San Franciscan's Are A-Okay In My Book

A wake was held New Years Day for the victim of a tiger attack that happened at the San Francisco zoo Christmas eve. Oh ya, the wake was held for the tiger, not for the two injured men or the guy that was mauled to death.

Although only four people showed up for the wake, and typically a four person wake doesn't make the news, this four person wake was different, it was from the heart...

Four people showed up on the beach at dusk to hold candles, huddle by the fire and watch the first sunset of 2008. Turnout was modest but from the heart.

Modest? Four people? You don't say.

Jon Engdahl, a San Francisco handyman who decided to hold the vigil, had this to say about the terrible tragedy:

"That animal got a raw deal at our hands," he said. "Tatiana was being a tiger. We humans are the ones that make the choices. The tigers don't."

Actually, the tiger did make a choice. It decided to maul three people and by the grace of God only one person died. The only raw deal the animal got was that it didn't get the chance to make vittles out of more humans.

Maybe New Year's Day is too full of parades and football to hold a wake, but it was the least humans could do, Engdahl said.

No, the least anyone could have done was nothing. However, the least some idiot humans could have done was to hold a wake for an animal that chewed a person to death.

Then the article takes a wee break in order to create a sense of atmosphere...

Down the beach, surfers were riding waves, kids were flying kites, and lovebirds were sitting in the front seats of parked cars, smooching.

I'm seconds away from filling this keyboard with eye water. Damn you, Steve Rubenstein, damn you, you beautiful bastard!

Later in the evening the third and fourth member of Club Moron showed up, and this is what the male specie had to say about the death of Tony the Tiger:

"Now she's gone and she isn't coming back," Fappiano said. "Humans have failed tigers.

So true. We have failed tigers by not letting them eat us like we're a bunch of Salisbury steaks.

I think it's time for some more atmosphere...

The waves washed up to within a foot of the bonfire and then, as if they sensed the solemnity, retreated.

Waves are cool like that, always sensing solemnity and stuff.

I wish I had more memories to share with you, but alas, I don't. I'd like to thank the four tiger mourners, the many victims of this incredibly vicious attack, and of course, Tatiana/Tony the Tiger, who made this all possible.