50,000 Hits Makes Me Nuts

I have come to the conclusion that a few of my readers do not believe that I will take three solid kicks to the balls if I receive 50,000 hits by July 1. Sure, I'm a thief, an adulterer, a fraud, an arson, a bigot, a man trapped in a bigger man's body, but one thing that I am not is a liar.

I swear on the Pope's rotting carcass that if I do if fact receive 50,000 hits by July 1, that I will let three of my friends go old school on my pills. I will videotape the whole event, including me in the emergency room. There will be no props used in this event, it will be three real live feet kicking my goodies, and it will be my hairy balls that receive the whoopin'.

I can't make this any clearer for you, I want 50,000 hits so bad that I'm willing to swallow my own blood and have my balls shot up through my stomach.

I'm really going to miss my balls, we've had a lot of good times together.