Shirley Temple Celebrates Her Birthday In Mitchievillian Style

Shirley Temple celebrated her 80th birthday today, but in a pre-birthday drunken celebration (I'm lying) last week, broke her wing:

"I broke my arm last week at my house, it hurts quite a bit," she told Reuters on Tuesday.

"People should turn on the lights when they are walking around in the dark," she joked.

Whatever, Temple, we're not all rich like you, some of us can't afford electricity, big shot.

Regardless of Temple's anti-environmental stance, I still like her. Even though her face now resembles a pumpkin I left out on my stoop last October and only found today, she is still an inspiring figure. How, I'm not sure, let's just go with that and move the hell on.

On behalf of Mitchievillians worldwide, I would like to sing, and tap-dance, the Happy Birthday song for Shirley Temple:

Happy Birthday to you,
I don't care that your face looks like a shoe.
I wish you nothing but the best,
but Fenris doesn't cuz he's bitter and hates blondes.

Happy birthday to you,
You worked with Gary Cooper and Arthur Treacher, too.
You might remember Arthur Treacher, he was the butler in most of Temple's movies.
Thanks for stereotyping blacks as little more than servants of the man,...yo.

Happy Birthday to you,
You ran unsuccessfully for Congress against retired Korean War veteran Pete McCloskey in around 1967, too.
You received a Lifetime Achievement Award from Sarah Gilbert,
That's that ugly little slut that played Darlene on the Rosanne Show. Regardless, Happy Birthday toooooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuu.

From all your fans in Mitchieville!

Break a leg!