Interim Progress Report on the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US)
In keeping with the Open Government policy, I am sharing with you the results of an issue I have been involved in for some time.
As you know, the best way to influence the American government of George Bush is to invade them. To this end, a committee was formed to prepare an Action Plan to study Funding Requirements to develop Guidelines prepatory to Preparations Leading Up To (but not including) War with the United States, or APFRGPLU(bni)W(US) for short. Reporting to this committee is a network of inter-reporting subsidiary bureaucratic entities. Here is what one of them is doing to you right now:
Digest of the report of the sub-committee dealing with Secret Police Powers and Policy (the ScSPPP, for short):
It was decided that a Secret Police force, in order to be effective and have credibility, should be secret from the public which they serve. Our heroic secret policepeople, must be able to work in darkness, in the protection of silence, in order to protect the state in its policy objectives. Everyone agrees with this, anyone who does not is a traitor.
It was pointed out to the ScSPPP that, within the larger mandate of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), that a truly effective Secret State Police should also be secret from the State itself. As is well known amongst Statist Theoreticians (especially in the writings of Amon-ankh-amon (4166 - 4098 BC), the Father of metastatisic Statism and High Priest of the Cult of Set), accountability free governance is the second leg of the chair of adequate government. For our Secret Police to be effective, they must be secret both from the public and the state.
While it is easy to print up a few tonnes of paper advocating a policy, the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), especially the ScSPPP does not shirk from moving beyond talk and into the realm of discussion. Consensus was reached that a weekend thinktank should be held to explore methods of keeping the Secret Police secret from the State. This event was held in Kitchener, Ontario, using the Oktoberfest festivities as cover for our covert meetings. Important conversations were held in noisy beer halls over steins of beer while consuming greasy sausages and oogling non-specific sex objects.
I am the State. Civil Libertarians mistakenly judge the actions of the Stuart Monarchy in Great Britain, or the pre-revolution Bourbons in France as somehow 'negative' as far as civil rights go. Taxation without Representation is celebrated in many cultures, and a true multi-culturalist will soon tire of the whining by over-educated and under-entertained 'intellectuals' pushing around difficult arguments full of big words criticising this policy. With Taxation without Representation, the State may extract the funds it needs to assure the health and well being of the children, kittens, and saplings under its maternal care. Given that the Stuarts and Bourbon rulers were correct about Taxation without Representation, it is a short slide down the slippery slope to conclude that we, as individuals who are members of the elite who direct the state, are the state. This is summed up in the catchy hip-hop phrase: I am the State.
The ScSPPP concluded that through this logical reasoning, our Secret Police will be able to enact their agenda of Total World Domination, with Accountability Free Governance. Those members of the Secret Police can identify themselves to each other with a simple salute, click of the heels, and the slogan, 'I am the State'. This is good news.
It was decided that the kernel of this organization would be the Secret Service detachment at Mitchieville Public Library. This organization will be folded into the current membership of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), bringing with them an extensive skill set useful to any growing and effective Secret Police.
If you have any questions, merely whisper them into the bookstacks at your nearest public library. We will be listening. We are watching. Under the wise yet firm direction of the Supreme Librarian, the Mitchieville Public Library has exceeded goals in re-education, revenue generation, and awareness of the Dewey decimal system. These same efficiencies can be expanded to cover the planet, much as the Cult of Set spread under Amon-ankh-amon.
Unfortunately, the good work of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US) is in jeopardy from Harperite tax cuts. We need vermillion photocopy paper, chromed paper clips, and three-color Hewlett-Packard printer ink. You can help yourself help us to help you pay more taxes more often by supporting the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US). Send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
As you know, the best way to influence the American government of George Bush is to invade them. To this end, a committee was formed to prepare an Action Plan to study Funding Requirements to develop Guidelines prepatory to Preparations Leading Up To (but not including) War with the United States, or APFRGPLU(bni)W(US) for short. Reporting to this committee is a network of inter-reporting subsidiary bureaucratic entities. Here is what one of them is doing to you right now:
Digest of the report of the sub-committee dealing with Secret Police Powers and Policy (the ScSPPP, for short):
It was decided that a Secret Police force, in order to be effective and have credibility, should be secret from the public which they serve. Our heroic secret policepeople, must be able to work in darkness, in the protection of silence, in order to protect the state in its policy objectives. Everyone agrees with this, anyone who does not is a traitor.
It was pointed out to the ScSPPP that, within the larger mandate of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), that a truly effective Secret State Police should also be secret from the State itself. As is well known amongst Statist Theoreticians (especially in the writings of Amon-ankh-amon (4166 - 4098 BC), the Father of metastatisic Statism and High Priest of the Cult of Set), accountability free governance is the second leg of the chair of adequate government. For our Secret Police to be effective, they must be secret both from the public and the state.
While it is easy to print up a few tonnes of paper advocating a policy, the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), especially the ScSPPP does not shirk from moving beyond talk and into the realm of discussion. Consensus was reached that a weekend thinktank should be held to explore methods of keeping the Secret Police secret from the State. This event was held in Kitchener, Ontario, using the Oktoberfest festivities as cover for our covert meetings. Important conversations were held in noisy beer halls over steins of beer while consuming greasy sausages and oogling non-specific sex objects.
I am the State. Civil Libertarians mistakenly judge the actions of the Stuart Monarchy in Great Britain, or the pre-revolution Bourbons in France as somehow 'negative' as far as civil rights go. Taxation without Representation is celebrated in many cultures, and a true multi-culturalist will soon tire of the whining by over-educated and under-entertained 'intellectuals' pushing around difficult arguments full of big words criticising this policy. With Taxation without Representation, the State may extract the funds it needs to assure the health and well being of the children, kittens, and saplings under its maternal care. Given that the Stuarts and Bourbon rulers were correct about Taxation without Representation, it is a short slide down the slippery slope to conclude that we, as individuals who are members of the elite who direct the state, are the state. This is summed up in the catchy hip-hop phrase: I am the State.
The ScSPPP concluded that through this logical reasoning, our Secret Police will be able to enact their agenda of Total World Domination, with Accountability Free Governance. Those members of the Secret Police can identify themselves to each other with a simple salute, click of the heels, and the slogan, 'I am the State'. This is good news.
It was decided that the kernel of this organization would be the Secret Service detachment at Mitchieville Public Library. This organization will be folded into the current membership of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US), bringing with them an extensive skill set useful to any growing and effective Secret Police.
If you have any questions, merely whisper them into the bookstacks at your nearest public library. We will be listening. We are watching. Under the wise yet firm direction of the Supreme Librarian, the Mitchieville Public Library has exceeded goals in re-education, revenue generation, and awareness of the Dewey decimal system. These same efficiencies can be expanded to cover the planet, much as the Cult of Set spread under Amon-ankh-amon.
Unfortunately, the good work of the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US) is in jeopardy from Harperite tax cuts. We need vermillion photocopy paper, chromed paper clips, and three-color Hewlett-Packard printer ink. You can help yourself help us to help you pay more taxes more often by supporting the APFRGPLU(bni)W(US). Send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
posted by The Mayor at 3:49 PM
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