The Mayor Unleashes Platform #4

Mitchieville is known throughout the world as a society that values tolerance, culture, diversity and cultural diversive tolerance. These 4.5 things make Mitchieville such a progressive and forward-thinking community, the envy of the rest of the world.

We also value freedom and choice, those values are our bond, our commonality. What we hate are close-minded people, we hork on them.

I am The Mayor that listens to his constituents, that works for the people. I am The Mayor of the people. That is why, when the people of Mitchieville came to me and asked me to enact this platform which i am going to announce, I did it with ease.

Effective immediately, all vegetarian restaurants in Mitchieville will be shut down until they agree to add meat-based product to their menus.

You see, every non-vegetarian restaurant in Mitchieville have meat-based foods, but they also have salads for the vegetarian crowd. This is fair. Vegetarian restaurants don't provide any meat-based dishes whatsoever for their meatatarian customers. This is prejudice to the millionth degree. It is also intolerant, perverse and possible even racist.

All three Mitchievillian vegetarian restaurants have been closed tighter than a nuns snapper. The three restaurants in question are: Lisa's Kitchen, Lisa's Salads & Stuff, and Lisa's Good-time Cookery and Saddle Store.

Until these restaurants can prove, in writing, in triplicate, and pay a hefty fine, they will stay shut. If they fail to terminate their operations immediately, the Minister of Munitions has been ordered to close them...with extreme prejudice.

That is all.