Tesco Removes a Pole-Dancing Kit

Relax, Polish people, I'm not talking about a Polish dancing kit, I'm talking about a pole-dancing kit. Silly Polacks.

From what I gather, Tesco is a giant box store from England, and it has been criticized and forced to remove one of its products from their website after parents complained that the *toy* can cause psychological damage to children:

Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

The Tesco Direct site advertises the kit with the words, "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

"Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars".

The £49.97 kit comprises a chrome pole extendible to 8ft 6ins, a 'sexy dance garter' and a DVD demonstrating suggestive dance moves.

At this point I would like to jump on the bandwagon and condemn Tesco in the strongest possible terms. Who's with me?

"Tesco is Britain's number one chain, this is extremely dangerous. It is an open invitation to turn the youngest children on to sexual behaviour.

"This will be sold to four, five and six-year olds. This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence."

He added: "Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol.

"It ought to be stopped, it really requires the intervention of members of Parliament. This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children."

Where's my pitchfork? This is an outrage! What is needed now is an angry mob of citizens to go to Tesco and burn the place down.

Wait, there's more....

The pole-dancing kit in question is clearly marked *for adult use*.

What the hell? The biggest retail store in Britain isn't marketing pole-dancing kits to four year olds? Do you mean to tell me that Tesco doesn't intend to corrupt little children and make them into dancing whores? Oh. Hmmmm, sorry about that whole *burn down the place* comment, Tesco, sometimes I get a tad carried away.

A giant relief to all dancing Polacks