40 Things That Happen Only in Movies

Miss Earth 2006 and I were hanging out today, eating deep fried mozzarella sticks, playing *match the sock* (it's a super-happy-fun-time laundry game), and surfing the interwebs, when we found this old yet still funny post on Use My Computer.

Sure, the post is old, but damn me to hell if there aren't some a few chuckles, three or four guffaws, and a host of haha's involved in this award-winning literary masterpiece. What was Miss Earth 2006's favourite *only in movie* things? Haha, you frisky little devil, I'm glad you asked:

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

Only in movies, you say? Yes, only in movies.

While Miss Earth laughed hysterically at the compiled list, I was busy fretting over the reason why the roofie I slipped in her Dr. Pepper wasn't having any effect on her. Did Fenris sell me bad shit? Is this woman an alien and drugs don't affect her? Should I be using the word *affect* or *effect*? So many questions, so little time.

Anyway, the list goes on and on and there's something for the whole family to enjoy. Mind you, I'm assuming you have a bizarre, semi-tarded family that doesn't appreciate humour.

Man, I'm wired tonight.