Global Warming Warning

Citizens of Toronto, the most important city in North America, are looking out their windows at the baking sidewalks and rising waves of heat from the latest outrage of man-made Global Warming.

Lucky for the rest of Canada, the progressive village peoples of Toronto have heard the call of the loon and are not using their air conditioners during this latest baking dry heat wave. When will Global Warming end? When will snow be seen again in Canada? Will the oceans ever drop back to their former levels?

Only a few years ago the evil heteronormative white males filled in the scenic oceans of Kansas that sheltered billions of now extinct species. The truth is out there (link). If you have some kleenex ready, read this story about the daily life of one of the peaceful vegetarian inhabitants of the lost ocean of Kansas (link). This story should act as a cautionary tale to those who pollute the air with tobacco, use oil for heating or cooking, and resent telemarketers.

Only the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence gives training in Global Warming Warning Fundraising Techniques. Now is the time for you to take out your credit cards and invest in the future of the Most Important City on the Planet Earth, Toronto. Learn about the courses you can take to make you into a Hungry Sales Wolf, Hungry Sales Bear, or Hungry Administrative Assistant Locust. Send twenty dollars for your Free Catalogue and receive, as my gift to you, a copy of Fenris Badwulf's guide to Toronto Whorehouses.

If you care about Global Warming as much as Fenris Badwulf cares about spending your money to fund fundraising, then you should do what everyone else is doing and send me your money. Listen to the Call of the Loon. Hurry!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.