The Social Conservative Peril (part 2, section a)

It keeps getting worse and worse, despite the inadequate amounts of money allocated to academic research, lobbying, and finger paint therapy.

Wife Beating is on the rise in Canada. And it is getting even worse now that Gay Marriage has opened the flood gates of even more male privilege based spouse beating. It is a well known Law of the Universe that all men are violent abusers. Now, in a male-male marriage, there is twice the number of brutal attackers, and twice the number of victims. There is a four fold increase in horrific acts of violence because of this. And all wife beating can be traced back to social conservatives. Everyone knows that. Everyone who does not, is a racist.

There is light at the end of the railway tunnel. A single progressive municipality has taken the first faltering steps in the addressing the four fold increase in domestic violence. Yes, Mitchieville has allocated five hundred units of fully funded housing for the use of recovering victims of domestic violence. No more will leaving the toilet seat up be tolerated as in the darkest days of the endless Dark Ages of Social Conservatism.

Located along the peaceful banks of the river Styx, the Mitchieville (Gay, Lesbian, Other-Sexed, Bisexual) Domestic Violence Respite Place (short form: M(GLOB)DVRP, pronounced em-GLOB-dav-rap) provides a place of recovery and ego soothing for everyone, victims, potential victims, and activist victim facilitators. The crescent shape of the structure symbolizes the caring embrace of the care-free care available there. The windows face the earth friendly acres of the Badwulf Golf Experience Center, so torture victims can easily rebuild their self-esteem with a short walk to the links. And the food is almost worth being beaten with a Bible for! Our chefs, all multi-cultural and all illegal immigrants, prepare a diversity of aboriginal, tribal, and counter-intuitive approaches to fine dining. Or, take an afternoon to relax in the Spa L'eau avec L'Ampere to take in the world famous hypothermic mud baths. It can take a lifetime to recover from the possibility of social conservative cruelty, and what better place to spend your state funded hours, days, weeks, and years, than in the loving care of the M(GLOB)DVRP. All government assistance is accepted, and our staff social workers will work hard to find you additional entitlements for your eternity of care.

Recovery from Social Conservatism. It takes a lifetime in our little Global Village to rebuild the hurt soul within. Our team of professionals, social workers, astrologers, and dedicated amateur electrolobotomists, will make your personality reassignment their number one priority, even if it takes the rest of your life. There are plenty of activities, all drawn from the third world experience, and especially the spiritual center of Africa. You can make bricks in our brick therapy center, or express your creativity as a basket weaver. Let our facilitators Lord Hades and Lady Persephone make you better.

Rescue is only a phone call away. Our phone lines are open, and you can call collect! Let Lord Hades and Lady Persephone escort you to a world peaceful and serene, fully funded by Ottawa, forever. Call now. Premium locations are going fast. Your neighbour is calling, so should you. Have your credit card ready.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care

cross posted at Dust My Broom, a leg hold trap free zone.