Britney Spears had the munchies

In a rare picture of Britney Spears (insert massive amounts of laughter here), she is shown telling friends and family how many minutes it took her to eat Kevin Federline's body.

I, for one, am happy as pie that Kevin Federline doesn't exist anymore. Having to look at his worthless, shiftless carcass whenever I graced the pages of any entertainment section was enough to make me bring out my attitude adjustment bat with the giant spike through it and attack the homeless while they slept on park benches. It was that bad for me.

As for Britney's child, I'm so sorry that it had to endure a double helping of white trash genes. I cry myself a river of tears when I think of what the poor kid is going to have to go through in life with a momma that's as smart as a dishrag, and a father who is as lazy as a G.M. worker.

From now on I will only refer to Britney's soon to be born baby as "victim #1".

Pic taken from Just Jared