Flee Foolish Mortals!!

What is best in life? To crush your enemies. To see them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women

Conan The Barbarian

Conan was a Pussy

Your New Worst Nightmare – Me

Vote Todd for Mayor. It is in your best interests. If I were You, I know it would be in my best interests. Like walking around on TWO legs, or Breathing without assistance. Those kinds of Best Interests.

But really, I don’t want you to think in any way that my campaign for Civic robes should be construed as a threat.

A threat implies the holstered pistol has the guard unclipped. I prefer to think of the metaphor as the trigger is ever so slowly being pulled.

But really, why would a kookaburra bother threatening a field mouse. After all I have seen Fenris’ Mongol Horde. Lets just say that they would be more suited to the latest off-broadway tribute to the king of Siam than the assault on the Ming Dynasty’s greatest achievement to futility.

So feel free to vote for anybody you choose. Hey, the Mayor may even be sober enough to notice that you had. Well, when he isn’t off chasing the Dragon anyway.

In fact, feel free to take Fenris at his word. Five hundred and thirty seven criminal trials without a single exoneration, but hey, there is a first time for anything.

Or maybe you’re a Lisa Man. Or maybe Lisa IS a man. I don’t really know, but have you seen a birth certificate? Or a DNA sample? And what relation is she to Sarah Palin? My reliable informants are positive that she is either the first daughter, the second son, or Todd Palin’s biological half neice/half nephew.

So yes, feel entirely free to vote for whomever you may choose. I want you to exert your quaint democratic customs to the fullest.

In the end it will make no difference. The tanks have already turned their engines over, the magazines have been packed, the missiles tipped, the wings loaded and UN Security Council Bought Off.

I'm Todd of the Underland, and I approve this message