Sarah Jessica Parker is Gross, Hands Down

No thanks, Grandma, I'll pass on the hand-job.

What the hell did God do to Sarah Jessica Parker's hands? It's bad enough that he gave her a face like the remnants of something that was caught in a rat trap, but to go and give her hands like a corpse was just plain mean. It's as if she's trying to smuggle cooked spaghetti under her skin. By God, woman, for the sake of humanity, put on some fucking gloves. Or hockey mitts. Or don't come out when it's light out. Yikes.