Sex is More Than Necessary

According to a survey at Queen's University in Belfast, Northern Ireland (home to my pappy), researchers have found that frequent and *enthusiastic* sex leads to a host of immeasurable advantages for the body, mind and spirit. Among sex' fantastic attributes are:

-Improved sense of smell
-Reduced risk of heart disease
-Weight loss, overall fitness
-Reduced depression
-Pain-relief
-Less-frequent colds and flu
-Better bladder control
-Better teeth
-A happier prostate?

Is there anything sex can't do? The answer is no, sex can do anything. Even as we speak, sex is outside The Manor washing my car.

Is there such a thing as too much sex? Well yes, there is such a thing as too much sex. I applaud you for asking such a brilliant question. However, not in women, sex for a woman is a wonderful, healing process. Sex firms a woman's tummy and buttocks and also improve her posture. That's where the saying, "I'll eff you until your spine straightens out", came from. Actually, I just made that saying up, but with a little luck it could catch on.

As for men, too much sex can be a bad thing:

Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

You would think that if a man is administering a *pummeling*, or is being too *roisterous*, it wouldn't be the guy who would sustain damage, but the woman. I once heard that Dennis Rodman broke his penis administering a pummeling. I'm just not sure if he was pummeling a woman or a man.

So there you have it, sex is the end all and be all of everything it seems. Perhaps it's time to find your significant other, ply her open with booze, and apply a pummeling so hard that it will repair your prostate, give you better bladder control and firm up your girly's tummy.

Give a little, get alot