I wish I was drunk

People often ask me, "Your honourable Mayor, can you dig it?" It seems as if everyone with a big toe wants to know if the Mayor can *dig it*. If I had a dollar for every time someone came up to me and asked me if I can *dig it*, I'd have over $290,000.

I want my loyal and upstanding readership to know, that yes, the Mayor *digs it*.

Not only do I *dig it*, but I've *dug it*. If it's *been dug*, that's only because I was the first one to *dig it*.

Sometimes I *dig* something so much I actually refer to what *I've dug*, as *digging*. At first I might *dig* something, but then after a while I feel that I've *dug it* as much as I can, the *dig* goes right into the sphere as *digging* it.

Most humans will never *dig* the stuff I've *dug*. It's impossible for mortals to be *diggers* to the same extent that I am.

I know that there is no such word as *duggins*, but if there was, I'm sure the universe would have to attribute that word to me.

Now, go off into the world and think about what I just typed. Become one with the words that you have just read. I just threw you some pretty sweet frickin' pearls, and I ask nothing in return from you.

Ya dig?