trap on the side of the road right across the street from where Lowe's held its annual shareholders meeting:

“They ensnare any small animal that crosses their path. They are absolutely indiscriminate, so mice, birds, even kittens have been caught on these. They struggle to free themselves for days until they finally starve to death,” said PETA spokesperson Cassandra Curbelo.

WSOCTV.com contacted Lowe’s to get a response to both the protest and the assertion that glue traps are inhumane. The Charlotte-area Fortune 500 company replied quickly.

“The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) recommends glue traps as a safe and affordable alternative to poisons, and we are committed to providing our customers with the options they request. We have also listened to PETA’s concerns and have changed our merchandise offering to cut in half the number of glue traps we offer,” said Lowe’s spokesperson Chris Ahearn.

What have we learned here today? Did we learn that even under the most miniscule of pressure, corporate America is willing to grab their ankles and say ahhhhhhhhh? No, that's a gimme. Did we learn that PETA is willing to let diseased vermin over-run the world and let humans get sick because PETA are a bunch of agenda-driven idiots with too much time on their hands and not enough brains in their skulls? No, that's another gimme. What have we learned then? We learned that if you build a giant glue trap, hot vegetarian women with large feet and flat tummies will lay down in it and wait for you to come home and sex them up until you run out of cheese.

However, what good is sex though if the woman isn't a meat eater? Ponder that, pervert.

Eff PETA

NEXT--What the Hell Am I?

ALSO--5 Great Links

More Jackassery For PETA

Steve O of Jackass fame is the latest celebrity to pose naked for PETA. I can't think of a better spokesperson for PETA than Steve O. He may not eat meat, but he eats his own puke. And no one can resist a classy guy like Steve O, because he eats his own puke. I'm sure most meat eaters will now turn into vegetarians, especially now that PETA has a spokesperson that eats his own puke.

Maybe PETA can really drive the point home and find someone who eats their own shit. Or has Steve O already conquered that mountain?

Alicia Silverstone In A PETA AD--She Was Also In Clueless

Alicia Silverstone, star of Clueless (the movie, not her real life), is in a new series of ads for PETA:

"I'm Alicia Silverstone, and I'm a vegetarian," the 30-year-old says in the PETA spot. "There's nothing in the world that's changed me as much as this. I feel so much better and have so much more energy."

Good for you.

I find that the only people more annoying in this world than reformed smokers are vegetarians. I'm so fed up with all the sanctimonious preaching these little pricks do, I'd like to sew their mouths shut, but not before I force feed them a dozen chicken wings marinated in puppy blood.

It's the Hollyweirdo vegetarians that get under my skin. Other *normal* vegetarians like Lisa are cool about meat eaters, she isn't preachy and bitchy about it. Maybe it's because she believes in freedom, unlike those non-meat eating ass suckers in Hollyweird.

These malcontents don't understand that for every time they come on the radio and TV and tell us how great they are for being a vegetarian and how bad we are because we are meatatarians, it just makes me double my meat eating efforts. Tomorrow I'm going to eat two hamburgers, 3 lbs of veal and possibly a panda bear, if I can steal one from the zoo.

I also call bullshit on vegetarians claiming they are so healthy. For every vegetarian second rate actress like Alicia Silverstone (clueless HA), there are 100 meat eating Jessica Simpson and Gemma Atkinsons. And truth be told, I'd rather be feeding from the ample milk-bags Gemma has hanging from her meat-eating frame than sucking on those mosquito bites Alicia has drooping from her emaciated veggie chest.

Ya, so that's it.

PETA Kills Animals

You may have a little trouble clearly seeing the chart, I suggest clicking on it for a bigger picture and then coming back here.

According to this chart, from July 1998 through December 2005, PETA have euthanized over 14,000 defenceless animals. Why, you ask? PETA president Ingrid Newkirk says it's because it costs more to keep animals than it does to kill them.

There are two reasons why I believe PETA butchers so many animals: Firstly, they don't want you to have them. Animal rights activists believe that all animals should be free, not owned by humans and certainly not caged. I truly believe they think Fifi is better off dead than laying on your lap and eating from a dog dish. Animals deserve to be free, even if it means they have to die.

Secondly, and I can't prove this: killing animals must be big business. I'm a firm believer that when something this atrocious happens in groups that are suppose to be benefiting this world, it's happening because someone somewhere is making money from it. Remember, always follow the money trail.

It's amazing that a group that screams bloody murder about the actions of Michael Vick, yells and screams at the average Joe for eating meat, can be such vicious barbarians when it comes to actually protecting the one's they claim to love. It's amazing, but not shocking, I've seen it too many times to count.

PETA adoptees have it ruff

Animal Rights Freak Threatens J Lo

Jennifer Lopez and husband (some guy) have added more personal security in lieu of death threats by animal rights activists:

An animal-rights extremist has been sending letters threatening 'to kill her in public, just like the slaughtered animals whose fur she wears."

A rep for J Lo says that she hasn't beefed up security, she's had the same detail for time immemorial.

Meanwhile, a rep for the peaceful PETA organization had this to say about the whole incident:

"All violence is wrong. But J.Lo needs to stop the real violence she promotes and subsidizes rather than give herself extra protection she doesn't need."

What the? Who the? Whu? Ababitatu? Whuba? Whubit? It sure sounds like this person is saying that if J Lo only stopped wearing fur (the violence she promotes), then she wouldn't need extra security. That sure sounds like a threat to me. And believe me, I'm the master at threats and intimidations, so I know a threat when I hear and or see one.

I'm not a bug fan of J Lo by any means, but I actually feel just a little sorry for her (and her enormous ass) tonight.

As for PETA, I'm going to shoot a dog through the heart with an arrow tonight and eat pooch all weekend. Ya, that's right, and it's going to be a really cute dog, like a golden retriever or a husky.

How can animals have rights?

Pamela Anderson-If At First You Don't Succeed

Reports out of Los Angeles has Pamela Anderson romantically involved with an old beau. No, it's not Kid rock again. No, it's not Scott Baio. It's that other idiot:

Pamela Anderson and rocker Tommy Lee have sparked reports they have rekindled their romance after being photographed kissing after a cosy lunch in Los Angeles.

Anderson split from Kid Rock last November after four months of marriage and has always remained close to her ex-husband Lee.

We all know that Pamela Anderson is a member of PETA. As a humanitarian and an animal lover, I am asking PETA to please let us put Pamela Anderson to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

I'll give you 9 reasons why Pamela went back with Tommy Lee

Your Daddy Kills Animals

I wish I could make the pic bigger, but I can't, it's just the way it is. You get the idea, however, if you like to catch or eat fish, you aren't much better than the Gestapo:

...starting on September 24, Fish Amnesty Day, activists will take to the water with their sights on dads who are teaching their kids to abuse animals.

PETA's pro-fish leaflet reminds fishers and their families that fish feel pain and fear when they are impaled in the mouth and ripped from their underwater homes and that they deserve to be treated with kindness, just like all animals.

The idea that PETA has come up with is brilliant: Make the children of the universe view their fathers as nothing more than sadistic, deranged killers.

And the idea that PETA activists will *take to the water* to teach kids and dad's about animal cruelty? That'll definitely work. The hunters and fishermen that I know absolutely LOVE being told how to conduct their lives, and I'm sure when a greasy, buck-toothed, filthy PETA activist comes to tell little Billy that his father is a murderer, that he won't be gutted like a trout.

PETA activists will sleep with the fish