Michael Jackson Can't Perform Due to Stage Fright

Michael Jackson returned to the stage for his first singing performance in more than 9 last night, and everything was completely normal:

He had told organisers that he would re-create his Thriller video after being presented with the Diamond Award for selling more than 100 million albums. But the celebrities and public, who had paid up to £70 for a ticket, were left waiting for 30 minutes as Jackson suffered stage fright in his dressing room. Beyoncé, who was being honoured in the show, comforted Jackson and persuaded him to sing.

It turned out that Michael sang 1 verse and 1 chorus, which is completely normal.

Asked how they felt about spending $170.00 Canadian on a ticket to watch Michael Jackson not sing, concert goers said they felt completely normal. Asked how Michael Jackson looked and acted in the dressing room during the concert, Beyonce said Michael was completely normal. Asked how he felt physically and mentally as the concert was taking place around him, Michael Jackson responded that he felt completely normal. Asked how it felt to have a white pedophile woman sing one verse from a bad song, the country of England said it felt completely normal.

All is well folks, go home and have a nice sleep tonight.

Completely normal article here