Beauty Queen Faces Kidnapping Charges

Kumari Fulbright, 25, a former beauty queen and current law school student, faces a slew of charges stemming from a botched kidnapping of her ex boyfriend.

Police believe that Fulbrights ex boyfriend may have stolen jewellery from her, and from there all hell broke out:

Fulbright invited the man to her apartment, then excused herself to shower, said police spokesman Sgt. Fabian Pacheco. Then two men showed up and bound him with plastic ties and duct tape, accused him of taking the jewelry, and threatened to shoot him with pistols, Pacheco said.

When Fulbright finished her shower, she allegedly bit the man on his forearm, right hand and ear, held a butcher knife to his head, and told him she was going to kill him.

Authorities said the man was taken to another home, where the assault continued, then taken back to Fulbright’s house, where she guarded him with a gun.

The man finally managed to free a hand and grabbed the gun, which discharged but hit no one, authorities said. As their struggle spilled outside, the man screamed for help, then ran to a home down the block, while Fulbright returned to her apartment, Pacheo said.

Fulbright was arrested along with another man and charged with numerous accounts of this and that.

I think you will all agree with me when I say that Kumari Fulbright must have a vagina that tastes like beef jerky and the sucking power of a souped up Hoover vacuum cleaner, because for the life of me I can't figure out why so many men are doing so many God damned stupid things to impress this hideous looking street urchin. Who knows, maybe her vagina dispenses gold coins, I'm at a loss to figure this whole thing out.

Either way, she's the best looking woman in Arizona. Which reminds me, cancel flight to Arizona immediately.

Thanks, Larry, I owe you one!