The Uses of Canada

Ultimately, Canada's existance is to act as a springboard for the invasion of the United States. From Canadian soil will roll the tanks and assault guns of The Revolution that will blast their way into the suburbs and farms of America. It is time our government in Ottawa realized this, and cut all ties with our allies, and cut a deal with our enemies. Some would call this treachery. But the stench of treachery will soon be replaced with the sweet aroma of burning American cities, filled with rubble and crime.

Canada is backing the wrong side. The Toronto Star says so. I do not actually read the paper, and my observation is based on gossip, flattery, and cunning; I am a wanna-be blogoid Toronto Star whipper-snapper journalist. The absence of ability is both obvious and objective, which is good.

Make Harper adopt a Stalinist Dictatorship, now! Only Stephen Harper has the power to bring in a true autocratic dictatorship. Joseph Stalin was an autocratic dictator, and the CBC always portrays him in a positive light. So, autocratic dictatorship is good! So how can we force Stephen Harper to adopt the best for Canada, which is an autocratic dictatorship?

Under Stalin, there was no 'youth crime'. Unlike the brutal capitalists, the kind and gentle Stalin recognized that crime was really a social disease, like poverty. Under Stalin's gaze, malcontents and subversives were given social solutions to social diseases, such as electro-shock, forced labor, and castration. Without Stalinism, there will be no victory over American-style Capitalism. As socialist Half-Canadians of every plaid and tartan, we must celebrate diversity with a unified call for preparation for the planning of the struggle against the outworks of Capitalism.

Stephen Harper must stage an armed coup, now! Put on your red shirt and black beret, Comrade Harper. Just arrest everyone who complains. Stage Roman-style public executions of your enemies; get great television ratings; sell lots of newspapers. Behind you, Comrade Harper, is the full strength of the Secret Telemarketing Trades Union, Toronto Local 535.

I, Fenris Badwulf, Business Manager, Secret Telemarketing Trades Union, Toronto Local 535, wrote this.
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