The Telephone Aint Ringing

It gives me great pleasure to announce my third platform policy tonight, something that Mitchievillian's have asked for and something that I'm happy to deliver.

My fellow Mitchievillian's: As of 2pm this afternoon, I have enacted a cease and desist order on all three Mitchievillian telemarketing agencies. The three telemarketing agencies include: The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence. The Fenris Badwulf Telemarketing School For Newly Arrived Canadians. And finally, The Fenris Badwulf School for Hungry Telemarketing Sales Bears.

No longer will any Mitchievillian have to put up with those annoying dinner-time phone calls from professional beggars. No longer will Mitchievillian's be disturbed during their free time by dusters, shysters and frauds. The pain stops here!

Anyone unauthorized telemarketing will be subject to the fiercest penalties allowed by law, including, but not limited to: Public flogging of minimum 30 lashes, a $100,000.00 fine and 2 years in jail. Also, immediate deportation to Wyattsford.

Sure, it's tough, but it's also fair.

On October 11, after I'm elected, I will enact a Do No Call list. Mitchievillian's deserve their peace and quiet and damn it, that's what they'll get.

Some people may say that I'm only doing this to put the squeeze on Fenris Badwulf. Some people may say I'm only doing this to GET FENRIS OUT OF THE RACE, BUT IF HE THROWS HIS SUPPORT BEHIND ME AND DROPS OUT OF THE RACE THEN THE DOORS TO HIS ACADEMIES WILL OPEN IMMEDIATELY.

Wow, how did those specific words get stuck on caps?