Kick Me In The Nuts

When people ask me why I bothered to get into blogging, I tell them straight out that I do it for the attention, I'm an attention getter. I'm strictly a hit whore, I love to know that people lurk around my site, and if I can't get attention I'll quit blogging and start up my other hobby that I've had success at over the years, I train mice to race through mazes at bachelor parties. Some people like to collect stamps, I like to race vermin.

In my never ending quest for "hits", I am going to propose an idea today that will revolutionize the way people whore themselves out for hits. Do you remember a while back I posted about some guy who was going to kill and eat his rabbit unless people sent him $50,000 by July 1st? I thought it was pure genius, but I'm going to try to one up that.

I'm proposing here today that if I reach 50,000 hits by July 1, I will let three of my friends kick me in the balls. You read that right, I will sacrifice my nut sack for hits. I'm not fucking kidding, if I can garner 50,000 measly hits I will let three of my friends give me a solid kick to the goodies.

Shocked? Shocked that I would let my friends kick my package? I knew you would be, let's face it, it's insane, but so help me God, I will do it. Not only will I do it, but I will videotape it and post it on my site for the entire universe to see. And I don't mean that I'll let them give me a tap in the balls, I mean that they can give me a full throttle kick so squarely in the pills that I'll probably pass out.

I want you to spread the word to your friends, your family, your congregation, anyone. Tell them that they need to go to this site so you, my warped, twisted readership can see a fellow human get sacked.

I'm at just over 4000 hits right now, so all I need is a paltry 46,000 more hits. So come back soon and often and let's wreck the Mayor of Mitchieville for life.