Erection, Nut, Penis--Good Times

I'm sure this guy wasn't entitled to a grief councillor, but in this case he should have been:

A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said Sunday.

Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.

It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his penis to make it longer.

If your penis is the size of a tator tot, then I suggest following this man's lead. If you're anything like me, and are looking for a way to get bigger length out of your unit, try what I do. First, get yourself a good tire. A strong tire, preferably not something steel belted. Now, push that sucker over your rocket, I understand if it hurts at first, it really was a job getting it to fit over the tip of my penis the first time. Next, lay back and wait for the inches to appear and the ladies to start kicking down your door, you hung stud.

**I should also mention, when I said you should use a tire, I didn't mean a car tire. HAHAHA, how big do you think I am? I was talking about a motorcycle tire.

That was nuts