Christina Aguilera Got Inpregnated By A Troll

Christina Aguilera found out that she was pregnant this week and I couldn't be happier for her. Actually, truth be told, I could care less. What I really want to do is draw attention to the creature attached to her arm. That no-chinned hobbit is music executive Jordan Bratman, and he gives hope to all ugly guys throughout the universe. Bratman is either a master manipulator, a specialist in dumping roofies in the drinks of hot women, or he is some sort of master magician that has hypnotized Chistina Aguilera, cuz there is no way in hell he caught that fine piece of ass with his looks.

Bratman gives hope to every guy that resembles something that was scraped off a work boot. Every revolting, grotesque, frightful, dogfaced pug must have a shrine dedicated to this guy, he must be like a God to the repulsive and hideous.