Which God to Worship, Today?

As an activist, active in social causes at taxpayers expense, I celebrate moral relativism to my own material advantage. As a victim of something, and having learnt self-justification of evil in nursery school, I have convinced myself that this is right, and you should agree with me, because I say so.

This morning, I heard the close ka-boom of lightning strike nearby. As I incorporate many spare parts harvested from electrician donors, I was startled more than most. Then, as I crossed the street, the lightning struck again. I heard a woman scream in fear, and the sound of a pot of breakfast bean mush being dropped onto a ceramic floor. Then the rain began to pour and my baseball cap was soaked.

As I looked around, there was the natural manifestation of spring in southern Ontario. The maple trees are in blossom. Everywhere is growth and fertility. Yes, this day is ruled by Persephone, the Goddess of Spring. As a devotee of Set, the Snake God, I knew that I should walk the damp backstreets to seek to find her, and then could I ask her assistance in accounting matters.

Persephone is an easy lay, according to Robert Graves in some secret correspondence that we shared when I was in college. She manifests as a beautiful, lusty woman, bordering on bawdy. She likes sex with men, at first. And I wanted to be her first. You get hero points and some neat-o magic amulets as souvenirs.

The sun was still below the horizon, the third ka-boom of lightning sounded. There was a bright flash and the horned lightning rod above the Woodbine Subway station blow off red sparks and two burning bird nests. I doubled my resolve to seek out Persephone. With the sound of the fire engine came the familiar scent of Persephone's personal perfume. Oh, how I wished that I had the nose and eyes of a hungry wolf, to find her, when she was so close.

Are you searching for your own personal Persephone, brother? Or are you whoring after the wrong God at the wrong Time? You need my help to help you get more of the things you need. I can show you how to keep your alligators separate from the crocodiles, and the asps from the vipers. Just send me two twenty-five cent Canadian Tire Money (thats the purple bill) bills. I will send you an informative brochure and add you to the direct marketing data bank of Ontario.

On this day ask yourself: What Pagan diety rules your day? And then, How can I appease them for my advantage? Knowing that by becoming Persephone's lover, you incur the wrath of Pluto, her husband. He will hate your guts so much that he will refuse you entrance into his realm of darkness, effectively making you immortal.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, waiting with your package while waiting for your money.

akashic records also at DustMyBroom.com