MindTrap Friday

I haven't been blogging up a storm this week, I was actually out of the Province on some Mayor business. I was in the swamp (Montreal) for a few days, shaking hands, kissing babies and eating crepes. Actually, I may have been kissing hands, shaking babies and eating crepes. It may have been possible that I was actually in Montreal just eating babies. I can't remember, it's all an alcohol induced blur. Either way, I had a great time, I thoroughly enjoyed the weather.

I left during the major snowstorm we had in southern Ontario, and left Montreal as they had their major storm storm. Good times. I was hardly nervous at all, although my fingernails are like nubs now.

I was walking beside a lady Tuesday night in Montreal, the wind was coming out from the south at 75km/h, it was -32, and the snow made it a whiteout condition. I said to her, "How 'bout that global warming, pretty shitty, eh?" As God as my witness, she said to me, "This storm is because of global warming".

So there you have it. Whether it is 40 Celsius or -40 Celsius, it's all because of global warming.

Here are last week's MENSA answers:

1) As it is still light outside when Galilea goes to bed, all the monsters will still be asleep.

2) Brandon's NiceBoots™ had steel buckles on them. He removed them, along with all his chain mail, spikes, studs, splints, chains, big jewelry, and perhaps even large metal plates riveted to leather jackets, every time he came to a security check so as not to set off the metal defectors. He probably had his Gundy with the wrought iron chastity belt safely tucked away in a carry-on bag.

3)There are a number of ways of doing this; the quickest takes just 15 minutes from the start. Start both timers together. When the 7-minute timer is finished, turn it over immediately. It will then run for 4 minutes before the 11-minute time finishes. Turn the 7-minute timer over again at that point and it will measure a further 4 minutes; i.e. 15 minutes in total.

The only souls to answer the first question correctly are JayBird, Jihad Jimmy, MecEng and I'm going to say that Lindsay was correct, too.

2) Rob Huck, Anne, Darren, JayBird (by virtue of a correct alternative answer), Lindsay, Mac, Fenris, MechEng, and not Kton, although he/she gets 7/10 of a point for a well thought out answer.

3) Rob Huck, Darren (who openly cheated by looking at Rob's answer...actually, Darren gets 3/5 of a point), Lindsay, Mac, Fenris, Jihad Jimmy, MechEng, and Kton..who once again gets 7/10th of a point.

4) Everyone who answered. I couldn't figure out if you were joking, serious, or stoned....so everyone gets that one.

Which means that Lindsay is the MENSA head of the week. All praise be to Lindsay, she smoked you guys. I believe that Lindsay is the first woman to ever be crowned the MENSA head of the week. Since this isn't Saudi Arabia, I suppose we can't toss her in a pit and throw rocks at her head for being smarter than a man, so I'll give my heart-felt congratulations for a job well done, and display her plaque and picture in the MENSA head wall of fame.

Here are this week's questions. The first question is supplied by Mac

1) Three guys went to a restaurant to have dinner. They arrived early and took a seat in the lounge where they each ordered a drink. The bartender served them and charged each $10 for a total of $30.

When they went into the lounge, the bartender realized she’d overcharged them so she gave $5 to one of the restaurant servers, explained the situation and asked him to take it to the three and split it between them.

As the server was walking over, he realized he couldn’t split $5 evenly between three guys... and since they didn’t know how much they’d been overcharged, he decided to keep $2 for himself and give each guy a refund of $1 instead. Sneaky bastard!!

Here comes the tricky part...

Since each guy paid $10 (for a total of $30) and each got a $1 refund, that means they paid a total of $27. The server kept $2 (obviously a Liberal in training) but $27 + $2 is $29...

Where did the extra $1 go?

2) A man packs up all of the contents of his cubicle at work, promising to send out "Lateral Thinking" questions again once he gets settled in his new location. However, due to circumstances not entirely out of his control, after the move he decides not to unpack his belongings. If the cards containing the questions are still packed away, how is he able to continue the e-mail messages?

3) Against his better judgment Captain Frank attended Art Bragg's annual Christmas party. Captain Frank sat in a corner trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, when Art trapped him in one of his many tall tales. "Why yes," began Art, "even my days as a younger man were filled with adventures. That beautiful white rabbit skin and that 14 point moosehead on the wall are both from animals that I shot when I was just a lad of 12. I got them both up in Canada during my July 4th holidays. Two summers later I shot this beautiful bear you're sittin' your feet on." Captain Frank realizing that Art was just getting started, got up and said, "Art, excuse me, but I can't take your bull any longer." Why did Captain Frank say this?

4) What American city produces most of the egg rolls sold in grocery stores in the United States?

Technically, question four isn't a MENSA question, it's a trivia question, but what the hell, it's probably the most interesting question ever asked.

Remember, no lookie lookie at the other participants answers, that's a no-no. Mitchieville prides itself on fairness, equality, and the fact that we don't question the *science* behind global warming. If you keep that in mind, you will sleep better at night, have more sexual energy and generally be a better person. Cuz let's face it, right now as it stands, you can do a lot better. Am I right? Sure I am, meditate on my words.

I love you.