The Desperate Househags Have Spoken

On Friday, I mentioned that my post on Marcia Cross was linked by the internets biggest Desperate Housewives site. I also mentioned that the Desperate Housewives groupies, or as I like to call them, "Househags", are rather upset with the way I dismantled Marcia Cross and the other various no-talent byotches that dirty up our airwaves. I'd like to post a few of their comments for you:

"Oh and I read the blog of the angry blogger. Did you read what he said about Flicka? I was ready to kill someone. He's so rude and disrespectful"

What the hell is a flicka? That word conjures up an image of some form of disgusting bodily waste that I flicka off my finger. Although, when applied to any of the Desperate Housewives, that certainly seems right.

"oh my dear god!! who the hell does this guy think that he is? i know that everyone is entitled to their opinion but let's face it, his is sooooooo wrong it stupid!! and everything he said about marcia and felicity and all the other housewives was just totally out of line!! grrrr to him!! i say we gang up on him too and get him!! show him who is boss!!"

I suggest if you really want to get back at me, if you really want to torture me, if you really want to put me through a living hell, you will make me watch Desperate Housewives. If you want to take it 10 steps further, you might want to make me watch you shower. I'm nearly positive that will scare the hell out of anyone.

"What an ass poor marcia i hope she wipes the floor with him grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr asshole"

The only thing that can help this person is if the cast of Desperate Housewives goes on Sesame Street and explains what a comma is to her.

" think that none of us should waste our precious time reading those stupid things.
Seriously, Who cares what this guy think about Marcia or the rest of the girls?

Get a job, loser!"

That really hurt The Mayor's feelings. After I read that I bawled like a baby. The tears streamed down my eyes so heavily that they leaked through my floorboards and into my furnace, temporarily shutting down The Manor's heating system. I was without heating for 3 hours all because some Desperate Househag wrote terrible things and made me cry. Even as I type this there is a little droplet of water forming in the corner of my eye socket. Please, I beg you, oh mighty Househags, stop insulting poor me!

o.m.g what a perv. seriously. omg on about Man yoghurt :|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:| FREAK! urgh! I dont think I will want dinner tonight! And plus calling Marcia, Ronald McDonald fucking spaz!

I'll bet anyone $6000 that this Househag, after reading my post, went directly to her fridge and smeared yogurt all over her face, then laid down on the ground and let her small dog lick it off.

AND, I didn't call Marci Cross Ronald McDonald, I said that any guy that wants to eff red-headed women secretly fantasizes about throwing it into Ronald McDonald. Just like any guy that wants to bone a Desperate Househag secretly fantasizes about boning sea urchins or dirty homeless cross-dressers.

I'll be honest, I love the Desperate Househags, I've gone to their site about 10 tmes just to see what was happening. The Househags make a point when they say they are loyal, I agree with that statement 100%. You know who else is loyal? My dog. And when you look at the big picture, there are alot of similarities between the Househags and my dog.

For instance: My dog likes to sniff the crotches of strangers, ditto for the Househags. My dog will eat table scraps and things that fall off my plate, Househags are also known for this. Dogs squat when they pee, so do Househags. My dog greets me when I get home from work by wagging its tail and giving my face big sloppy kisses. Househags do exactly the same thing to their owners, except replace the word "Face" with balls. My dog does nothing all day but laze around the house sleeping and shitting, ditto x 3 for the Househags.

I suppose the only difference between my dog and the Househags is that my dog doesn't watch Desperate Housewives... then again, my dog is
pretty smart.

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