Campaign Notebook

Mitchieville Public Library Debate #30

Last night's debate at the Central Branch Library nearly ended in a riot.

Fenris showed up late stinking of prune mush and swamp water, The Mayor showed up drunk, and Lisa could barely be heard over the rock music blaring from the adjoining meeting room occupied by local bands invited to encourage teen presence at the library.

The first question to the candidates (that is The Mayor and Lisa, as Fenris had not yet arrived) addressed the role of the city in promoting arts and culture. The Mayor replied that the people have a right to art and promised to build a performing arts centre, another arena, four more art galleries, and more community centres besides. He also said he will devote one of the walls of City hall to graffiti artists. Lisa retorted that all of the walls of City Hall are already considered to be giant canvasses by graffiti vandals. After a chorus of boos by Reg and some thuggish looking friends of his dressed in leather, Lisa explained that while art is clearly a value to most people, they should pay for it themselves. "When so many people in Mitchieville are barely able to afford groceries due to astronomical taxes, publicly funded art handouts are hardly a priority", said Ms. Lisa.


At this point, Fenris entered the room wearing one of the recently produced *BITCH* t-shirts (paid for with voluntary contributions to the organization) with a menacing expression on his face. Silence immediately ensued. Fenris has been behaving in a stranger manner than usual ever since the Mayor shut down his prized telemarketing centres. It is well known Fenris is an active supporter of activists. He also prefers to conduct his business in Mitchieville rather than Scarborough. Lisa is not only the founding member of *BITCH*, but she has also pledged to allow the reopening of the centres once she is elected Mayor of Mitchieville. Hmmm.

The second question posed to the candidates was about the rising crime rate in Mitchieville. The three candidates were asked what they would do to promote and ensure the security of Mitchievillians. After a long belch, The Mayor denied there was a problem in the first place. "Look, I've been Mayor of Mitchieville for as long as anyone remembers. If crime rates are going up, this could indicate that I have not been doing a very good job. But I'm doing a fine job, thus, crime rates are not going up."


Fenris pointed out that criminals are not necessarily criminals and that society must take responsibility for their own greed and discrimination. "Capitalism is essentially a legalized form of plunder wherein the wealthy and affluent steal money from their employees by providing them with employment. Privately owned factories continue to operate in Mitchieville, yet my telemarketing centres, run by activists who care, have been shut down." Fenris went on to explain that when an exploited worker takes something without paying from Loblaws, he is called a thief, yet when an employer hires and subsequently pays his employee less than half of his profits, he is simply going about his own business. Shocking!"

Before Lisa had a chance to respond, a large group of boys noisily entered the room on skateboards. "We want a skateboard park! We want a skateboard park! We'll keep skateboarding at the library if we don't get one because there is nowhere else to go." A few librarians tried to restore order in the room, but they were clearly unnumbered once members of a local graffiti activist group entered the room armed with spray paint cans and markers. The Mayor blamed Fenris, Fenris blamed the Mayor and Lisa blamed the library, The Mayor and Fenris.

The Mitchieville Coalition against Poverty blamed the Bourgeoisie.

Opposing activists groups starting shaking their protest signs at each other, as the starving graffiti artists decorated the walls. A capitalist sympathizer called the Mitchieville emergency response unit. I swiftly swept Lisa off her feet and rushed her out of the library.

I, YY wrote this.